Nikki Sahagin Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 So I know that quite common advice after the initial break-up period, is to get yourself back out there, go out with friends, drink, dance, flirt, be easy-going, be footloose and fancy free. But i've been struggling with this for a while now - I HATE clubbing. I go now & again & sometimes I DO enjoy myself. However in general I find the environment so false. Its just a load of people dancing (mostly badly) to music, alcoholed up to the eye-balls. I think I may be a bit of a snob but I do just find something very fake about the entire thing, "look at me i'm having such a good time, look how much I can drink!". Well last night me and a group went to a club. I would put it down to the club but honestly it is our experience with all clubs. Its like a meat market. It does NOT make me feel better about being single, looking at all the elligable bachelors and bachellorettes. When I was in my relationship, I used to appreciate him MORE after clubbing because the quality and standard of the men was so low. Now that i'm single, its like I just don't have the patience for this farce. It was full of old men, 'ghetto' boys & just general chavs....who get in your personal space 5 seconds after you 'meet' them, grab you, pinch you, think 'oi' or 'buffting' is a suitable way to start talking to you and are either blatantly obvious perverts or the even more offensive, manipulative pervert; "i'm different, all the guys in here are perves" all the while groping his hand around your bottom. Meanwhile the girls are all half-naked, gyrating like they are at a strip club while all the old perves just move from girl to girl hoping to find one drunk, horny or desperate enough to give them a chance. GOD IT WAS SUCH A BAD NIGHT. And it filled me up with this bitter, depressed feeling. I was happy. I had a guy I loved. Now I see a room full of losers and I think...i'll always be alone. I know clubbing is NOT the place to meet guys, i've always known that, but it did depress me the way guys spoke to us, acted around us....it just made me 'hate' men for a brief while (of course not all). I think clubbing is OFF the agenda as part of my recovery process. It just leaves me feeling really down about the dating scene.
costablanca Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 i remember thinking and feeling like you the first time my ex broke up with me, one particular time i found myself in a dark corner blubbering, looking at exactly what you decribe and realising this was now my future. i so wanted my ex to just come back and take me in his arms and rescue me from this singledom hell i was forced to take part in. infact in the last fours years of being back together (we split for the last time about a month ago) i continued to feel the same and didn't even enjoy going out clubbing together as a couple. probably down to the fact that my ex seemed to enjoy it for all the reasons i hated it for. and also it reminded me of how clubbing had led to him meeting somone for who he dumped me for the first time round, which hurt sooo much. this time round i hav'nt been out yet. im just not interested at all. pulling is the last thing on my mind and that seems to be what clubbing is all about.
GrayClouds Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 So I know that quite common advice after the initial break-up period, is to get yourself back out there, go out with friends, drink, dance, flirt, be easy-going, be footloose and fancy free. But i've been struggling with this for a while now - I HATE clubbing. I go now & again & sometimes I DO enjoy myself. However in general I find the environment so false. Its just a load of people dancing (mostly badly) to music, alcoholed up to the eye-balls. I think I may be a bit of a snob but I do just find something very fake about the entire thing, "look at me i'm having such a good time, look how much I can drink!". Well last night me and a group went to a club. I would put it down to the club but honestly it is our experience with all clubs. Its like a meat market. It does NOT make me feel better about being single, looking at all the elligable bachelors and bachellorettes. When I was in my relationship, I used to appreciate him MORE after clubbing because the quality and standard of the men was so low. Now that i'm single, its like I just don't have the patience for this farce. It was full of old men, 'ghetto' boys & just general chavs....who get in your personal space 5 seconds after you 'meet' them, grab you, pinch you, think 'oi' or 'buffting' is a suitable way to start talking to you and are either blatantly obvious perverts or the even more offensive, manipulative pervert; "i'm different, all the guys in here are perves" all the while groping his hand around your bottom. Meanwhile the girls are all half-naked, gyrating like they are at a strip club while all the old perves just move from girl to girl hoping to find one drunk, horny or desperate enough to give them a chance. GOD IT WAS SUCH A BAD NIGHT. And it filled me up with this bitter, depressed feeling. I was happy. I had a guy I loved. Now I see a room full of losers and I think...i'll always be alone. I know clubbing is NOT the place to meet guys, i've always known that, but it did depress me the way guys spoke to us, acted around us....it just made me 'hate' men for a brief while (of course not all). I think clubbing is OFF the agenda as part of my recovery process. It just leaves me feeling really down about the dating scene. Maybe I just enjoy a good rant,,,but I think I just feel for you:love: Reminds of a The Hold Steady Song "Two Handed Handshake": You dress like contestants At some desperate pageant You fall asleep in your makeup You wake up with a blemish Girls, you're gonna find someoneYou don't have to rush it You're too young to force your crushes You don't have to rush it You're too young to fake your crushes Guys, I'm pretty sure that we can put it back together And girls, you gotta try to be nice to one another
contax Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 So I know that quite common advice after the initial break-up period, is to get yourself back out there, go out with friends, drink, dance, flirt, be easy-going, be footloose and fancy free. But i've been struggling with this for a while now - I HATE clubbing. I go now & again & sometimes I DO enjoy myself. However in general I find the environment so false. Its just a load of people dancing (mostly badly) to music, alcoholed up to the eye-balls. I think I may be a bit of a snob but I do just find something very fake about the entire thing, "look at me i'm having such a good time, look how much I can drink!". Well last night me and a group went to a club. I would put it down to the club but honestly it is our experience with all clubs. Its like a meat market. It does NOT make me feel better about being single, looking at all the elligable bachelors and bachellorettes. When I was in my relationship, I used to appreciate him MORE after clubbing because the quality and standard of the men was so low. Now that i'm single, its like I just don't have the patience for this farce. It was full of old men, 'ghetto' boys & just general chavs....who get in your personal space 5 seconds after you 'meet' them, grab you, pinch you, think 'oi' or 'buffting' is a suitable way to start talking to you and are either blatantly obvious perverts or the even more offensive, manipulative pervert; "i'm different, all the guys in here are perves" all the while groping his hand around your bottom. Meanwhile the girls are all half-naked, gyrating like they are at a strip club while all the old perves just move from girl to girl hoping to find one drunk, horny or desperate enough to give them a chance. GOD IT WAS SUCH A BAD NIGHT. And it filled me up with this bitter, depressed feeling. I was happy. I had a guy I loved. Now I see a room full of losers and I think...i'll always be alone. I know clubbing is NOT the place to meet guys, i've always known that, but it did depress me the way guys spoke to us, acted around us....it just made me 'hate' men for a brief while (of course not all). I think clubbing is OFF the agenda as part of my recovery process. It just leaves me feeling really down about the dating scene. I feel what your saying. My ex used to go clubbing all the time - met a random new group of friends...I left her and she rebounded with one of them. I remember times where she used to be so bored with it too. I'm happy I left her cause she was like a club girl. I'm not with that. Although I do enjoy going to cool clubs, for the music and fashion. To socialize, not to pick up people or drink.
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