How to catch a hot guy?

[Awesome Username]

Horses for courses. If a man asks you out after playing along with your bad cliche and that is important to you then go for it. For you it would be 'foolproof'.

 

I'll stick to internet dating :D:D

 

 

 

Yeah, because internet dating isn't full of exaggerations and games, false photo angles and putting a fishing line out to hook 'em!

[justforfun]

Yeah, because internet dating isn't full of exaggerations and games, false photo angles and putting a fishing line out to hook 'em!

 

Actually it's not. I've found it to be genuine women and men who are looking to meet someone and have found that by joining a dating site they have more opportunity to do so.

 

Most people post a few pictures so that you can get a good look at them first. You're more likely to go on a date with them if you can actually see what they look like. Less pics = less dates.

 

What I put out there is an honest representation of myself. But then I actively approach men. My profile isn't just sitting there waiting for a hit. I message men and get a conversation going and decide if I would like to meet them.

 

But, that's what works for me. As I said...horses for courses.

[CaliGuy]

I will certainly respect him for coming up and having the balls to do so. One thing I would never do is be rude and make him think that he's doing anything wrong.

 

That being said, if it's just a "hello, my name is Jim. You live around here? wow, neat. Hey, can I get your number?" I will likely politely say I have a boyfriend, but I appreciate his asking.

 

I can see why you'd say that. But understand, when you're in line in the grocery store you don't have a lot of time. This last girl I went out with I did ask for her number in line (but I was funny/charming, as I always am, lol) Of course I got her number! Asking for numbers quickly can be based on the situation as well.

 

If he asks if I want to go to a specific coffee place or whatever after we've had a conversation for more than three minutes, I'll probably exchange numbers and see if I want to take it from there. What I will do is give him an avenue to talk a little bit about himself, what he likes, what I do, etc. I will give him the time if he cares to share his time with me.

 

Ok, I'll buy this. I understand you want to chat a little. If there is time to do it then this makes a lot of sense.

 

But to answer your question, no, I will not give my number to every guy who just says hello. I want to know who is calling me, and I would prefer to at least remember a little bit about every name in my phone.

 

I didn't say EVERY guy I said guys you are interested in by SHOWING your interest

[Awesome Username]

I can see why you'd say that. But understand, when you're in line in the grocery store you don't have a lot of time. This last girl I went out with I did ask for her number in line (but I was funny/charming, as I always am, lol) Of course I got her number! Asking for numbers quickly can be based on the situation as well.

 

 

 

Ok, I'll buy this. I understand you want to chat a little. If there is time to do it then this makes a lot of sense.

 

 

 

I didn't say EVERY guy I said guys you are interested in by SHOWING your interest

 

Oh, I see. I answered slightly incorrectly.

 

If I'm in a rush somewhere or something's happening and we only have one second to talk, chances are hugely that I will say I have a boyfriend, but thank you very much for your interest. There might be an exception, like if he's hilarious or clever or "QUICK! WE MIGHT NEVER SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN!!!" I might give the number out then.

 

The reason being is that...let's say, a guy asks you for your number once a day. Sure, if he gives a sec and is cool and nice and had the balls, by all means. But pretty soon your phone is full of guys you don't know, and you get calls from random ass "Bookstore John" and you think to yourself, "Who the Heck is this guy?" Pretty soon, you don't want to fill the phone with guys and you have to be more selective. If I lived in a smaller town, maybe it wouldn't be this way but in an urban setting you learn to be selective.

 

I hope that answered your question.

[Sam Spade]

I have a fun little trick that I pull when I see a cute guy, and just want to flirt for a minute or two.

 

When you're at a store and you randomly see a cute guy, grab the nearest kind of heavy and visible item and huck it onto a high shelf. After you make it look like you cannot possibly reach it, find the guy and say:

 

"Hi, this is really embarrassing...but there is a can of juice (or whatever) that I want...it's my favorite juice and I can't reach it. Can you please help me?" Make sure you have cute girl mode on.

