gypsi Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Okay so this really bothers me, my ex is still friends with ALL of her exes regardless of the **** they went thru even when we were togehter she would still hang out with the ex whom she left for me, now i bump in to her last night and she is with that ex again!!??? But she wont have anything to do with me??? I know i messed up and i honestly feel so bad and apologized to her a million times but she still treats me like a mentally insane person when her previous ex did even worse things than me? I am so confused, hurt, depressed i have no self worth anymore i feel like i am scum of th earth....am i honestly such a bad person? I cant get over this its thrown me into depression. She was so friendly to me last night after avoiding me for 3 months and not even texting me on my birthday. Not to be full of myself but i am honestly way more attractive and succesfull than her ex, the fact that she would rather spend time with him than me hurts like crazy. Why would she be friends with all of her exes besides me?? I dont get it.
Ronni_W Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Maybe. For some reason she thought that you were different from all her other exes, so when you ended up messing up...it hurt her worse than the pain she'd felt after her prior relationships ended. That is, the increased pain she's feeling after your break-up is why she can't be friends with you. Possibly. I know it's difficult not to take other people's decisions and choices personally, but that is the way out of your depressive thought patterns about this. Her decisions about who she chooses for her friends have nothing to do with you -- they are about what she believes will best keep her feeling safe and secure on the planet. (Not that her beliefs are necessarily conscious or accurate, just that you don't play any role in them.) You're confusing, hurting and depressing yourself with your own (false) beliefs that her actions are somehow tied to you or "should be" tied to you or are some indication of how she feels/doesn't feel about you. And also by comparing yourself unfavourably to her exes.
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