Eclypse Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 The other night I was out with my friend and we caught the late night bus home. Sitting a few rows away from me was this girl. She kept looking at me and then glancing away when I looked back at her, but would then resume staring at me. She smiled at me every now and then too, and I swear she winked once, but about that I am not sure; perhaps she had a mote of dust in her eye. I'm pretty sure she was into me, but of course I can't be sure. Knowing me and my luck I was probably seeing stuff that wasn't there. I just completely froze up. Had no idea what to do. Part of me wanted to just get up and go to her seat and say "I saw you looking at me before, I'm Paul" or something to that equivalence and then we have a nice conversation and swap numbers. But another part of me saw me doing that and her replying "Errr.... no" and making me feel like the biggest doofus. Maybe if the bus didn't have so many people... I dunno... it just feels like I have some kind of social anxiety when it comes to these situations. I quite often see hot people on the train / other public transport but wouldn't have a clue how to approach them. Has anyone ever actually got any dates from this anyway? I usually relax more around people I know, and it becomes easier for me. Trouble is by then, I'm usually well into the friend zone =/ We got off the bus before her and I felt more inadequate than I usually do. Don't really have a question here, just ranting i s'pose.
IrishCarBomb Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." -Wayne Gretzky The Great One is wise.
boogieboy Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 It takes some sacrifice to start approaching women, but this is how you ease into it. You cant get attached to anyone while doing this, or the outcome. This is just an exercise in approaching women. 1.) Just start walking up to women and saying "excuse me, I saw you and just had to see what youre like (add some light compliment like - I noticed "You have great style" - long as its appropriate and not over the top or corny - tailor to fit her situation) Thats it, you dont continue it from there - you say good day and walk away. (unless a good conversations starts of course) Youre only doing this to get used to the idea that some women will stop for you, some of them wont. When you reframe it in your mind as "I know some of them wont stop, and some of them will lok at me funny, im just seeing how they react when I stop them", it will be easier to accept the negative outcomes. After doing this a few times, it will be nothing to walk up to strange women. But also remember, when youre walking up to them, dont stare, dont make a B-line for them, it has to look like you didnt plan it. Get it? 2.) Once you get used to approaching them and not caring about the outcome, and youre not anxous anymore, then you work on the next step - which is continuing the conversation after you stop them.
TheLoneSock Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." -Wayne Gretzky The Great One is wise. That says it all. Fearlessness goes a long way.
bac Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 If you want to pick up girls at public places, you should be realistic about accepting rejection. In other words, you do not know anything about those hot strangers who you want to pick up, so it is normal that you are going to be rejected. It has nothing to do with you. It would happen to any hot guy. Sometimes, by chance, you may meet a girl who is looking forward to being picked up. If you want a girl, you may want to go to dating sites where all girls are looking for a man for sure. So, you can pick up as many as you can handle girls there.
TheLoneSock Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Personally I find the mini adrenaline rush you get from approaching girls in public pretty addicting. Sometimes I do it even if I'm in no way interested. I'm kind of a junky like that; maybe it's that I like the challenge too. So I guess reveling in the adrenaline/challenge is a good way to look at it- try thinking of it that way and see if it helps you out.
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