Pizzaman81 Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 How do I hide how well off I am while dating? I have a spare clumsier car I drive, I can use and pretend not to be that well off but confident. Anyway, I feel a woman should like me for who I am, then when all is good I spring the goodies. Do you guys ever have that strategy?
Art_Critic Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Get married and have a child.. that will hide your wealth Don't flaunt your wealth.. show them who you really are in real life.. You want a woman who likes you for who you are not who you are pretending to be..
lofi_tokyo Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Isnt there a saying that goes along the lines of "a rich man doesn't need to show he's rich". That is to say, extraordinary wealthy individuals are beyond needing to flaunt their money, but their actions seem to give off an air of their wealth? I dated a man who came from a very VERY wealthy family for about three years. On campus he just seemed like your regular joe - he didn't dress to show off, nor did he have a fancy car... it wasn't until he took me to his house that I realized how well of he was. Still, there were queues he gave off, without even trying... I don't know. I guess that I'm trying to say is: if you're really well off... it probably will show through, no matter how you try to disguise your wealth. People with money just behave differently.
Sith Apprentice Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 All women will be trying to size up your earning potential regardless of what you do. Want someone to love you for you? Go buy a dog.
carhill Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Yup, drive a pickup with a dog in the back, like all the poor people out my way Be sure to spray some mud on it for effect
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 The attorney I dated drove around an old matte-black pick-up truck. LOL Dressed well, but it wasn't flashy at all. If I had just seen him on that date without knowing his job (and that he was a partner), I would have had no clue. As soon as she finds out your job, dude, I imagine your cover would be blown. Or are you independently wealthy?
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 I dated a man who came from a very VERY wealthy family for about three years. On campus he just seemed like your regular joe - he didn't dress to show off, nor did he have a fancy car... it wasn't until he took me to his house that I realized how well of he was. Still, there were queues he gave off, without even trying... I don't know. I guess that I'm trying to say is: if you're really well off... it probably will show through, no matter how you try to disguise your wealth. People with money just behave differently. There's a big difference between raised with money and coming into it on your own. People that worked hard for it and came out of poverty generally do not have this "attitude" that you speak of. At least not in my experience.
Author Pizzaman81 Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 There's a big difference between raised with money and coming into it on your own. People that worked hard for it and came out of poverty generally do not have this "attitude" that you speak of. At least not in my experience. I guess class and wealth are two different things. You can have a classless person who all of a sudden gotten wealthy. He will act differently than say a person with class who was brought up nicely and have not as much money.
Author Pizzaman81 Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 ... As soon as she finds out your job, dude, I imagine your cover would be blown. Or are you independently wealthy? What do you mean by independently wealthy? I have a high paying profession but also came from a wealthy family.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 I guess class and wealth are two different things. You can have a classless person who all of a sudden gotten wealthy. He will act differently than say a person with class who was brought up nicely and have not as much money. LOL...or a person that just wasn't raised with money that knows the value of hard work. Somebody that rose above their station in life by paying their way through school and grad school and is in a high-paying profession, now. I can't say this person was "classless" to begin with. You can be poor and still have a sense of class...by that I mean not "white trash." This person does not act superior to other people even though he obviously has a lot of money. What do you mean by independently wealthy? I have a high paying profession but also came from a wealthy family. By independently wealthy, I mean that you just HAVE money and not a high-paying job to back it up. Like you hit the lottery or you're a trust-fund baby. Since you have a job that screams wealth, she's going to figure it out the moment you tell her what you do for a living unless you come up with some alternate name for it.
stepka Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 The only problem that I can see with all this is what you tell her about yourself when you're in conversation--you know, the typical stuff like what you do for a living and where you went to school and what your hobbies are. You don't want to lie, but I guess you need to think about how you're going to phrase it. A sobering thought though--women who are looking to marry money have a really good nose for finding men who come from money even when they try to dress down--there are even books out there about how to spot the telltale signs. Maybe there needs to be a book about how to spot those women. (No, I"m not one of those women--I just know a lot about what kind of books are available. )
torranceshipman Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 If you are from a certain social class a girl will note this and presume you are wealthy. If not, but you're self-made wealthy... I think you should just be yourself and the natural class and good intentions of the right girl will shine through. My boyfriend is wealthy buy there is so much more to him...if he list all his money I'd still love him... Golddiggers do tend to be quite obvious too...
Eclypse Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 This is indeed interesting. I am not wealthy but if I was I wouldn't want to rub it into people's faces. Would give a wrong impression of me. I am currently in university, and when I graduate I should be able to get a job that pays quite well. I am a "motoring enthusiast." I love cars. My dreams usually involve making enough money in order to be able to purchase a truly exotic supercar. An Aston Martin, Dodge Viper, Lamborghini, Porsche etc. The reason I would like to buy a car such as this is because I love the way they look, the way they drive etc. To live on the edge. My goal is not to pick up chicks with a flashy car (even though a lot of guys do), I just want an awesome car because it would increase my personal happiness to have a childhood dream fulfilled. Alas I am afraid that is how people will view me when I do achieve my dream. The general vibe that I got here is that women prefer wealthy men who drive average joe cars (pick ups etc) so I'm just curious as to what people think of guys who enjoy driving supercars. I really wouldn't like if it all the women I attracted were gold diggers, and if all the genuine women were turned off by this. The reason I even bring this up is because a lot of people judge others based on the cars they drive. I don't want to come off as an arrogant, spoilt rich guy ever in my life.
