ladydesigner Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 I just received a very anonymous email through a business website I am with. The email is stating that this woman has been screwing my H for years and that he proposed to her then let her know he wasn't leaving because of the kids we have together and that he is a liar. Do I believe this email or is someone playing a nasty and disturbing prank on me. What would you do? My H is of course is denying everything and he has cheated on me in the past. What does a person do or think in this situation????
lonelyandfrustrated Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 Ask the sender for proof. Can you do that?
MistyK Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 I just received a very anonymous email through a business website I am with. The email is stating that this woman has been screwing my H for years and that he proposed to her then let her know he wasn't leaving because of the kids we have together and that he is a liar. Do I believe this email or is someone playing a nasty and disturbing prank on me. What would you do? My H is of course is denying everything and he has cheated on me in the past. What does a person do or think in this situation???? I can't imagine someone playing a prank like that. And your H does have a checkered history. Can you do some research to see what he's been up to? I would imagine that it would be harder to do because he learned to cover up from before..... You don't suppose it was sent by your OM, hoping to break your marriage up?
whattodonow12 Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 One of the things that I am learning here is that we all need to trust our "gut." What do you think? And, ask for proof before you say anything else to him. So sorry But, usually when there is smoke, there is fire.
Author ladydesigner Posted October 16, 2009 Author Posted October 16, 2009 You don't suppose it was sent by your OM, hoping to break your marriage up? I have thought of this especially since I am still maintaining NC. The email was sent from a fake address so I cannot track it. I am having my email company look into it but not sure what they will find out. If it is an OW... wow I guess it could be karma, but he has done this to me before. Just not sure what to think. I am tired of dealing with any men or man at this point. I am searching for peace of mind. This is so tiring.
scatterd Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 Yes you should ask for proof and ask how she knew where to contact you.See if she will give you a name.
scatterd Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 She does not want you to contact her if she wanted you to know about it.I would think she would call or something.
2sure Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 You know what? A lot of times, when people are not cheaters...no mysterious people contact their spouses telling them of secret affairs. Amazing huh? Just doesnt happen. But a lot of times, this happens with cheaters....because its true. Since D-Day, Ive read messages to H, and to myself from various OW. I dont ask him any questions...when he denies something I just tell him Prove it. Its not my job anymore to have proof that he is a cheater. Everything I think or assume or am told by someone else is true until he Proves otherwise. Which of course, he cant.
Author ladydesigner Posted October 16, 2009 Author Posted October 16, 2009 Everything I think or assume or am told by someone else is true until he Proves otherwise. Which of course, he cant. This is exactly my thinking at the moment.
delajoonal Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 i would have def NOT told my H..and did some spying first! now, if IT is true, he can go back and start to cover any evidance of an A.
Lizzie60 Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 I agree with Dela.. I would have kept this email secret and spy on him... Methink it's true.. it probably comes from an OW who have been lied to (maybe he told her he was single).. then she found out he has a wife.. I'm in the process of doing exactly that.. (but in my case, it will be face to face... I don't have an email addy)..
65tr6 Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 (edited) But a lot of times, this happens with cheaters....because its true. ITA. OP, do not reveal this to your husband. Snoop around. More than likely he is cheating. good luck, you need it. PS : Wait a minute, you cheated earlier ? Edited October 16, 2009 by 65tr6
Author ladydesigner Posted October 16, 2009 Author Posted October 16, 2009 PS : Wait a minute, you cheated earlier ? Actually he cheated years ago. I ended up in a month long revenge affair. So yes we both cheated. I now wish I never had. I was very vulnerable hurt and angry after the discovery of my H first affair (I know it is no excuse). But now again I find myself in this situation again, being the BS. No I have no plans of ever having another affair. Big Big mistake.
imagine Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 OK. If their is a history of infidelity, get a polygraph.
boldjack Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 LD, It looks to me like you learned your lesson, but your H didn't. I would assume that it's true, contact the OW(if possible), and do a little intelligence work. Since your H knows about the e-mail, make him prove his innocence to YOUR satisfaction. If it's true you can either dump him, or whatever you decide. You are in the driver's seat........Drive!!
Author ladydesigner Posted October 16, 2009 Author Posted October 16, 2009 If it is true I am done. I may be done anyways. Either way I am in a very bad situation. I believe my husband may be a sociopath and serial cheater.
Dexter Morgan Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 I just received a very anonymous email through a business website I am with. The email is stating that this woman has been screwing my H for years and that he proposed to her then let her know he wasn't leaving because of the kids we have together and that he is a liar. Do I believe this email or is someone playing a nasty and disturbing prank on me. What would you do? I wouldn't ignore this bit of anon info. but I would do some investigating first before confronting my SO about it. Looks like you already confronted your H though, so the cat is out of the bag and now that he knows he has been ratted out, if it is in fact true, then he will be careful now to cover his tracks as he knows you are on to him. Offer to meet this OW in person. Get the story, get her name. Oh, and then ask her if she knew he was married when she started having sex with him. If the answer is yes, you could always say, "thanks for the honesty"...then slap the ever lovin' p!ss out of her:)
Dexter Morgan Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 You don't suppose it was sent by your OM, hoping to break your marriage up? oh wait, you are a cheater too? then why the hell do you deserve advice? Forget my post above.
Author ladydesigner Posted October 16, 2009 Author Posted October 16, 2009 Yeah Dex I cheated too and you have given me some straight up advice in the past. No it is not something I am proud of but did it out of revenge to my H first affair. I still appreciate your advice.
Fallen Angel Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 Lady D, Do you know some great IT person who may be able to track back the IP addy for you from the email? I mean, sure we all know how to make new email accounts to carry on with our affairs, but I think for the most part we don't know the technical crap to REALLY cover our tracks. Also, I would see about getting the same tech person to see what they can recover from your H's computer, again, unless that is his field of expertise, there will be proof of infedelity from emails, chat clients etc still sitting there on your harddrive waiting to be recovered. (maybe you and I need to learn those techie skills and start our own cyber dectecive agency, we would make millions.) Sorry, just trying to bring a small smile to your face with a silly little joke. I really am sorry this is happening to you, ((HUGS))
whattodonow12 Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 There is a way to trace the email to see where it came from. It is easy enough to do by tracing the IP address. I recently did this. Do an internet search and you will find lots of free programs to do it with step by step instructions. If that doesn't help, then most IT people can do it pretty easily.
theycallmeprincess Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Oh, and then ask her if she knew he was married when she started having sex with him. If the answer is yes, you could always say, "thanks for the honesty"...then slap the ever lovin' p!ss out of her:) Really!! You're advocating violence to resolve a situation? Mature...NOT
theycallmeprincess Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 oh wait, you are a cheater too? then why the hell do you deserve advice? Forget my post above. Perhaps you should read the whole thread before replying with your broken record responses.
1Angel Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 FA was right. Look at the full header then trace the ip address. Google IP locator then go to that site. Also is it possible your H making it all up posing as OW to get revenge on you? IP location should help answer that.
JAGeezer Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Lady D, Do you know some great IT person who may be able to track back the IP addy for you from the email? I mean, sure we all know how to make new email accounts to carry on with our affairs, but I think for the most part we don't know the technical crap to REALLY cover our tracks. Also, I would see about getting the same tech person to see what they can recover from your H's computer, again, unless that is his field of expertise, there will be proof of infedelity from emails, chat clients etc still sitting there on your harddrive waiting to be recovered. A good online "do it yourself" tracing tool is "Network Tools". Follow the link. http://network-tools.com/ JAG
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