Author Chilli Pepper Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 How is he playing her? He's not denying the fact that he's seeing other women. It's called an open relationship. As for him not knowing whether he wants to be in a committed relationship, that could very well be true. Maybe he likes the OP but is still trying to see if he can do better. As for OP's question: you've got two options. You can continue sleeping with him, knowing that he's also seeing other women and that there's a good chance that your relationship would never become serious/exclusive. If the sex is good, why not? Nothing prevents you from continuing to look for something more serious in the meanwhile. Or, you can tell him that you are not comfortable with the whole arrangement and that if he wants to continue seeing you, he would have to delete his online dating profile and stop seeing other women.Johhny, you are partially right. We never talked about this is going to open or close relationship. We hang out in his home in suburban during week or on some weekend but he stays in the city during the week by himself. I am sure he likes me and the sex is fabulous and we did have a great time every time together. He enjoys hang out with me, his words. We go to dinner, movie, hang out whole nite talking, sleep over; but it is true, somehow it always ends up with sex. Maybe he is just serial dater - dating women he has eyes on and then move on to the next one. Then stop telling me that I'm amazing.
carhill Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Then stop telling me that I'm amazing. Why? You are. So are all the other women he dates. He might sincerely believe that. Regardless, IMO, the important thing is what you want out of this. I'd personally love to visit his city home
Johnny M Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Maybe he is just serial dater - dating women he has eyes on and then move on to the next one. Then stop telling me that I'm amazing. I don't understand why you see these two things as mutually exclusive. He could genuinely think that you are amazing, have a great time with you (and not just when you're having sex), and still enjoy dating/sleeping with other women. From his standpoint, he's getting the best of both worlds: he can lead the single lifestyle while having someone who's always around and available. It's really up to you whether you find this acceptable. And you can't blame the guy, since you know what's up and yet you're still with him. If you want to be in an exclusive relationship, tell him that. And don't just ask him what he wants - tell him what YOU want.
Author Chilli Pepper Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 I don't understand why you see these two things as mutually exclusive. He could genuinely think that you are amazing, have a great time with you (and not just when you're having sex), and still enjoy dating/sleeping with other women. From his standpoint, he's getting the best of both worlds: he can lead the single lifestyle while having someone who's always around and available. It's really up to you whether you find this acceptable. And you can't blame the guy, since you know what's up and yet you're still with him. If you want to be in an exclusive relationship, tell him that. And don't just ask him what he wants - tell him what YOU want.You are very insightful Johnny. I totally think that is how he feels. Like a lot of women, when I like a man, I hope that is a matter of time instead of a matter of manner. If the first, maybe he could be more sure about an exclusive relationship down the road. If the 2nd, I better run. But which?
2sunny Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Johhny, you are partially right. We never talked about this is going to open or close relationship. We hang out in his home in suburban during week or on some weekend but he stays in the city during the week by himself. I am sure he likes me and the sex is fabulous and we did have a great time every time together. He enjoys hang out with me, his words. We go to dinner, movie, hang out whole nite talking, sleep over; but it is true, somehow it always ends up with sex. Maybe he is just serial dater - dating women he has eyes on and then move on to the next one. Then stop telling me that I'm amazing. but he stays in the city during the week by himself. ummmm, this is a pretty big leap... i highly doubt he is by himself when he's there... in fact, i'd bet a lot of money he's not alone.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Yes, he wants you for sex and fun only, nothing more, and that won't change. I agree that his comments about how great you are could well be sincere -- it really doesn't matter, though. No matter how great you are, he wants you for sex and fun only. If you enjoy the sex and fun and want to keep it up, great, but keep meeting other guys and dating, and stay open to meeting someone for something serious, if that is what you ultimately want. Keep him as an option, not a priority.
2sunny Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 reinstate your profile and start dating guys that ask you out... leaving him the clear idea that you, as well as he, are dating others. stay active in your community and busy with lots of thing and people. no reason to wait around for someone that just wants you when it's convenient for him.
Author Chilli Pepper Posted October 18, 2009 Author Posted October 18, 2009 Yes, he wants you for sex and fun only, nothing more, and that won't change. I agree that his comments about how great you are could well be sincere -- it really doesn't matter, though. No matter how great you are, he wants you for sex and fun only. If you enjoy the sex and fun and want to keep it up, great, but keep meeting other guys and dating, and stay open to meeting someone for something serious, if that is what you ultimately want. Keep him as an option, not a priority.Although I have made up my mind I still want to tell my story, because it is rich. We set up a date for Sat. before I asked the question so I just went with it. The night before that, I was on the phone him when someone else called. and I fotgot to call him (the dush bag) back and didn't answer his text that night. He kept texting mid night and early morning. and asked me who is this guy, what he does and when did he go home. Confused is the world. We spent a whole night and Sunday cuddling and he explained that the reason he is unsure is that he is not sure about me (I could be flirty/, Bluh bluh bluh...) and he doesn't want to get hurt (rich isn't it?). Wait to you hear this: he needs to go back to the city after 4PM to prepare for Monday's work, we kissed and say good bye. 1 hour later, his profile is active again. So I'm pretty sure he went back to city for a date. I'm SPEECHLESS. What a dush bag!
2sunny Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 why are you surprised? it's only more of the same from him... give him credit... at least he's consistent. consistently a jerk. why did you go out again after knowing his MO and the fact that he only sees you to use you?
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