Cora Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Hey guys, I was just curious if you all had any ideas or pointers for me? I haven't really been dating anymore. There were just more important things that needed to be done and are still being done really. I guess, I dunno, I just don't really go out anymore and have become quite a recluse. I don't even attend family functions anymore. And perhaps I really shouldn't be going out on dates at this point in my life. I don't know...the shy part of me just wants to hide and not be around people, but a part of me feels lonely and misses going out and having fun. Anyway, I met this guy and we have been emailing for a couple of weeks now. He seems nice, very respectful, has all these goals set out for himself, intelligent etc. He just really seems like an all around good guy. We have shared roughly 12-15 emails over two weeks and found out quite a bit about each other and what all we have in common etc. He has recently hinted around a bit the last couple of days and now he finally came out and just asked me if I would be comfortable with meeting? He said he thought we have shared some pretty good emails and said he's not really all that good with online communication. He says he thinks a public casual outing would be nice if I would be comfortable with that. And mentioned that his schedule isn't too hectic right now so pretty much any time that I choose to meet would work for him. The only thing is we both kind of got mixed up on where each other live I think....he mentioned, "the town you live in is over on the east side of such and such right?" Then he went on to say if so then we could meet halfway at such and such mall or we could meet downtown, though that would put you at a farther drive. Well, I'm actually not where he thinks I live. See on his profile he mentioned the general city he lives in which is only like 30 minutes away from me at most. I just had no idea he lives all the way on the other end of the city which is really almost an hour away. I think he just got mixed up because he just moved to this area not too long ago and I kind of live out in the country lol. I'm not in the city like him. I think it's only fair for us to meet halfway right? So I think I will suggest we meet on the north side....possibly at the mall there I dunno. Like I said, he mentioned doing something casual and not having any high expectations etc. I totally agree, and he has kind of left it up to me as to where I would like to meet him. Where are some good places to meet? What are some things to do on a first meeting that is casual yet possibly still fun? There is a Barnes and Noble accross the street from the mall and I was thinking we could maybe meet there instead? I guess all we could really do then is sit and talk, which of course would be fine for a first meeting I suppose. I'm just not sure. This will definitely be a daytime meeting and I think it shouldn't last no more than maybe two hours? What are your thoughts? Any ideas? In my next email I'm definitely going to ask if we could speak on the phone first which I don't think he will have a problem with at all. I dunno, at least this will get me out of the house I guess.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Cora - can I just say something? I like you as a person a lot. I think because your shyness and insecurity reminds me of me a lot. I tend to self-sabotage. And you just seem really sweet and kind-hearted. Are you READY to meet this guy? Like 100% ready? You don't feel pressured to do so? This is relaxed and the choice makes you feel good? I don't think B&N is such a bad idea...if they have like a Starbucks or coffee-shop thingy in there. But if you go that route, go with the mind of picking up some kind of book - it might help to spark conversation. But I think maybe the mall would be better because you guys could get up and walk around. Or who knows - if you decide B&N is getting boring and you wanna walk around, you can get up and go outside together to take a little walk. Any parks nearby? Don't think of it as dating. The guy sounds low pressure, I think that's perfect. Just go with the mind of making a new friend, a new contact for your personal "network." If you look at it this way, it takes the pressure off for something to develop and you realize there's no need to rush. Relax and enjoy.
Author Cora Posted October 19, 2009 Author Posted October 19, 2009 Thank you SoulSearch. You are such a sweet person. Other than a little bit of nerves, I do feel ready to meet this guy. He is kind of shy like me, well not as much. I just feel completely comfortable when I talk to him and he keeps telling me it's no rush, whenever I'm ready. I like that, and I like that he wants to keep this really casual. That really does take the pressure off of things. Yeah, like you said, I'm not going to look at this sort of thing as dating right now at all. I'm just looking forward to meeting someone interesting who I have been talking to for the past couple of weeks. I have also been thinking that the mall might be a better idea as well because when I actually have to sit down with someone in a place like a bookstore, it just makes me nervous for some reason. However, if we are actually walking and talking....I can handle that. lol
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