Soul Bear Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 In other words, looks are a necessary but not sufficient component of a woman's overall attractiveness. . Yes. I guess I'm still growing and learning and like to shout sometimes
Awesome Username Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Just wondering. How to do you make yourself look less available but available? I know good looking people can have their pick so any tricks to look more appealing?? ˆ-ˆ This is just for flirty fun, or in hopes to get a future guy friend (who is hot) I have a fun little trick that I pull when I see a cute guy, and just want to flirt for a minute or two. When you're at a store and you randomly see a cute guy, grab the nearest kind of heavy and visible item and huck it onto a high shelf. After you make it look like you cannot possibly reach it, find the guy and say: "Hi, this is really embarrassing...but there is a can of juice (or whatever) that I want...it's my favorite juice and I can't reach it. Can you please help me?" Make sure you have cute girl mode on. This is foolproof because if he's too special to help a poor, defenseless you with your juice than he's a jerk, and likely to not be a helpful person in your dating future if it gets that far. It's a nice way to weed out dense lazy guys. If you're really impressed with how he's handled the situation, Mr. Cute rescues your unreachable juice and shown unwavering bravery in the process, reward him with being super happy about it. "YAY JUICE!" When really in your mind, you're saying "YAY helpful guy!" Even if nothing happens and no numbers are given, you can feel like you're special enough to be helped and he can feel like supermarket superman. Guys are more helpful when their little efforts are appreciated. They deserve it, after all!
Awesome Username Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Oh, and if he's short, find something he can help you open instead of help you reach. lol!
CaliGuy Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I have a fun little trick that I pull when I see a cute guy, and just want to flirt for a minute or two. When you're at a store and you randomly see a cute guy, grab the nearest kind of heavy and visible item and huck it onto a high shelf. After you make it look like you cannot possibly reach it, find the guy and say: "Hi, this is really embarrassing...but there is a can of juice (or whatever) that I want...it's my favorite juice and I can't reach it. Can you please help me?" Make sure you have cute girl mode on. This is foolproof because if he's too special to help a poor, defenseless you with your juice than he's a jerk, and likely to not be a helpful person in your dating future if it gets that far. It's a nice way to weed out dense lazy guys. If you're really impressed with how he's handled the situation, Mr. Cute rescues your unreachable juice and shown unwavering bravery in the process, reward him with being super happy about it. "YAY JUICE!" When really in your mind, you're saying "YAY helpful guy!" Even if nothing happens and no numbers are given, you can feel like you're special enough to be helped and he can feel like supermarket superman. Guys are more helpful when their little efforts are appreciated. They deserve it, after all! LOL. Now that is FUNNY. Why wouldn't you just smile, make eye contact and say hello?! To me, that's all you have to do to let a guy know you are interested. If he doesn't return the smile, eye contact and spark up a conversation, he's too insecure to deserve a date!
Awesome Username Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 LOL. Now that is FUNNY. Why wouldn't you just smile, make eye contact and say hello?! To me, that's all you have to do to let a guy know you are interested. If he doesn't return the smile, eye contact and spark up a conversation, he's too insecure to deserve a date! Because it would be obvious that you're hitting on him and probably want a date. At that point, you're only judging on his outward appearance. The juice test allows you a peek into his mind, since actions speak louder than words. This is just something that I do, because I value chivalry and secretly kinda want a superhero. It's awesome because in a way it's like me initiating a mini date RIGHT NOW.
Rooster_DAR Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 You may get more hits on the beer aisle, I think most guys would be more than happy to oblige the juice test.
boogieboy Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Because it would be obvious that you're hitting on him and probably want a date. At that point, you're only judging on his outward appearance. The juice test allows you a peek into his mind, since actions speak louder than words. This is just something that I do, because I value chivalry and secretly kinda want a superhero. It's awesome because in a way it's like me initiating a mini date RIGHT NOW. This is totaly unnecessary. Theres no need to go into this whole elaborate scheme with a guy. All you have to do is say hi and introduce yourself so the situation isnt made ambiguous. Guys dont work with hints, by doing this, youre making the situation ambiguous and a regular guy wont read this right if he is caught off guard. Guys dont think like you do, they dont worry about women only approaching them because of an outward appearance. Guys dont get women walking up to them every day saying "oh you look soo handsome today" so its not a problem to a man. The real reason you do this is to avoid rejection if you just go straight up to a guy and say hello. Many women wont risk direct rejection.
