Bulldozed Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 My ex (of 5 wks) and I met in late August. During this evening, we had a nice open and honest talk about us needing to "take a break" for a while to get our minds clear on moving forward. She assured me we weren’t “breaking up” and that she had no interest in dating. We closed the night with absolutely mind blowing sex. Never a problem with us as our sex life was awesome! Mind you our relationship to that point, as far as I could tell was always pretty solid. So much so, that in late July, early August, we were discussing wedding plans, and bridesmaids/grooms-man and a venue, for our wedding. I'm still paying on the ring. In fact, just prior to that, she had a lengthy discussion with my sister-n-law about the possibility of having our wedding ceremony in their backyard, poolside, followed by a blow out reception at a nearby hall. I love this woman with all my heart. We were friends for years, prior to us getting together 2 summers ago. I'll always be convinced the reason for our meeting was pure fate, as we had dated before, but never to this extent. We knew we were soulmates early on. My error the past couple of months was she felt more comfortable texting emotional grenades about us (and her concerns) then ever discussing them. Despite my responses, pleading with her not to do that…and that we should talk in person, it never changed. Back in the spring, one of her best-friends walked out on her husband. We had just had dinner with them 2 weeks earlier. I knew there was tension in the air between the two of them. The husband, in an attempt to find out the whereabouts of his wife, reached out to his wife’s friend, my girlfriend, hoping maybe should could have better luck tracking her down? I was never concerned about it, and if she could help him, then go ahead. Never for a second did I ever believe that she could possibly allow herself to get emotionally involved with this guy. I’m relatively certain that since our “break” she’s been sleeping with him, as his house is literally right around the corner from mine, and I’ve seen her car there. Whatever doubts she was having, I’m sure this guy is validating her emotions, making her feel good….etc. I know for a fact that he has bedded a number of woman since his wife left him. My girl has had a terrible past…married and divorced twice and her most recent boyfriend prior to me treated her horribly. All three sought solitude from her….two ditched her forthe basement with a bong, while the 2nd husband cheated on her multiple times. By contrast, I was the best thing that ever happened to her. Maybe I wasn't "needy" enough for her, as it seems the guys she's been with have always had issues that she felt compelled to try and fix? I'm completely and totally mind blown by this. Never mind the fact that this guy can't hold a candle to me in so many ways, but seriously, how is it possible for a decent person to become emotionally involved with their best friends ex-husband, while in a "committed" relationship? What's more, we set a target date of moving in together before the holidays, just 2 wks before our "take a break" talk......I'm having a really difficult time handling all of this....to this day, she won't admit she's with him. I'm convinced she's either embarassed or ashamed or both by her actions? Myself and my entire family is pretty blown away by all of this. I really need some input, please!!!
NopeNah Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Cut ALL contact with her now. Don't answer her calls,texts,ect.. Fall off the face of the planet as far as she's concerned. Then begin living your life without her in it. It's the ONLY way!
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