brokenandalone Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I started seeing this guy in Jan. and everything seemed to progress beautifully until one night I ran into him at the bar a month later. He was making out/all over another girl. I flipped out and we didn't speak for over a month. Then he texted me saying he made a mistake and he wanted to be with me, so we hung out again a couple times but it never got as serious as before because I didn't trust him. We still continued to talk even once summer started and we both went home for the summer (I am a senior in college, he is a 2nd year Grad student). Over the summer, we got REALLY close again, we saw each other over the summer more than we did when we were at school together. Then something bad happened, I was raped. I obviously told him because it was something I felt he had the right to know and if he wanted to be with me or not after what happened. He chose to continue to see me and even met my family over the summer. Things were going great, or so I thought....I came up to school over the summer for a friends birthday party and I knew a girl that was at the party who worked with him so I mentioned his name to see what she would say about him. She called him a male whore and so on and so forth. Then I continued to find more things about him that really upset me, so I confronted him and we talked and he admitted to those things. He said he really cares about me but hes scared. He even said he had everything planned about how he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend, but I still do not know to this day what that is. Well the problems began in July and have sky rocketed ever since. He is so hot and cold. One minute he cares about me and wants to be with me, the next minute he doesn't think we should talk anymore because he is only hurting me. We don't speak for a few days, then suddenly he contacts me and says he is drawn to me and can't stay away from me. Then things get really good, then it happens over and over and over. I can't stay away from him either as much as I hate him I CANT. Two Sunday's ago we went shopping together and had dinner, it was awesome, we got along so well. Everything seemed to be going great again. We hung out the following two days and then Wednesday he dropped the bomb on me. He said we shouldn't contact each other anymore because he is only hurting me. He cares too much about me to keep putting me through this pain, and that he is not ready for the same commitment I am. He said he is scared and knows what we could be and that is what makes him want to run away, so he is. So I did a good job of ignoring him and not speaking to him afterwards, two days after this conversation, he texted me just saying "Hi". I texted him back with a "?" and all he said was "just thought i would say hi." He texted me the following night drunk trying to get me to come see him and said he missed me, I didn't go tho! Then Monday when we returned back from our Fall Break, he again said that we shouldn't talk to each other. So we didn't. I ran into him at the bar Thrusday night and everytime I looked his way he was looking at me..I ignored him and went home, and then we started texting that we missed each other again and I stayed at his house, and I stayed Friday night as well, but we fought the entire time. Then last night I ran into him again and things went pretty bad leading to today... He said he has his own issues and doesn't need my baggage too. He thinks that we need to stay out of each other's lifes forever and said he was going to delete my number from his phone. He told me to move on a forget about him and then cut it off and hasn't said anything else. I feel this is the final time and he really is leaving... But that goes to my question...why is he pushing me away if he cares about me so much? Why does he treat me like ****, when I am the one person in his life that actually does care about him. Why does he go out and get with all these random girls? Why does he continue to keep me around when he is not benefitting much from it ( we've only slept together 5 times since January, and I don't buy him things or give him money, or anything like that). I just do NOT understand. I don't know what to think. Does he care about me, did he ever? What did I do to deserve this when I have done nothing to him but flip out on him here and there for his infidelity and issues. I just feel like something is wrong with me...I don't deserve this, but all I want is him..He is the cause of my storm, but the calm of it as well. I'm sorry this is all over the place but I was trying my best to shorten the version that I could have wrote a chapter book on. Please help
2sunny Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 he's doing you a favor. leave him alone. he's a player. when he pushes you away - it's because he's got others gals to attend to. he rotates them - he calls when you are on his rotation. his words mean nothing when he's being kind. men like that only tell you great things so that you will be intimate with him. it works - doesn't it?
Author brokenandalone Posted October 19, 2009 Author Posted October 19, 2009 no not really..like I said in the post our relationship wasn't very sexual. We haven't had sex in like 2 months, when we hang out, its a date or a movie night and we cuddle and go to sleep. and I do think he cares a little bit, or if not, he is the only guy i know who can cry on cue
EarthGirl Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 and I do think he cares a little bit, or if not, he is the only guy i know who can cry on cue pff...actors, nothin but trouble.
Author brokenandalone Posted October 19, 2009 Author Posted October 19, 2009 i guess i am just stupid
Surfgal Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 i guess i am just stupid No, you're not stupid. Just have to awaken to who you are and what you represent in your life. I believe your better than what he can offer you.
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