Awesome Username Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 This is totaly unnecessary. Theres no need to go into this whole elaborate scheme with a guy. All you have to do is say hi and introduce yourself so the situation isnt made ambiguous. Guys dont work with hints, by doing this, youre making the situation ambiguous and a regular guy wont read this right if he is caught off guard. Guys dont think like you do, they dont worry about women only approaching them because of an outward appearance. Guys dont get women walking up to them every day saying "oh you look soo handsome today" so its not a problem to a man. The real reason you do this is to avoid rejection if you just go straight up to a guy and say hello. Many women wont risk direct rejection. My issue isn't whether or not I'll be able to attract a guy and have him interested. My issue is whether this cute guy is worth the time. It's a scheme for a reason, and if he can't pass such a simple test of "did his momma teach him well?" then there are more fish in the sea. All dating is is finding out whether the other person would be good for you, right? The dating ritual is one big scheme. I'd rather find out if he's a miser at the store than out on a date when I've bothered to get fixed up!
Trialbyfire Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 The best way to "catch" a hot guy is to not bother. Let him "catch" you.
boogieboy Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 My issue isn't whether or not I'll be able to attract a guy and have him interested. My issue is whether this cute guy is worth the time. It's a scheme for a reason, and if he can't pass such a simple test of "did his momma teach him well?" then there are more fish in the sea. All dating is is finding out whether the other person would be good for you, right? The dating ritual is one big scheme. I'd rather find out if he's a miser at the store than out on a date when I've bothered to get fixed up! That test doesnt mean anything, most guys will help out a pretty woman who asks, most guys are chivalrous, most guys mommas taught them well. That doesnt mean he isnt a player or a wifebeater. All youre doing is starting the backdoor games from the get-go with silly tests. Im pretty sure if you just went up to him and said Hi, you can tell by talking to him immediately if you liked who he is without the games. I still think you do this scheme to avoid instant rejection, not to test for chivalry. Weirdmunky, just go up to the guys and say hi and introduce yourself.
CaliGuy Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 (edited) Because it would be obvious that you're hitting on him and probably want a date. At that point, you're only judging on his outward appearance. The juice test allows you a peek into his mind, since actions speak louder than words. This is just something that I do, because I value chivalry and secretly kinda want a superhero. It's awesome because in a way it's like me initiating a mini date RIGHT NOW. All initial attraction is based on outward appearance. A simple test, if it works for you is fine. Honestly, I feel it takes about 4-6 dates to start to paint between the lines of someone's personality. I have a good example which, after my meeting in a few minutes, I am going to post about. But honestly, if the guy is super hot, confident, secure and emotionally healthy, he's either gay or taken My issue isn't whether or not I'll be able to attract a guy and have him interested. My issue is whether this cute guy is worth the time. It's a scheme for a reason, and if he can't pass such a simple test of "did his momma teach him well?" then there are more fish in the sea. All dating is is finding out whether the other person would be good for you, right? The dating ritual is one big scheme. I'd rather find out if he's a miser at the store than out on a date when I've bothered to get fixed up! Again, this takes 4-6 dates to figure out if anyone is "worth the time". The juice test is cute but I don't think it's a good enough test overall. Maybe enough to decide to actually go out on a date but not enough to say someone is worth your time. The best way to "catch" a hot guy is to not bother. Let him "catch" you. Meh, that works sometimes. If he's hot and thinks your hot, he'll catch you. If he doesn't think you're all that hot, but you make up for it with a super-attractive personality then YOU will need to show him why he should be interested in you. Passive people always end dateless on the weekends Edited October 19, 2009 by CaliGuy
C-i-C-u Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 There. The clock starts! where is the picture?
