Dem Posted December 3, 2003 Posted December 3, 2003 Ok i need help desperately. I started seeing this guy around the end of september, almost exactly one month later he asked me to officially be his girlfriend. The thing is, when we were just 'seeing' each other he was sooooo unbelievably sweet, for example he turned up on my doorstep one night that my parents were away in a full black suit with champagne in one hand and fresh strawberries in the other. I felt so special throughout the month and we saw each other loads. But since i've been officially his girlfriend i've seen him less and less, like once every 2 weeks. I asked him if he thought in reality that he had time for me and he said he'll try because he doesn't want to be without me. So we planned to go to the same club last friday, he sent me loads of messages saying how much he couldn't wait to see me, then he saw me once that night, for about 15mins then the rest of the night when we'd bump into each other he'd always say he was looking for someone. After the club i told him i was a bit upset about it, he acted annoyed and then sent me messages that night telling me he didn't want o be with me anymore. I didnt want this to happen by messages so foned him in the morning and he acted as if nothing had happened. Seems he had forgotten that he broke up with me! When i reminded him of what he said he finally rememberd and decided he didnt mean it, but the next day (sunday) he was acting weird so i asked what was wrong, he said he's been thinking about the relationship again and he's sorry, he knows he's an a**h***. He was thinking about whether he wanted to be in a relationship, nothing to do with me he said. Anyway, today he tells me he decided he wants to be in a relationship with me and give us another chance. Is this guy just messing me about? Should I end it with him? Im so confused. PLEASE HELP.
Abdel Posted December 3, 2003 Posted December 3, 2003 Try to face him on his real feelings toward you. Does he really love you? If so, then he has to face his responsibilities for this relationship to grow for both of you. If you are not convinced,however, you have no option but to walk away from it. Try to do that as quickly as possible. Either way you are a winner.
moimeme Posted December 4, 2003 Posted December 4, 2003 Give him a chance. ONE chance. If he blows it, then you'd do better without him, given this story you've told.
PurpleAngel Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 He sounds to be all over the place if you ask me, I’d sit back a little and see how much he really cares or wants to see you. If he writes you silly messages like breaking up with you over SMS, DON’T call him. If he is a decent person he should be calling you. You want to see how he behaves now.. so let him do his thing. Don’t call, organise meetings, look for him at clubs, LET HIM COME TO YOU! Sounds like he is not in a very mature place at the moment, and doesn’t seem to care if he makes you feel bad or treats you without respect, and I suppose I wouldn’t really want someone like that in my life. PLUS you have to remember, your relationship is at its very early stages, he should still be all lovey dovey… wanting to see you, do romantic things and make you feel nice. He has to work at keeping you, you shouldn’t be gluten for punishment. You deserve to be treated like a princes, not ignored and treated like a fool.
Colleen Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 give everything a chance to work itself out, see how everything goes. as for the lack of suprises and stuff ..it is because in the begining they are still tying to impress you, once they have you..they tend to be less sweet and giving..who knows why but, it happens! good luck
daphne Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 Dem, You could give him one last chance but honestly, I think this guy doesn't know what he wants. He's a pursuer and now that he believes he has you he's probably going to start treating you like ****. Sorry, but I've seen this many times before. This type of guy will do everything to sweep you off their feet so you're in some sort of hypnotic state and will put up with who they really are which is usually not very palateable. Expect for this guy to cheat and mess with your head. I would bet good money on it. The only thing you can do to combat this type of behavior which is called the "love em and leave em syndrome" is to NEVER BE CONVINCED by someone who is trying hard to convince you he's the one. sorry and hope it works out for you.
SoleMate Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 Actions count. In this case, his actions make it clear he does not have much time for you. In fact, some of what he has done to his supposed "gf" is downright insulting. Everybody has to decide their own standards for what they will accept, and what they won't. You can read in LoveShack about some people who have VERY low standards for how their SO should treat them - and how they treat their SO. I myself couldn't handle a so-called bf who did not have time for me.
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