CandyGirlXO Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 I really need help here. Do you think I am overreacting? Here is what happened. I was sick tonight so I am home. My BF of almost 1 year texted me that he had a huge headache and for me to get some more rest. Then about a half an hour later a friend of his said on facebook that they were out to dinner. Ticked me off a little because he made it sound like he coundn't talk to me because he wasn't feeling too well. But he went out to dinner. Then just now I found out that they went to go see a movie that HE KNEW I wanted to see. I am just hurt now. His b-day is tomorrow and we just got back from a very expensive vacation that I took him on. Am I over reacting in being upset about this?
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 I wasn't "ticked" uuuuuuntil I saw the part about the movie. Now that's just jacked up. The whole headache pizzazz and now I'm at dinner - that wouldn't have bothered me. Whatever. Maybe he didn't want to bother you while you're sick. It honestly wouldn't have been a big deal - whatever. But the movie thing...and after the trip...and it's his b-day tomorrow (good possibility a movie could be involved). Now that was just inconsiderate. I wouldn't go ape-**** on him, but some kind of explanation would be oh-so-kindly-requested.
xpaperxcutx Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 He could have at least made you chicken soup. I once went all the way to the next borough at night on the when I heard my ex bf was sick. But my situation is probably different since I'm a girl and I care more. Your bf going to dinner is alright, but I would be offended by him going to the movies without you.
J-Dad Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Chill. Although I am a guy, hear me out. he may of just wanted to get out. Lying about it was not cool at ALL. Dont overreact, but you might want to take a step back and look at what is really going on with him.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Chill. Although I am a guy, hear me out. he may of just wanted to get out. Lying about it was not cool at ALL. Dont overreact, but you might want to take a step back and look at what is really going on with him. Cool. Get out. But why pick a movie that he KNOWS she wants to see, and he goes and sees it on a night she's at home - sick?
Author CandyGirlXO Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 Chill. Although I am a guy, hear me out. he may of just wanted to get out. Lying about it was not cool at ALL. Dont overreact, but you might want to take a step back and look at what is really going on with him. Yeah thats the thing, I really wouldn't say he lied about it. He didn't tell me what he was doing at all. So he never lied about anything. I am just trying to chill. I am debating on whether or not I should bring it up to him, or if I should just say tomorrow night, hey lets go see that movie.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 He could have at least made you chicken soup. I once went all the way to the next borough at night on the when I heard my ex bf was sick. But my situation is probably different since I'm a girl and I care more. Your bf going to dinner is alright, but I would be offended by him going to the movies without you. Yeah thats nice of you, unfortunately he could not do that, I live with my parents. We are planning on moving in together in month. Him going to the movies without me doesn't bother me, just this because its a movie that he knows I wanted to see. Thats all. Geeez I feel like I am sounding ridiculous right now! See thats my problem. I have had A LOT of LTR and I am trying so hard to just let small things go and choose my battles wisely. I don't want to keep making the same mistakes.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 Cool. Get out. But why pick a movie that he KNOWS she wants to see, and he goes and sees it on a night she's at home - sick? Yeah I agree.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 Actually it is, but that doesn't bother me at all, because they have been best friends for over 10 years, and I know her. Not to be mean but she is not attractive at all, and her BF is also HIS friend too. They are all friends. So no big deal to me.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 Anyone else? Here is the problem. I would bring it up but he doesn't know that I know. So I was just going to say to him one night, hey lets go see that movie.
J-Dad Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Lay low. It may sound shady, but do some snooping if you feel that he is snooping. Dont throw this in his face or it may blow up in yours.
xpaperxcutx Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 You could look at this another way. Has he done anything of the sort like this before? Go do something alone he knows you want to do with him? If this was the first time , I would let it slide, considering blowing up on him over something as trivial as a movie would seem kind of pointless. Afterall it is a movie, and there will always be movies you want to watch. You have to know when to pick your battles, and also when not to start one where winning it is pointless, you know?
Author CandyGirlXO Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 You could look at this another way. Has he done anything of the sort like this before? Go do something alone he knows you want to do with him? If this was the first time , I would let it slide, considering blowing up on him over something as trivial as a movie would seem kind of pointless. Afterall it is a movie, and there will always be movies you want to watch. You have to know when to pick your battles, and also when not to start one where winning it is pointless, you know? Now that I think about it, he did do something similar before, and I let it slide. He knew I wanted to go do something that we have never done before, and we went with his cousins. He didn't even know about it, until I told him! Yeah that hurt, and I let it go. Geez now I don't know. Here is the problem. I don't want to make this into a big deal, and make him think I am over reacting, or think that he is unhappy with me. But I guess by me not bringing it up, it is making me unhappy. I have no idea what to do.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 Lay low. It may sound shady, but do some snooping if you feel that he is snooping. Dont throw this in his face or it may blow up in yours. No I don't think he is doing anything shady. I am just hurt that he went and saw a movie that he knew I wanted to go see. Thats all. I know he isn't cheating. He probably just isn't thinking.
J-Dad Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 I don't want to make this into a big deal, and make him think I am over reacting, or think that he is unhappy with me. If it makes you feel unhappy and betrayed you in any way it is a big deal. Just think about it though...
xpaperxcutx Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 He probably just isn't thinking. I think you answered your own question.
torranceshipman Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 It's kindamean that he didn't want to take care of you when you were sick...he knew he was out of order because he lied about going out. You should tell him u knew he went out andwhy lie?
Vertex Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 He probably wasn't really thinking -- just didn't consider that you wanted to see it. I'd just bring it up again and try to go see it with him. If it was a good movie, I'm sure he wouldn't mind seeing it twice
PandaStillLovesBunny Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Yes, he probably just wasn't thinking -- why would he do it on purpose? -- but that's kind of the point, isn't it? He SHOULD be thinking of her. Perhaps not to the point of sacrificing himself for her, or being a complete doormat; but he should at least remember that this movie was important to her. I had an ex like this, too, who knew that I wanted to go somewhere, and then went without me and told me that it wasn't great. AUGH, THANKS A LOT, BUTTMUNCH. But I digress.
Jilly Bean Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Gee, Candy. Maybe he lied to you about going out, because he knew if you told you in advance, you'd react like, well, like you are NOW. lol Guys in relationships lie about their whereabouts for a few reasons: 1 - they are cheating 2 - they no longer care what you think 3 - they feel hen-pecked and controlled 4 - they need space Personally, I think he lied to you because he felt like with you sick, he had a free pass for the night to go out with a buddy, and he didn't want to have to listen to you complain that you were home sick, and what was he doing going out without you? That's my guess. Should you be tweaked? Sure, but before you start pointing fingers, I'd start with your thumbs.
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