Trialbyfire Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Meh, that works sometimes. If he's hot and thinks your hot, he'll catch you. If he doesn't think you're all that hot, but you make up for it with a super-attractive personality then YOU will need to show him why he should be interested in you. Passive people always end dateless on the weekends If he doesn't think you're hot, then it's not worth it to try to catch him. Physicality does matter at the outset and through long-term relationships. An overwhelmingly good personality isn't enough to keep the home fires burning. From my own experiences for viable relationships, both of you have to believe the other is the cat's meow and not just from a look's perspective.
Awesome Username Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 (edited) That test doesnt mean anything, most guys will help out a pretty woman who asks, most guys are chivalrous, most guys mommas taught them well. That doesnt mean he isnt a player or a wifebeater. All youre doing is starting the backdoor games from the get-go with silly tests. Im pretty sure if you just went up to him and said Hi, you can tell by talking to him immediately if you liked who he is without the games. I still think you do this scheme to avoid instant rejection, not to test for chivalry. Weirdmunky, just go up to the guys and say hi and introduce yourself. This may be different for other people, but I've had people I've never met before just come up and say "hi" and stand there, and it's really awkward because then suddenly I have to ask them who they are, why they are there, if I know them and put up a protective barrier. It's kind of like when someone comes up to you and says "Hey, you're a cute guy!" Or "You're pretty!" I say that to people when I'm about to walk out of somewhere or if I'll never see them again, because what do you say after that? "Um, thank you." and then you have to play games and make excuses to talk to each other and avoid the awkwardness of a compliment given too soon. A few people can pull it off well but they have to be really funny and talkative. Dating is pretty much a game, if you think about it. You go through trying to say hi to someone, spend money and try to figure out what you're going to wear, judge what you can and can't order on the menu, make small talk and think about whether or not you might kiss the person at the end of the night or if you can possibly see a future with the person. Meanwhile you're munching on pasta and trying not to drink too much....etc. Sure, it would be easier for me to say on the spot "Hey, how are you with kids? any diseases in your family? Are you broke? Want a wife?" but that's no fun, is it? The way I see it, if a guy is creative enough to have a good excuse to talk to me it means that he made the effort to be cool and available at the same time. I'd be flattered. The OP asked if there was a way to be "cool, yet available" and this is how I know how to do it. *Oh and Caliguy, yeah, this is to figure out if he's dateable. :3 Edited October 19, 2009 by Awesome Username
boogieboy Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 The OP said wants a way to "look" flirty, but she doesnt actually want to DO anything. She still wants the guy to approach her. Im not saying go up to a guy with nothing to say, of course if you approach someone you have to have something to talk about. Even with your approach, after he hands you the can, you still have to think of something to talk about. You can only thank him for his chivalry for so long. If you walk up to him directly, without the test, you still have the same situation of awkwardness with nothing to say. We all know dating is a game...ugh and it sucks. Like I said before, no one should be given a compliment as an opener, you just walk up and start a conversation. You women dont understand how easy you have it that you arent expected - by guys - to come up with a subtle diversion to talk to a guy. You can just be direct and a guy would appreciate it because guys dont get approached often. But youre all too chicken to do it! Many women are tossing their hair and trying to get guys the want to notice, like the OP, but they refuse to say "hi". Youre setting up your own barriers unnecessarily, and its really ridiculous. Im pretty sure that this lil "test" of yours, for the guys it worked with, you could have just gone up to those same guys, smiled and said "Hi! Im awesome username" and then start conversing about whatever. I'm glad it works for you, but I really think youre scheming more than necessary. I'd like to know what you did to approach a guy BEFORE you came up with the test, and what your results were. You cant meet ALL your guys in the supermarket. To be honest, if I think of your scenario played out, it would seem kind of clownish to me. I've had that happen to me and it made me laugh. I'd think "she could have just said hi, she didnt need to go though all this". But I accept it. I'd think shes silly, but I know that women wont risk rejection, so I look past it. I'd then be suspicious of what other games she might play that might be a pain in the ass down the line. I dont shoot a woman down if she doesnt know what to say after Hi, because I know approaching someone in the first place is tough enough. A little awkwardness is nothing to write a person off for.
