gordon_gc Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 I'm curious to see and hear who ever got the ex back out of all the persons posting on that forum ? If so, why, how, and what's the situation now ? If I'm asking that question, it's more as a wake up call for everyone (and myself) to realise that all the pain we are going through now is not worth it. Even I have hopes I'll get her back even though I know there is a slim (or non-existent) chance of getting her back.
GrayClouds Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 I heard Adam and Eve worked tings out ofter the apple fiasco, other then that I suspect the rest of the stories of reuniting our urban legends. Serious it seems the few that do get back together, it is actually just an extended break-up. It seldom sticks.
JaggedRoad Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 My ex ran back to me after the second break-up. That was when I gave up all hope and she realized what she lost. But like GrayClouds said, it was more like an extended break-up that lasted 3 years -__-
Limbo21 Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 I got my girl back for a while ... She dumped me because I'm a knob (seriously) in may 09 and we split for about 8 weeks. In this time she joined a dating website and started talking to a dude in 2 days (she actually had blokes throwing themselves at her ... She's a stunning looking woman). We had LC to NC during this time & I felt suicidal as it was my fault. She asked for me back and I jumped at the chance 5 months later we split again and now I'm depressed (again my fault) Wish I knew michael j fox cos I'd bribe him to go back to the future
Limbo21 Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 (edited) Sorry double post Edited October 18, 2009 by Limbo21 Double post
RA1 Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 I broke up with my partner after many years together. After 3 years apart, we resumed our relationship because our time apart had showed us both we could not be happy with anyone else. There is no doubt in my mind that we will now always be together. 1
NSW768 Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 seems to me after scouring this site, if thhe guy dumps the girl he;ll come back 80% of the time. vice versa i would say 10-20% the girl comes back. sad really for me and a lot of dudes on here, but we have to accept that
symbol Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 I broke up with my partner after many years together. After 3 years apart, we resumed our relationship because our time apart had showed us both we could not be happy with anyone else. There is no doubt in my mind that we will now always be together. RA1, were you and your partner on NC during those three years? If so, who initiated the contact? Thank you!
RA1 Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 RA1, were you and your partner on NC during those three years? If so, who initiated the contact? She requested NC. I think I made occasional contact, like sending her birthday cards. (Also, I kept in touch with her daughter and she kept in touch with my children.) Then she made contact by phone in the middle of the night, distressed about something, and we spoke for hours and we both said how unhappy we had been without the other, and we agreed to try again.
tucker08 Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 After nearly a year of NC my ex and I got back together, the 2nd time around was actually a lot better as we both realised what we did and didnt want in the relationship and it made it stronger and more laid back. It is true that you we may break up again down the road, but who's to say if the extra time was worth it? Because right now I can honestly say I would not take back the last several months with him even if we were to break up.
Author gordon_gc Posted October 19, 2009 Author Posted October 19, 2009 After nearly a year of NC my ex and I got back together, the 2nd time around was actually a lot better as we both realised what we did and didnt want in the relationship and it made it stronger and more laid back. It is true that you we may break up again down the road, but who's to say if the extra time was worth it? Because right now I can honestly say I would not take back the last several months with him even if we were to break up. During the first BreakUp, where you the dumpee or dumper ? Sorry, I don't these terms but can't find any others. Why did you break up in the first place ? Did you apply strict NC during that year apart ?
tucker08 Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 During the first BreakUp, where you the dumpee or dumper ? Sorry, I don't these terms but can't find any others. Why did you break up in the first place ? Did you apply strict NC during that year apart ? I was the dumpee, we were together for a year and a half of which 7 months was long distance, he came home and about 2 weeks before he was to leave again he dumped me saying he just didnt want a girlfriend right now and that it was too hard to be apart and he didnt have it in him to maintain it. We spoke afterwards a few times over about 3 weeks but it became to painful for me so i just stopped and he never tried to contact me either. We literally did not speak for 6 or 7 months, I know we both kind of looked at eachothers facebook profiles and things like that, (he told me that when we got back together)..and we both saw other people but it didn't work out, and i mean how could it if you have someone else in your heart and mind. So we ran into eachother almost a year later and ended up back together and it was a much happier, healthier relationship.
Omega3 Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I've always managed to get the ex back atleast once. Usually leads to another breakup though.
Beeotch Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Haven't posted in a while...which is kind of good news as I am not relying on LS anymore to get me through. My 2 cents on this topic is: This question doesn't matter....the real question is...who actually WANTS their ex back after much time has passed? I think there are more people who do not want their exes back, even if they resurface, which is why a lot of people do not get back together. It is because you grow away from that person and realize that there is better out there so you don't want them back anyway. My previous ex before this came back after a year and nothing came of it...because I did not want him anymore so we went along our way. Now...I am about 98% over my ex, talking to a new prospect and my ex has been randomly texting me and saying all this stuff and I am at the point where I almost don't give 2 shyts and I can see in a couple more months where I will have no interest in him anymore. Soo based on that experience...I feel like it is easy to be worried about "will they ever come back?" when things are fresh in the first few months, but as time passes and as you do NC and deal with things...you care less and less about that question
hoping2heal Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I'm curious to see and hear who ever got the ex back out of all the persons posting on that forum ? If so, why, how, and what's the situation now ? If I'm asking that question, it's more as a wake up call for everyone (and myself) to realise that all the pain we are going through now is not worth it. Even I have hopes I'll get her back even though I know there is a slim (or non-existent) chance of getting her back. I have, several times. Except, when they did come back I didn't want them anymore. Not one of them. When I couldn't be with them I could see no color in anything. I cried myself to sleep many nights and there was hardly anything I couldn't imagine I would give up just to have them back. Then, with time there would come an ultimate realisation; what am I doing? No really, what am I doing? Sitting here in agony and pain everyday willing to sacrifice my favorite every and anything to the Gods just to have him back when..what the hell? What has he done for me lately? I mean jeez, the guy doesn't even think I'm a suitable match for him. That said, with time I could also see why they didn't want to be with me, because we weren't a right fit for eachother and it doesn't make any of them bad guys just because they realised it earlier than I did. Now, one of them was a real dickhead for the way he dicked me around when he realised this, but he just has some growing up to do. I would be lying with a bold face to say boy, I sure have handled things the wrong way a lot in my past and I was in need of growing up several times. Hey, I'm still in need of it but I've come a long way. By the time they'd come back I'd grown from that relationship and either knew they didn't have what I wanted now, or was with someone else where still, they couldn't offer what I'd needed or wanted anymore. I can say that all of my breakups were for the best, and even the exes that came back I'm sure in time learned the valuable lessons they needed to so they can apply them to future relationships.
