cooper101 Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 This is a fairly complicated situation. I used to go to school with this girl. I didn't really get to know her very well until she started to work at my place of work. Seeing as we started to work together we started to talk a lot more. Since she is a very pretty girl, she has been flirted with from many guys who we work with. I guess I should say now that this girl is a virgin (if that matters) and she has never been in a relationship before. It has been made pretty obvious that she does want a relationship. Now, all the guys that have flirted with her have been shut down in some way. Whether it has been because of age, being annoying, texting her all the time, not being outgoing enough, or not making a move, one of these reasons has always ended any sort of chance my co-workers have had. A couple months later, pretty much every guy at work has tried and failed with her. Yet me, still causally talking to her and not making anything out of it, is still hanging around. It wasn't until a week or so ago that I really found myself falling for this girl. I simply cannot get her out of my mind. I finally decided to ask her out to play some pool. She said she couldn't because of her busy schedule, but she totally wanted to. Sure enough, she texted me a couple days later and asked me to come over to her place to play some pool. Now before any of you guys say, OMG! THAT IS TOTALLY AN IN!!! know this. She has had numerous of the guys before me over to her place. It is pretty obvious that guys coming over to her house and meeting her parents is nothing major. I should note that when she introduced me to her parents, she introduced me as "Kevin, from Mobile Audio (the department I work at at work). We didn't really do much at her house except watch some TV and talk about how a bunch of other guys are frustrating her because they keep talking to her. Right now I am thinking that she really is oblivious to the whole love thing. I don't think she realizes that these guys are talking to her because they like her and that by inviting them over she is giving them the wrong idea. I just basically need a "next move." The afternoon after we hung out, I texted her thanking her for inviting me over, and she never replied. Do you guys have any idea what is going on here? And what could possibly going on inside her head? Please help!
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Not a ****ing clue. How about you ask her out on a date where there's some small chance for something romantic to develop if she's interested? Billiards at mommy and daddy's doesn't exactly make it easy to figure out if someone is into you. But really - with the comment about being "too busy" and then not texting you back after that little get-together. Hmmmmmmm. I'm wondering if this chick is just bored and she happened to remember you said you wanted to play pool, so you were her "Plan B." Never know, really, until you ask her out. And don't do it over text. You work together - just ask her to her face.
EcstasyX6 Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 How old are you and the girl? What makes you so sure she's a virgin?
Author cooper101 Posted October 19, 2009 Author Posted October 19, 2009 we are both 18. And I only know directly via her word.
Lucky_One Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 She just goes around and tells people she is a virgin in casual conversation? Yuck. Why is asking someone to come hang out at her parent's house leading someone on? She is only 18, and where else should she go to hang out with friends? If she was promising BJs in the backseat and then refusing to get in the car, then you could argue that she is leading someone on, but just an invite to come hang out? If you want to ask her out, ask her out. But prepare for a lot of questions and innuendo at work if you do date, as all the "rejected" guys will badger you for info. Don't fall into the typical 18 year old boy trap of bragging about what happens between two people.
memorygospel Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 From the sound of things it seems like you MAY have gotten yourself into the dreaded "friend zone" but I can't tell for sure. I'd just let things take its natural course for a little while but I wouldn't wait too long in making my move cuz the longer you wait the harder it is to make the transititon...trust me lol. Also try making your feeling towards her more obvious without actually saying anything, like flirt with her more and check her reaction.
Author cooper101 Posted October 21, 2009 Author Posted October 21, 2009 as was made obvious tonight, this girl is a crazed psychomaniac with little people skills and no self-awareness. Plenty of fish in the sea.
JustLooking123 Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 as was made obvious tonight, this girl is a crazed psychomaniac with little people skills and no self-awareness. Plenty of fish in the sea. What happened??!? Whatever it was, at least you know and can move on
WTRanger Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 (edited) Considering you posted the same question twice, you were at least at one time into this girl. Let me clue you in on something. When you meet someone and they immediately get on their soapbox about how they are so great, or a virgin, or so sweet, or nice, or loyal or anything else. Let that be a HUGE red flag. As you will find out in life, the more someone claims to be "nice, etc" the more chance it is they will actually turn out to be a real dick-wagons. Its a simple tact to try to convince themselves that they are indeed a good person and to try to convince you. Always, always look at a person's actions and not words. She says she nice, then bitches out the poor waiter? Yeah, what do you think she'll do to you first chance she gets? This girl going around splaying her "virginity" for the world is just doing it for attention. She knows by now that men are feeble humans who will just to about anything for first crack at her supposed virginity. She's at the age where she's learning the true power of the female body and the true stupidity of the male brain. Back when I was 18, if a girl coyly asked me to kill Gandhi, I would have. Not today though, thankfully I've learned the dangers of that through extreme hardship. By the way, what happened? Edited October 21, 2009 by WTRanger
Author cooper101 Posted October 21, 2009 Author Posted October 21, 2009 Well this is what happened. I asked her to a movie casually with some other people. I was planning on it being 4 of us. She said she would go. We were texting later that night and she got really rude to be to leave her alone. I am going to assume this was because she was stressed for midterms the next day. Anyways, tonight was the night for the movie. Still not having talked to her since she told me to leave her alone, I assumed she wouldn't show. It turned out she did. She rushed over from her vball practice (still in uniform) it was quite obvious she wanted to come. It ended up just being 3 of us. And even so, she didn't sit next to me at the movie. I then drove her home and the night ended. Obviously, my head is spinning again. I really should get this clear. I don't know first hand that she is a virgin. One of my friends used to be really close to her about 2 months ago and he told me he knows at that point she was. She is not going around telling everyone this. But at this point, everyone knows. As of right now, there is two guys who haven't gotten completely rejected. Me and this other guy named phil. Anyways, this Phil guy is one of the guys she complained about saying he was too pushy and wouldn't calm down and let her be. YET She calls him more than she calls me and they remain in contact. Which seems to be because of her, not because of his effort. With me, I have to initiate most of our conversations, not all, but most. Hopefully this clears some air. And FYI, I REALLY like this girl... and I do not know why. I just can't get her off my mind.
BG1985 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 I think you're in the friend zone. If she's complaining about other guys to you, she sees you as a friend and nothing more. She's using you as an "emotional tampon."
Left in a Lurch Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 As of right now, there is two guys who haven't gotten completely rejected. Me and this other guy named phil. Anyways, this Phil guy is one of the guys she complained about saying he was too pushy and wouldn't calm down and let her be. YET She calls him more than she calls me and they remain in contact. Which seems to be because of her, not because of his effort. With me, I have to initiate most of our conversations, not all, but most. She tells Phil how much you bother her too. She is playing a game. Sack up and call her on it. Tell her she pissed you off acting like an ass when you texted her the other night. Don't spend any money on her, it will be a waste. Then walk away because she is interested in Phil and playing you, and apparently made it clear she does not want to have a relationship with anyone. Lost cause.
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