Soul Bear Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 I knew this would happen one day. My ex ex is trying to keep tabs on my life and elbow her way in. I give her nothing more than a limited friendship (she's lucky to even have that much being an ex of mine) But for the last 5 months she will text me and facebook me, if I don't reply she will send an even more 'hot' message to try and grab my attention, sometimes on my wall. Usually I just ignore them and don't reply, but I think it's driving her nuts with jealousy. She is a really attractive girl, but I just don't feel that way about her at all anymore. I know what she is playing at, and admitadly I find it mildly entertaining that she now wants what she can't have anymore. She text me yesterday to let me know that her and her ex ''are really over now'' and that she can't wait to catch up, wants to go to xxxx place with me bla bla bla. I just told her to take some time to herself, and get her sh*t together, then she will meet the right guy for her. Even tho she knows I'm sort of seeing someone right now (I'm a one woman kind of guy and she knows this too), she still trys to make plans for 'us' to do things together. Which I decline of course. Has this happened to anyone else? Did they leave you alone eventually?
Bejita463 Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 I've had similar, but once a relationship has proved to be a failure (regardless of the reason) I will not ever attempt to reenter it. I don't regret failed relationships, but I'm not in the habit of repeating mistakes either. Once that point is reiterated, it has seemed to do the job for me.
Bullydog1982 Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 SoulBear, I had a similar situation with a woman I was dating in my early 20’s. What it took was me going completely NC on her. This lead to her trying to show up or be wherever I was which was mildly entertaining…for a minute…but become more annoying than anything. One day she just randomly showed up at my apartment however; she happened to show up when the new woman I was seriously dating happened to be there (mind you I had already warned this new woman about her so she wasn’t caught off guard). Her visit lasted all of about 2 mins. Being young and dumb, I completely missed the subtle looks and body language both women displayed but I do remember the feeling of the hair standing up on the back of my neck and that feeling that a lightning bolt was about to hit me. After that day she didn’t bother with me again except for a goodbye e-mail she sent me the day before I moved to England. Hopefully it won’t come to that for you. I’d end this post with my usual be true to yourself, love yourself and go forward with your life but based on your previous posts this summer, you’re well on your way. Good luck! Bullydog1982.
Author Soul Bear Posted October 18, 2009 Author Posted October 18, 2009 (edited) Bejita- Thanks for that. Unfortunatly I have already stated that there is no going back to her. I'm an avid fan of NC too, but this relationship was 6 years ago and I bear no grudges, I'm happy to be her friend, sparingly, and give her advice,limited. when she needs it, but there will never be an 'us' again and there will never be a true friendship. BullyDog- That was a wonderful message, thankyou too for your response. I feel a bit harsh going NC, but I guess it's got to be done I am well on my way. And it's only because of people on LS that I managed to get into such a position to do so in the first place. Thanks for your reply's. I think that's all I needed to hear. Edited October 18, 2009 by Soul Bear
Art_Critic Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 How do I keep her away? Honesty in this case might be the easiest way I give her nothing more than a limited friendship This was in retrospect maybe part of the problem.. it opened the door for the what if's in her head. She is a really attractive girl, but I just don't feel that way about her at all anymore. You should tell her something along these lines.. Just make sure that you aren't mean to her.. I just told her to take some time to herself, and get her sh*t together, then she will meet the right guy for her. Keep it up.. this is the right thing to say too.. Good luck...
Author Soul Bear Posted October 18, 2009 Author Posted October 18, 2009 Thanks Art I have been honest and sincere with her. I guess I might have to be a little more direct....in a more laissez fair style. Thanks guys. Appreciate it, as always.
Bejita463 Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Bejita- Thanks for that. Unfortunatly I have already stated that there is no going back to her. I'm an avid fan of NC too, but this relationship was 6 years ago and I bear no grudges, I'm happy to be her friend, sparingly, and give her advice,limited. when she needs it, but there will never be an 'us' again and there will never be a true friendship. Actually I wasn't talking about NC specifically. I have not yet exited a relationship on less than civil terms. I tend to establish as early as is comfortable what my beliefs are about the future of romantic relationships once they end. A part of this is that I don't want a future SO getting the wrong idea over the fact I can (and sometimes do) speak to exes. Beyond that though, it is also so they know that if things end they will remain that way. If an attempt to reengage a relationship were made like you are describing, I probably would cut contact completely. However, I have had the good fortune that no such attempts have seriously been made. Maybe you are just irresistible. I personally combat this issue by maintaining a pungent odor of burnt hair and sour milk.
Author Soul Bear Posted October 18, 2009 Author Posted October 18, 2009 I personally combat this issue by maintaining a pungent odor of burnt hair and sour milk. :lmao: LOL I think it has to do with her being possibly insecure to some extent, needing validation, and wanting to know she still has the 'it' factor. Either way, Thanks for all your replys. I'll follow all your advice. SB
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