Awesome Username Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 The OP said wants a way to "look" flirty, but she doesnt actually want to DO anything. She still wants the guy to approach her. Im not saying go up to a guy with nothing to say, of course if you approach someone you have to have something to talk about. Even with your approach, after he hands you the can, you still have to think of something to talk about. You can only thank him for his chivalry for so long. If you walk up to him directly, without the test, you still have the same situation of awkwardness with nothing to say. We all know dating is a game...ugh and it sucks. Like I said before, no one should be given a compliment as an opener, you just walk up and start a conversation. You women dont understand how easy you have it that you arent expected - by guys - to come up with a subtle diversion to talk to a guy. You can just be direct and a guy would appreciate it because guys dont get approached often. But youre all too chicken to do it! Many women are tossing their hair and trying to get guys the want to notice, like the OP, but they refuse to say "hi". Youre setting up your own barriers unnecessarily, and its really ridiculous. Im pretty sure that this lil "test" of yours, for the guys it worked with, you could have just gone up to those same guys, smiled and said "Hi! Im awesome username" and then start conversing about whatever. I'm glad it works for you, but I really think youre scheming more than necessary. I'd like to know what you did to approach a guy BEFORE you came up with the test, and what your results were. You cant meet ALL your guys in the supermarket. To be honest, if I think of your scenario played out, it would seem kind of clownish to me. I've had that happen to me and it made me laugh. I'd think "she could have just said hi, she didnt need to go though all this". But I accept it. I'd think shes silly, but I know that women wont risk rejection, so I look past it. I'd then be suspicious of what other games she might play that might be a pain in the ass down the line. I dont shoot a woman down if she doesnt know what to say after Hi, because I know approaching someone in the first place is tough enough. A little awkwardness is nothing to write a person off for. If you go up to a guy and say hi and flirt with him openly, the direction is in his ballpark. He'll be excited and flattered but there is no pursuit on his part. I've done this before many times, as I am more or less a dominant woman. I would still be the cold initiator if the event called for it and I felt like it would be a good idea, but if I can have him come to me instead I'll prefer that. If you are smart enough to get a guy to come up to you as the initiator, he impresses you, and craves the feeling of being looked upon favorably again, it's in your ballpark. I've done "hello" both ways and my way favors the lady.
CaliGuy Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 If he doesn't think you're hot, then it's not worth it to try to catch him. Physicality does matter at the outset and through long-term relationships. An overwhelmingly good personality isn't enough to keep the home fires burning. From my own experiences for viable relationships, both of you have to believe the other is the cat's meow and not just from a look's perspective. While this is true to some degree, it doesn't explain how a less than hot guy/girl can get and keep a very hot guy/girl. I think personality accounts for much more than looks overall. Looks I think creates the initial attraction but personality, IMHO, is overwhelmingly more important. You are spending enormous amounts of time with this person. Being hot is a relative term because we're all going to lose our looks, for the most part, as we age. But personalities are TIMELESS and last a lifetime -- and a great personality can make an average person LOOK hot to someone else. Catch my drift?! The way I see it, if a guy is creative enough to have a good excuse to talk to me it means that he made the effort to be cool and available at the same time. I'd be flattered. The OP asked if there was a way to be "cool, yet available" and this is how I know how to do it. *Oh and Caliguy, yeah, this is to figure out if he's dateable. :3 So if he approaches you in a grocery store, introduces himself, says hello, makes small talk and asks for your number, isn't that a good thing? After all, he had the cohonies to come talk to you in a public setting without fear of being rejected. Tells me a lot about a person. Now if YOU ask him to help you, that's a different story. Again, it's how to approach a hot guy. I don't think you need a test that early but everyone is different.
Johnny M Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Because it would be obvious that you're hitting on him and probably want a date. At that point, you're only judging on his outward appearance. The juice test allows you a peek into his mind, since actions speak louder than words. This is just something that I do, because I value chivalry and secretly kinda want a superhero. It's awesome because in a way it's like me initiating a mini date RIGHT NOW. LOL. Any guy, even a total @sshole, would help you get that juice because it's such an easy thing to do and it would be too socially awkward to say no. Its like asking the time...have you ever had anyone refuse to tell you what time it was?