 

This is foolproof because if he's too special to help a poor, defenseless you with your juice than he's a jerk, and likely to not be a helpful person in your dating future if it gets that far. It's a nice way to weed out dense lazy guys.

 

If you're really impressed with how he's handled the situation, Mr. Cute rescues your unreachable juice and shown unwavering bravery in the process, reward him with being super happy about it. "YAY JUICE!" When really in your mind, you're saying "YAY helpful guy!" Even if nothing happens and no numbers are given, you can feel like you're special enough to be helped and he can feel like supermarket superman. Guys are more helpful when their little efforts are appreciated. They deserve it, after all!

 

I'd just spank you to give you the extra boost/acceleration needed to reach the juice.

[boogieboy]

If you go up to a guy and say hi and flirt with him openly, the direction is in his ballpark. He'll be excited and flattered but there is no pursuit on his part. I've done this before many times, as I am more or less a dominant woman. I would still be the cold initiator if the event called for it and I felt like it would be a good idea, but if I can have him come to me instead I'll prefer that.

 

If you are smart enough to get a guy to come up to you as the initiator, he impresses you, and craves the feeling of being looked upon favorably again, it's in your ballpark. I've done "hello" both ways and my way favors the lady.

 

Ah yes, its actually the way its supposed to go, unfortunately. This is why after I do the initiating, I let the woman initiate all the contact, then the ball is back in my court!

[Awesome Username]

I'd just spank you to give you the extra boost/acceleration needed to reach the juice.

 

 

Now we're talkin'.

[CaliGuy]

Oh, I see. I answered slightly incorrectly.

 

If I'm in a rush somewhere or something's happening and we only have one second to talk, chances are hugely that I will say I have a boyfriend, but thank you very much for your interest. There might be an exception, like if he's hilarious or clever or "QUICK! WE MIGHT NEVER SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN!!!" I might give the number out then.

 

The reason being is that...let's say, a guy asks you for your number once a day. Sure, if he gives a sec and is cool and nice and had the balls, by all means. But pretty soon your phone is full of guys you don't know, and you get calls from random ass "Bookstore John" and you think to yourself, "Who the Heck is this guy?" Pretty soon, you don't want to fill the phone with guys and you have to be more selective. If I lived in a smaller town, maybe it wouldn't be this way but in an urban setting you learn to be selective.

 

I hope that answered your question.

 

Hmm I take a different approach. They have to EARN their way into my phone. Just because we exchange numbers doesn't mean that you get automatically added to my "speed dial" list.

 

It's not until I get to know them that they are added to my phone. This is exactly for the same reason you said. I don't want my phonebook to be full of people I don't know or aren't a friend. Ya know?

 

I guess what I am saying is if one has earned their way onto my cell phone list I already consider them a friend.

 

As for the speed thing, you can always exchange email addresses. That way if he's a 'tard you can just block his emails

[CaliGuy]

I'd just spank you to give you the extra boost/acceleration needed to reach the juice.

 

Better spank hard enough to get her off the floor.

[Trialbyfire]

While this is true to some degree, it doesn't explain how a less than hot guy/girl can get and keep a very hot guy/girl. I think personality accounts for much more than looks overall.

 

Looks I think creates the initial attraction but personality, IMHO, is overwhelmingly more important. You are spending enormous amounts of time with this person. Being hot is a relative term because we're all going to lose our looks, for the most part, as we age.

 

But personalities are TIMELESS and last a lifetime -- and a great personality can make an average person LOOK hot to someone else. Catch my drift?!

I never had any problems understanding what you're saying but happen to disagree with it.

 

No matter how "great" your personality is, if the physical chemistry isn't there, it ain't gonna' happen. Of course looks are subjective and it doesn't have to be that the person fits exactly right, your idealized physical look. Some things are wants and not needs.

 

For example myself, I prefer tall, dark and handsome. But if he's an arse, he's out. But if he's a great guy, then he's in. That's why my man is in, since he cranks me in all ways; physical, intellectual and emotional chemistry. He feels the same way about me, hence why he pushed so hard to get things moving forward.

