RayAnne Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Either I need to be slapped or I need consolances and I'm so lost in a relationship I can't think clearly which one I deserve. I have a boyfriend, we've known each other three years and just started dating really seriously for a little over 6 months now. If you can imagine, we are extremely close. I knew of his habits (and I didn't approve of them) when we were friends but now as we are dating it's even more ... Well I dislike it even more. Mostly because I care. You can say he drinks a lot. He doesn't become violent, and is never rude. He just likes to party. I can accept that about him, and expect him to get over it. However is it wrong of me to feel a grudge or beg him to stop? Am I just over reacting? I have no idea who to go to.
lofi_tokyo Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 I've considered putting myself in a similar situation... I have a male friend that is (was) becoming a coke addict. There is definitely an attraction between us... but I have avoided letting our friendship turn into a relationship. I imagine though, if we were dating - well it should be obvious I care about him, right? If his addiction is making you uncomfortable, then you should talk to him about it. Communication is key in any relationship, and in a relationship with substance abuse I think it is even more so. Ultimately, you may have to seriously consider if you want to be dating the guy. A break-up may be better for you in the long-term than pursing a relationship where you come second to alcohol and partying. I like my addict-boy a lot... but I know that no matter how much I care about him, he's still not the kind of man I want to date. So I don't date him. Its as easy as that.
Author RayAnne Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 I have talked to him. When I ask for him not to go out that night, he won't. He apologizes to me if he knows he has upset me and is slowly stopping. What really upsets me is that when he is upset (over just life details) he goes to drink or to a party. Am I just not doing enough? For as said as it is. I just can't leave him...I know even if that was the best, I never could. I just want to know if I'm reasonable...or if I'm controlling.
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