Eisenhower Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 I know this sounds crass, but I need to talk about it. My girlfriend and I had a lot of stress in our relationship, primarily because she was recently divorced and had issues regarding that. At some point we both knew she wasn't really ready to be in a relationship but we were together 18 months when she finally threw in the towel. I'm crushed because I wanted to try to "solve" the problems we had, but she's just not strong enough. Two children too, who I loved, so it's very painful. Anyway, she and I had some things that made us less than ideal for each other - she's not a good communicator, conversationalist, etc., while I am. She's not "intellectual" or interested in stuff like that, while I am, etc. But the one thing we shared, besides a mutual love for the kids, was an AMAZING sex life. My God, both of us had never experienced anything like it and we knew it from the start - it's like we were made for each other and we even joked about "if we ever break up, I hope we can keep having sex." I know a huge part of my anxiety about this whole thing, besides being "dumped," is I'm afraid I'll never feel that same sexual attraction or find a girl as compatible in bed again. When she and I had sex, it was almost like a combination porno movie and religious experience! I know this is a childish thing, but it really worries me for the future. Can anyone relate? Eisenhower
Lamak Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 When she and I had sex, it was almost like a combination porno movie and religious experience! I shook my head and stopped reading here. Sex is sex. You'll most likely have some better sex in your life. Also I'll assume that you're still fantasizing about sex with her, stop it. It'll only delay the healing process.
Author Eisenhower Posted October 18, 2009 Author Posted October 18, 2009 Nah, I beg to differ man, sex isn't sex. If it was, this wouldn't be an issue for me. This was special. Eisenhower
Taucher Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 I feel similar Eisenhower. The sex with my ex was the best I have ever had by a long way. She said the same thing. I mean, I am 30 years old now and have a fair amount of experience in sexy sex (errr...) and there are some people with whom it just works. Amazingly. I too am worried about this. BUT, I was madly in love with her, so it could be that clouding the issue. Sex is always better with someone you are in love with, I think. And now I think that I have only ever really been in love once, with her. I guess when (if) I fall in love again, the sex will be just as good. I'm not ready to give anyone else a go on me yet. But when I do, I am going to HAVE to try and not compare this next person with my ex. T
Author Eisenhower Posted October 18, 2009 Author Posted October 18, 2009 Man, I know what you mean - I know (fear) I'll forever be comparing lovers to the ex. That's a depressing thought, indeed. At the risk of being a little more crass than I've already been, my ex was the first truly "multi-orgasmic" girl I've ever been with, and she swore she had never been like that with anyone else and seemed to be amazed by it. Besides making me feel like Superman, that also made me feel like we really had something special. I'm sure going to miss that.
CLC2008 Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 "Sex is sex", totally wrong (sorry). You have to experience that type of connection with someone in order to know. So OP, no I don't think it's crass. Its just one component in a RL, true. But it's an important one, like every other component in a RL, they all kind of go hand-in-hand I think.
J-Dad Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 I hear ya man! Completely understand about the sex. We had some major issues but sex was NEVER one of them, only not having it enough.
Omega3 Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I know this sounds crass, but I need to talk about it. My girlfriend and I had a lot of stress in our relationship, primarily because she was recently divorced and had issues regarding that. At some point we both knew she wasn't really ready to be in a relationship but we were together 18 months when she finally threw in the towel. I'm crushed because I wanted to try to "solve" the problems we had, but she's just not strong enough. Two children too, who I loved, so it's very painful. Anyway, she and I had some things that made us less than ideal for each other - she's not a good communicator, conversationalist, etc., while I am. She's not "intellectual" or interested in stuff like that, while I am, etc. But the one thing we shared, besides a mutual love for the kids, was an AMAZING sex life. My God, both of us had never experienced anything like it and we knew it from the start - it's like we were made for each other and we even joked about "if we ever break up, I hope we can keep having sex." I know a huge part of my anxiety about this whole thing, besides being "dumped," is I'm afraid I'll never feel that same sexual attraction or find a girl as compatible in bed again. When she and I had sex, it was almost like a combination porno movie and religious experience! I know this is a childish thing, but it really worries me for the future. Can anyone relate? Eisenhower You'll find another one. Possibly one that is even better, don't fret. In the meantime, play the field looking for that new one.
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