[CaliGuy]

I never had any problems understanding what you're saying but happen to disagree with it.

 

No matter how "great" your personality is, if the physical chemistry isn't there, it ain't gonna' happen. Of course looks are subjective and it doesn't have to be that the person fits exactly right, your idealized physical look. Some things are wants and not needs.

 

The reason I disagree is because I see it pretty often. Short guys with tall girls, ugly guys with hot women (and vice versa). What I am saying is it HAS to be more than looks. I am saying that if the looks aren't all there then it usually happens when you are around that person often (ie: Work, Social functions, etc).

 

I mean, I have some friends that just aren't good looking (or even tall -- and if they saw me posting this they'd smack me) and they all have hot wives simply because their PERSONALITIES are outstanding -- which is why we're friends. They have very attractive personalities.

 

For example myself, I prefer tall, dark and handsome. But if he's an arse, he's out. But if he's a great guy, then he's in.

 

Same goes for me as well. I mean she can be drop dead gorgeous but if she's a b*tch I don't waste my time with her. I'm going through that now with a girl I've been out on a few dates with. Initially she was sweet but has shown that's really a front she has put up to try and hide the fact that in reality, she's a pain in Rs.

 

I can totally understand this.

 

That's why my man is in, since he cranks me in all ways; physical, intellectual and emotional chemistry. He feels the same way about me, hence why he pushed so hard to get things moving forward.

 

Ah but see, I'm of the opinion the relationship should be balanced and therefore, if I have to *push* anyone hard to go out with me then something is wrong. I just feel like people should be up front about what they want in a relationship. I'm terrible at relationship "games". It's not that I refuse to play them, I just don't know how because it's not in my nature to do so.

 

But back to the original topic here, I think personality is way under-valued. Many people who are extremely hot think that is all they need to get by -- which is why they are single. Trust me. A good looking person with a great personality is probably not single (or they are gay! LOL).

[The Collector]

Personality does go a long way. A friend of mine is a male model, all the girls fancy him at first sight - then lose interest quite quickly because he's a bit boring and doesn't have enough sexiness to his personality. I also know a short plain looking friend who does pretty well with the women because he is outrageously cocky and funny. Both are about equal in their social status which is another big factor.

 

Then again, there are lots of women who will prioritize walking down the street with the male model than the short guy.

[Johnny M]

Same goes for me as well. I mean she can be drop dead gorgeous but if she's a b*tch I don't waste my time with her.

But what if she was really nice and intelligent, but ugly? Would you waste your time with her? Somehow I doubt it.

 

People always say: oh but I see ugly men with beautiful women (and vice versa) all the time. Yes, we all see such couples. And the reason they are so noticeable is because they are out of the norm. It's true that some people settle for partners who are not in their league in terms of physical attractiveness. This happens for various reasons....it can be money, it can be that they are passive and accept whatever falls on their plate rather than actively searching fro the best possible match. Poor social skills (i.e. shyness, aloofness, bad manners, etc.) may also make it difficult to get an equally attractive partner.

[Isolde]

Cali, I think what TBF is saying is that interpersonal attraction is important, and as you said, attraction isn't about looks for everyone, all the time. I don't think you two disagree on this point.

 

Whether strong instant attraction, is a predictor of attraction down the line, has been debated many times on LS and I don't think there's one rule that fits all R's. Of course, if you're repulsed by someone attraction can't just be built, but if it's borderline, sometimes it can grow over time.

 

Generally, people that are suited to one another, tend to be drawn to one another in some way. It's not really something that needs to be analyzed, because it often doesn't really make sense.

Edited October 20, 2009 by Isolde

[wierdmunky]

My relationships have been long term, and I've never picked by looks a lone. Personality can add or take away from looks also, so for me if the whole package isn't attractive your not attractive. I'm not huge on what their body looks like. I don't spend all day just looking at the person, and attraction goes both ways for chemistry. So, if a guy (hot or not) has more than one cute girl going after him, which one is he going for?

 

I kinda like the whole trying to pick up on a guy by asking him to get something on a high shelf thing. I think it's a cute icebreaker, and doesn't sound like too much work ; P if things spark from that why not?

