snazzmo Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 A few months ago, an old flame sent me an email. We were an item 10+ years ago, but I broke it off and moved on. He continued to email me from time to time, but I never replied until recently. We began an online/phone call relationship. We hit it off as before, and he told me about his situation. He is living with his 'best friend', a woman. He is completely dependent on her for everything, as he has no job and no income (never has worked, high school dropout). She is deeply in love with him, but he only feels friendship for her (so he says). He says she has accepted the emotional imbalance between them, and that there will never be more than friendship from him. Then it turns out that he's recovering from a love affair with a second woman. This affair lasted for several years and he was deeply in love, and lied about it to the woman he's living with because he 'didn't want to hurt her.' Which doesn't sound right to me, if she has accepted that they'll only ever be friends. Then he told me that he and the woman he's living with sleep in the same bed. And 'once in a while' they have sex. But my question is, how can they be 'just friends' if a) she doesn't feel that way at all and b) they share a bed and sex? And everything else in life, for that matter? I broke it off with him because it just didn't feel right. But was I wrong? Is he cheating on his roommate with me?
carhill Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 He's just not committed relationship material and is apparently a consumer of people. IMO, be glad he's an ex and assign him the due he deserves.
Soul Bear Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Drop this guy. He sounds like a jerk. Personally, It smells like trouble, but of course, you would be the best judge of character for that. Trust your gut..... PLUS- Why would you want to go back when you can go forwards???
imagine Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 I've got a BIL like this guy. He is a total jerk -Mr Narcissism. Some girls liked him but all of them got burned. And, oh yes, way-wards lie!!!
Author snazzmo Posted October 18, 2009 Author Posted October 18, 2009 Thanks very much for your feedback, it has helped me clarify the situation, and given me faith in my own perceptions.
Helena1984 Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 yes that is cheating... if your his lover and he's having sex with the woman he lives with that is cheating. He's only saying that he doesn't have feelings for her cause that's what you probably want to hear. I'm sorry, but he is with out a doubt bullsh*tting you. Anyone that has a relationship with someone and they're having sex with another it is cheating. Now it's entirely up to you rather you want to stay in touch with him or leave him.
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