Awesome Username Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 While this is true to some degree, it doesn't explain how a less than hot guy/girl can get and keep a very hot guy/girl. I think personality accounts for much more than looks overall. Looks I think creates the initial attraction but personality, IMHO, is overwhelmingly more important. You are spending enormous amounts of time with this person. Being hot is a relative term because we're all going to lose our looks, for the most part, as we age. But personalities are TIMELESS and last a lifetime -- and a great personality can make an average person LOOK hot to someone else. Catch my drift?! So if he approaches you in a grocery store, introduces himself, says hello, makes small talk and asks for your number, isn't that a good thing? After all, he had the cohonies to come talk to you in a public setting without fear of being rejected. Tells me a lot about a person. Now if YOU ask him to help you, that's a different story. Again, it's how to approach a hot guy. I don't think you need a test that early but everyone is different. I will certainly respect him for coming up and having the balls to do so. One thing I would never do is be rude and make him think that he's doing anything wrong. That being said, if it's just a "hello, my name is Jim. You live around here? wow, neat. Hey, can I get your number?" I will likely politely say I have a boyfriend, but I appreciate his asking. If he asks if I want to go to a specific coffee place or whatever after we've had a conversation for more than three minutes, I'll probably exchange numbers and see if I want to take it from there. What I will do is give him an avenue to talk a little bit about himself, what he likes, what I do, etc. I will give him the time if he cares to share his time with me. But to answer your question, no, I will not give my number to every guy who just says hello. I want to know who is calling me, and I would prefer to at least remember a little bit about every name in my phone.
justforfun Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 We all know dating is a game...ugh and it sucks. Am I the only person in this bloody country that DOESN'T play those stoopid games?
Awesome Username Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 LOL. Any guy, even a total @sshole, would help you get that juice because it's such an easy thing to do and it would be too socially awkward to say no. Its like asking the time...have you ever had anyone refuse to tell you what time it was? Believe it or not, I have. And contrary to what you're saying, unfortunately a lot of guys out there would say, "Why don't you just ask whoever works here?" Not every guy is as good as you Johnny M.
justforfun Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Believe it or not, I have. And there contrary to what you're saying, unfortunately a lot of guys out there would say, "Why don't you just ask whoever works here?" Not every guy is as good as you Johnny M. So you've refused to give someone the time? Now I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation for this. Because if you arbitrarily refused then that makes u a bit(h. As for the guy that tells you to ask someone who works there. Could be he's just not into you. Maybe that he's married and sees through your 'clever' trick. Or, more likely, he's seen through your 'helpless female' nonsense and isn't playing the game.
Awesome Username Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 So you've refused to give someone the time? Now I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation for this. Because if you arbitrarily refused then that makes u a bit(h. As for the guy that tells you to ask someone who works there. Could be he's just not into you. Maybe that he's married and sees through your 'clever' trick. Or, more likely, he's seen through your 'helpless female' nonsense and isn't playing the game. Not me silly, I would never refuse anyone the time. I have been REFUSED the time by a man. Granted I live in a big city, but there you go. If he is married or thinks I'm a nonsensical female and is too much of a stick in the mud to flirt back and think I'm cute, I don't want him anyway - which is why I do it in the first place. See? Foolproof!
sumdude Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 So you've refused to give someone the time? Now I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation for this. Because if you arbitrarily refused then that makes u a bit(h. As for the guy that tells you to ask someone who works there. Could be he's just not into you. Maybe that he's married and sees through your 'clever' trick. Or, more likely, he's seen through your 'helpless female' nonsense and isn't playing the game. C'mon, sometimes games are fun.. there doesn't always have to be a result.
justforfun Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 (edited) Not me silly, I would never refuse anyone the time. I have been REFUSED the time by a man. Granted I live in a big city, but there you go. If he is married or thinks I'm a nonsensical female and is too much of a stick in the mud to flirt back and think I'm cute, I don't want him anyway - which is why I do it in the first place. See? Foolproof! Horses for courses. If a man asks you out after playing along with your bad cliche and that is important to you then go for it. For you it would be 'foolproof'. I'll stick to internet dating :D:D Edited October 19, 2009 by justforfun my preferred method of getting a date
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