BobSacamento Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 I think this is one of those things where if you have to ask then don't even bother. Just be yourself, don't try to fake who you are because it will eventually come out. You need to change the way you live your life.
bac Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 (edited) I do not think that you can really hide it because women extremelly sensitive about that. It is important to them. There is some balance in the world that all good things always come with some bad things. Nothing can be done about that. If you are really very wealthy, you lose your identity for a girl at the begining. I had no personal experience to go further with wealthy guys. I am really not into money, but even I had this experience to meet a guy who was very wealthy and I was hypnotized by the idea to get some hold on it. Edited October 17, 2009 by bac
littlewhiterose Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 (edited) Maybe it's a matter of refining initial dating filters? I think different things may come into play if you have an ideal type of person you go for. Or are you just casting your dating net wide? You can still appear EXACTLY who you are, drive your "A- squad" car, dress how you normally dress etc., but on dates but just be "spend-thrift". (Note: I didn't say "cheap" . And as you're getting to know the person, gauge them *not test, as in dating games* but gauge them as you're SLOWLY introducing the real YOU to them. There are tip off signs to someone who'd try to take advantage.) Still being attentive and spend-thrift, if from there, your date ditches you then you have an idea what they were after. You mention that you'd like a girl to like you -for you- but then you also say that feel like you have to hide. If that's the case, first off, it's possible you know subconciously, something is amiss, and secondly (possibly more importantly) guess what the girl sees? Definitely not the 'real' you that you want her to see.That remains hidden!!! Don't EVER be embarrassed by who they are, 'where' you come from or what you've accomplished. Use it as a stepping stone. If you hide your true self, you'd only be delaying what's right for you. Edited October 17, 2009 by littlewhiterose
Boos Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Oh yeah, be careful what you say and do, definitely, but don't lie. Like if you're a surgeon and she asks what you do, don't say you do odd jobs around the hospital and imply you're a janitor. What happens when you really like the girl and you have to tell her you lied to her because you thought she was a gold-digger?
phineas Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 At one point in my life when I rented, had no kids & was single I had more extra money than I knew what to do with. I could afford to buy rounds of drinks ect. I think back to all the money I pissed away in bars on the weekend & cry. LOL! anyways, I got the attention of women who were looking for the free ride & honestly after a few dates it wasn't hard to recognize them for who they were. There is actually a bar I know that is frequented by the wealthier men & women (married or not) flock to it looking for a rich-man fling. it's horrible really.
Angel1111 Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 I think if you just avoid wearing designer clothes and watches on your dates, and don't drive an $80,000 car you should be fine. Don't come across like you're poverty-stricken, though, because poverty isn't attractive. You need to come across as in control of your life, but not swimming in money. That should do it.
Lauriebell82 Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 I don't think you should pretend to be poor, although I understand the motive to do so. You don't have to flaunt your wealth, but don't pretend to be something that you're not. I say drive your nice car but take your date to a nice modest restaurant that isn't overly expensive.
stepka Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 I don't think you should pretend to be poor, although I understand the motive to do so. You don't have to flaunt your wealth, but don't pretend to be something that you're not. I say drive your nice car but take your date to a nice modest restaurant that isn't overly expensive. Mmm, I disagree with that one. You'd be better to drive a more modest car and take her to a nice place. The nice car/modest restaurant makes him look like a cheapskate, but the modest car/nice restaurant makes him look a man who values his date and treats her like a queen.
pricillia Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 All women will be trying to size up your earning potential regardless of what you do. Want someone to love you for you? Go buy a dog. That is not true to say ALL women. Some women who know how to take care of themselves don't care about someone elses money. Now with that said ofcourse the women who are independant and make thier own living would want someone who has the same values as they do and yes women want a secure relationship ect. ect. Not all women are gold diggers some know the value of a relationship, not easy to find though.....
phineas Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 That is not true to say ALL women. Some women who know how to take care of themselves don't care about someone elses money. Now with that said ofcourse the women who are independant and make thier own living would want someone who has the same values as they do and yes women want a secure relationship ect. ect. Not all women are gold diggers some know the value of a relationship, not easy to find though..... Actually, where I am those women are all over. Their called Registered Nurses & public school teachers. The Union has hooked these women up. They don't need a man with money cause their banking it for the most part. The only problem is the teachers can be very controlling & tend to treat their men like one of their children & the younger nurses usually work the night shift.
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 How do I hide how well off I am while dating? I have a spare clumsier car I drive, I can use and pretend not to be that well off but confident. Anyway, I feel a woman should like me for who I am, then when all is good I spring the goodies. Do you guys ever have that strategy? There is no way around it. You can't effectively hide that part of yourself while dating without putting out a ton of effort. I just got out of a relationship where it was "buy me this" "buy me that"... ect. Once your dating... she will have an idea of what you make. I'm not going to sacrifice lifestyle for the hope that I can weed out materialistic women. Besides... I don't think one exists. I wish I could find someone who would be happy living with me in a cardboard box... but women just are not built like that. So, I live with it.
Clep Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Why do you want to hide your wealth? Are you afraid of gold diggers? If a guy was wealthy and hid that from me, just the same as if he was poor and hid it from me I would not be happy, depending on the level we had gotten to in our relationship. Someone's bank account is not mine, so I really don't care about that. I would care about being open and honest and that is what would matter to me. Find an independent woman who has values and she won't care either. My current bf is not poor by any means and he is the first guy I have been with that isn't. I love him, not his bank account so I really don't care. I do care about him revealing his true self to me, not someone he isn't.
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