lastnight Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 I've been with my gf since march of this year, this is our second shot we got back together after she broke it off a few days before christmas last year, which was one of the lowest points in my life. She's 18, i'm 23. Things have been great until about 3 weeks ago when she started a new college course. She's become distant, and just doesn't really seem to care anymore. I think she's scared to be the one to call things off again after last time and how much she fought to win back the love especially as i was with somebody new around this time. I just don't know what to do, we've had some heart to hearts in the last week and every time she says she is unsure that she loves me but is prepared to try, but doesn't. Am i driving her further away, i just don't want to be unhappy and this is slowly but surely breaking my heart. Help. x
Exit Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 If you feel that she's becoming distant and isn't making an effort, there isn't much you can do. If you've taken the time and effort to communicate your feelings and concerns to her (which is the adult thing to do) and you just don't see any changes happening, you may need to be the one to end it this time. You need to love yourself enough to realize when you aren't being given what you need or want. She sounds a little confused if she's the one who fought to get you back and now seems distant again. A new college course is no excuse. All you can do is make it clear that you are unhappy enough to consider leaving the relationship if it doesn't improve. Once you've done that, either you both work on making it better, or you decide it isn't working.
Author lastnight Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 But what do you do when you're still so in love with the person but not how they are acting at this time. Is it even possible to walk away and end the relationship if you still love them? x
ladymistique Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Hi lastnight, Exit is right, you need to love yourself more by not decreasing your standards in a relationship. Thus, if your requirement is love and your girlfriend is unable to give you that, you need to walk away. If you stay, you will find yourself more miserable and with no self-esteem in the long run. In regards to your last question, yes, it is possible to walk away even when you are still in love with somebody. It is hard as hell and will hurt like crazy in the short term but the strides you will make in terms of knowing that you deserve better will cushion you later. Trust me. I was in a situation in which I had to leave someone I loved deeply because he was not in love as much and even went so far as to start something with someone else. He did not appear to want to break up with me, however. I had to pull the plug because it was either stay with him, accept things I told myself I would never accept (and probably have him eventually leave anyway) or leave and free myself up for something better. In my opinion, the relationship you have with yourself is more important than the one you have with someone who is not fully in it. Good luck and hugs!
Recommended Posts