jjpitt69 Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 I was with my ex for close to 3 years. We were engaged and have a 20 month old daughter. We lived together for about 2 years. She stayed home to take care of our child while I worked and paid the bills. We always had arguements. The last couple of months the arguements became more severe. At times I called her names that I later regretted. Finally she moved out and took our child. She has been gone for close to 3 months now. Shes living with her Mother and Father. We talk everyday. She has not taken me to court for child support. I give her money to take care of our child. She still tells me that she loves me but says i really hurt her. She said she needs time to heal. I did many things to change myself and have shown her that I'm different. She told me that she wants to be friends. Friends that raise our child together. She also has said that she sees us being together down the road. She sounds at times irritated when talking to me. I'm so confused. One day it seems were making progress and the next we take a step back. She has told me that she still has alot of hate for me but she does forgive me. I have spoken to her mom and she has told me that she just needs time to heal. and thinks well be back together sooner then later. I have admitted to her that I was bad to her at times and that im sorry. I just want us to be a family again. She gets very mad if I start talking about trying to make us work again. She wants no pressure. Today I called her and told her that Im going to give her the time to heal and think about what she wants. Does anyone have anything for me? I need some advice please. Her mother told me she is confused and doesnt know what she wants. But she isnt looking for anyone else. She refers our relationship to being seperated. She still wears the engagement ring I gave her but on her right hand. She has moved alot of stuff out of our house but still retains the house key. When she gets angry with me she tells me that she doesnt want to be with me. I have no idea what to think of this.
jinx55 Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Usually when a girl goes to the extreme of moving out and saying she needs time to heal she means she needs some space from you to figure out how she feels about you. The best advice I can give you is give her space, don't bring up being back together it makes her feel pressured and she already knows you want to be with her. Her parents are not the way to go, she will not respect you for going behind her back to talk to them and she will feel even more pressure which doesn't create the space she is asking you for. I have had a girlfriend in the past who broke up with me after 5 years and my advice for being separated even if it is temporary is to live your life. Go out, exercise, go to work/school whatever it is you do and don't sit at home and grieve about it because it will force you to do things that will create less space between you. You can't make someone in a relationship happy if you aren't happy, period. Assuming you guys get back together you might want to talk to someone about relationship advice, or go to counseling together to see why you are fighting so much its not uncommon especially with all the stresses people have to deal with these days. GL to you.
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