[AD1980]

But what if she was really nice and intelligent, but ugly? Would you waste your time with her? Somehow I doubt it.

 

People always say: oh but I see ugly men with beautiful women (and vice versa) all the time. Yes, we all see such couples. And the reason they are so noticeable is because they are out of the norm. It's true that some people settle for partners who are not in their league in terms of physical attractiveness. This happens for various reasons....it can be money, it can be that they are passive and accept whatever falls on their plate rather than actively searching fro the best possible match. Poor social skills (i.e. shyness, aloofness, bad manners, etc.) may also make it difficult to get an equally attractive partner.

 

 

But youre talking extremes of looks lets be honest 98% of the population we see everyday isnt a 10 or a 2..The majority of people u see in general in terms of looks are a little below or above average..

[CaliGuy]

Personality does go a long way. A friend of mine is a male model, all the girls fancy him at first sight - then lose interest quite quickly because he's a bit boring and doesn't have enough sexiness to his personality. I also know a short plain looking friend who does pretty well with the women because he is outrageously cocky and funny. Both are about equal in their social status which is another big factor.

 

That's all I'm saying...

 

Then again, there are lots of women who will prioritize walking down the street with the male model than the short guy.

 

Those are women, who much like men, think with the wrong body part.

 

But what if she was really nice and intelligent, but ugly? Would you waste your time with her? Somehow I doubt it.

 

I would never say never, because I have dated women others didn't think were hot simply because she had a great personality.

 

People always say: oh but I see ugly men with beautiful women (and vice versa) all the time. Yes, we all see such couples. And the reason they are so noticeable is because they are out of the norm. It's true that some people settle for partners who are not in their league in terms of physical attractiveness. This happens for various reasons....it can be money, it can be that they are passive and accept whatever falls on their plate rather than actively searching fro the best possible match. Poor social skills (i.e. shyness, aloofness, bad manners, etc.) may also make it difficult to get an equally attractive partner.

 

While most of this may be true, I am adamant about the fact that personality+confidence is more important for long term happiness than money, looks or power.

 

Cali, I think what TBF is saying is that interpersonal attraction is important, and as you said, attraction isn't about looks for everyone, all the time. I don't think you two disagree on this point.

 

Whether strong instant attraction, is a predictor of attraction down the line, has been debated many times on LS and I don't think there's one rule that fits all R's. Of course, if you're repulsed by someone attraction can't just be built, but if it's borderline, sometimes it can grow over time.

 

Generally, people that are suited to one another, tend to be drawn to one another in some way. It's not really something that needs to be analyzed, because it often doesn't really make sense.

 

True that. All I have said, time and time again, is that personality will often override looks. You still have to get to the point where you can dig down into someone's personality though and the opportunities don't come as often if you aren't attractive. Then again, just taking care of yourself and dressing/grooming well can go a long way

 

My relationships have been long term, and I've never picked by looks a lone. Personality can add or take away from looks also, so for me if the whole package isn't attractive your not attractive. I'm not huge on what their body looks like. I don't spend all day just looking at the person, and attraction goes both ways for chemistry. So, if a guy (hot or not) has more than one cute girl going after him, which one is he going for?

 

I kinda like the whole trying to pick up on a guy by asking him to get something on a high shelf thing. I think it's a cute icebreaker, and doesn't sound like too much work ; P if things spark from that why not?

 

Whatever works for you

 

But youre talking extremes of looks lets be honest 98% of the population we see everyday isnt a 10 or a 2..The majority of people u see in general in terms of looks are a little below or above average..

 

The majority of people are between a 3 and 7. People in the 8-10 range tend to lack personality and rely on their looks. People in the lower end of the ranges who have success have a great personality and confidence.

 

I don't care how you look. If your personality and/or confidence is lacking, you're not going to have healthy, fun, lasting relationships.

[AD1980]

 

 

 

While most of this may be true, I am adamant about the fact that personality+confidence is more important for long term happiness than money, looks or power.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't care how you look. If your personality and/or confidence is lacking, you're not going to have healthy, fun, lasting relationships.