tucker08 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Haven't posted in a while...which is kind of good news as I am not relying on LS anymore to get me through. My 2 cents on this topic is: This question doesn't matter....the real question is...who actually WANTS their ex back after much time has passed? I think there are more people who do not want their exes back, even if they resurface, which is why a lot of people do not get back together. It is because you grow away from that person and realize that there is better out there so you don't want them back anyway. My previous ex before this came back after a year and nothing came of it...because I did not want him anymore so we went along our way. Now...I am about 98% over my ex, talking to a new prospect and my ex has been randomly texting me and saying all this stuff and I am at the point where I almost don't give 2 shyts and I can see in a couple more months where I will have no interest in him anymore. Soo based on that experience...I feel like it is easy to be worried about "will they ever come back?" when things are fresh in the first few months, but as time passes and as you do NC and deal with things...you care less and less about that question Not always the case though, I know when my ex came back nearly a year later my feelings had not changed in the least
Author gordon_gc Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 seems to me after scouring this site, if thhe guy dumps the girl he;ll come back 80% of the time. vice versa i would say 10-20% the girl comes back. sad really for me and a lot of dudes on here, but we have to accept that Not sure if this is accurate but yeah, overall, it seems like when the girl is the dumper, she rarely comes back...not sure why tho
NSW768 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Not sure if this is accurate but yeah, overall, it seems like when the girl is the dumper, she rarely comes back...not sure why tho me neither. seems like once their mind is made up, its made up. guys usually come back a lot of the times i would say because of sex and lonliness. women can take themselves away from that and can pretty much get sex whenever they want and dont seem to get as lonely when they have a better support system. my ex did this **** to me last year and came back. she never officially said it was over last year though but said a lot of the same things. thats why im finding it hard to stop hoping. ::sigh::
Author gordon_gc Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 me neither. seems like once their mind is made up, its made up. guys usually come back a lot of the times i would say because of sex and lonliness. women can take themselves away from that and can pretty much get sex whenever they want and dont seem to get as lonely when they have a better support system. my ex did this **** to me last year and came back. she never officially said it was over last year though but said a lot of the same things. thats why im finding it hard to stop hoping. ::sigh:: The better support system is a major reason i think...it helps them making up their mind and more importantly, sticking to it !
Tayla Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 One guy I dated in High school, he broke up right before graduation. Twelve years later we dated. (nothing beyond dates out to clubs, concerts), then he left to do a military tour. Three years later, comes back, we date again for 1 year, and This time he didnt have an excuse to leave, I did. I broke up with such joy. Turns out he couldn't get past his nose in a conversation. I just needed to experience a vain person in order not to reside with one. He even asked weeks later what caused it , He couldnt fathom that his arrogance took up the whole room.
D-Lish Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Many people I have dated have come back at some point. Usually by the time they have, I have sooooo moved on that it didn't matter anymore.
bluewolf17 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I am a girl and dumped my guy back in Feb/09. I regretted it right away. After about three days, I begged for him back. He said no. We had been together 3.5 years. He kept in contact with me. He always would contact me after I went NC MANY TIMES. He could never make up his mind if he wanted me back. At a certain point, I realized I got dumped , I just made the choice before he could. After 7 months apart, he finally got it together, contacted me, and told me how much he wanted me back, how he has changed, how I have changed. Things are great now. So SO MUCH BETTER THAN BEFORE! That time apart realy showed me what I had, and what I forgotton I had. But it its going to work, BOTH people must want it 100% and takes the steps to fix old problems.
Northwesthunny Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Me and my ex split up for the first time last year - he is in the army and based away from me so it was a LD relationship. He called to say that he loved me too much and it was killing him that he couldnt see me and talk to me when he wanted to. A few days later we go back together. It was perfect the 2nd time round, we felt stronger. But in June this year he called me from afghanistan telling me he couldnt do it - no excuses why just that he couldnt do it anymore. So i got him back but then a yr down the line it happend again, who is too say that everytime you get back with someone it will lead to another brake up - not every relationship is the same.
Omega3 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Not sure if this is accurate but yeah, overall, it seems like when the girl is the dumper, she rarely comes back...not sure why tho Everytime I've been dumped, I got them back. My latest Ex, I'm trying to get back for a second time. The one time I dump a girl, she runs off and gets married. Still married, so haven't managed to get her back...
NopeNah Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Yeah.. I've ALWAYS been able to get back a girl that broke up with me. None have ever lasted that long afterwards so, why even bother trying? Once that "feeling"/trust is gone it's near impossible for it to last(for me at least). Much better to start fresh with someone else with zero negative history.
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