 

I agree with that most people arent gonna be with someobdy very long whos a total bore or ahole just because they look good..Dont get me wrong some are proably sueprficial enough to but not very many..

 

All looks do is get your foot in the door easier and if your into one night stands probably get you more of those in a bar or club scene where its hard to really get to know somebody anbd initial attraction is huge..

[Jerry18]

 

Dating is pretty much a game, if you think about it. You go through trying to say hi to someone, spend money and try to figure out what you're going to wear, judge what you can and can't order on the menu, make small talk and think about whether or not you might kiss the person at the end of the night or if you can possibly see a future with the person. Meanwhile you're munching on pasta and trying not to drink too much....etc. Sure, it would be easier for me to say on the spot "Hey, how are you with kids? any diseases in your family? Are you broke? Want a wife?" but that's no fun, is it?

 

The way I see it, if a guy is creative enough to have a good excuse to talk to me it means that he made the effort to be cool and available at the same time. I'd be flattered. The OP asked if there was a way to be "cool, yet available" and this is how I know how to do it.

 

*Oh and Caliguy, yeah, this is to figure out if he's dateable. :3

 

This is a game where Bernie Madoff and politicians excel at.

 

My point is that being "good" at the game and impressing you in it, doesn't really correlate to him being a good boyfriend.

 

An analogy would be using a chess game to interview a high school art teacher.

 

I thought the "fun" part is when the couple goes on trips and have fun together. For me, and probably most men, your so-called " game" is simply a painful transaction cost to get something more rewarding.

 

Personality does go a long way. A friend of mine is a male model, all the girls fancy him at first sight - then lose interest quite quickly because he's a bit boring and doesn't have enough sexiness to his personality. I also know a short plain looking friend who does pretty well with the women because he is outrageously cocky and funny. Both are about equal in their social status which is another big factor.

 

Then again, there are lots of women who will prioritize walking down the street with the male model than the short guy.

 

But men without the good looks won't even get a chance to show their personality. The hot guy with the bad personality won't get second dates, but not-so-hot guys won't even get first dates!

Edited October 20, 2009 by Jerry18

[wierdmunky]

But men without the good looks won't even get a chance to show their personality. The hot guy with the bad personality won't get second dates, but not-so-hot guys won't even get first dates!

 

 

Exactly!

This goes for girls too, and but everyone will always say, "you don't want this kind of guy anyway." So what about those hot people, will they stay in that bubble of bad personalities?

[Johnny M]

But youre talking extremes of looks lets be honest 98% of the population we see everyday isnt a 10 or a 2..The majority of people u see in general in terms of looks are a little below or above average..

I suppose so....But this thread is called "how to catch a hot guy", not "how to catch an average guy". A typical hot guy would have zero interest in dating a girl who is slightly above or below average.

[boogieboy]

Exactly!

This goes for girls too, and but everyone will always say, "you don't want this kind of guy anyway." So what about those hot people, will they stay in that bubble of bad personalities?

 

No because even hot people desire certain other people and dont want to make past mistakes, so even they have to alter things about them to be happy. But any people have their choices of who they treat properly and who hey dont.

[You'reasian]

Because it would be obvious that you're hitting on him and probably want a date. At that point, you're only judging on his outward appearance. The juice test allows you a peek into his mind, since actions speak louder than words. This is just something that I do, because I value chivalry and secretly kinda want a superhero. It's awesome because in a way it's like me initiating a mini date RIGHT NOW.

 

You say you want chivalry....

[You'reasian]

Am I the only person in this bloody country that DOESN'T play those stoopid games?

 

No mate, I don't either. I'm direct - yes it scares women away, but you want a brave unpretentious woman. They're the best.

Edited October 22, 2009 by You'reasian

[Tayla]

I personally use oven mitts to catch em!

 

Otherwise I dont go out of my way to *snag*,catch, coerce or reel in a Hot man. To me that is equivalent to High maintenance....that just isn't my style. Just seems devaluing.....