my depression drove him away

[maleet]

Ive been depressed... its my situation at home. was in a long distance kind of relationship and we met each other in the middle every weekend for the whole weekend. we also met in the middle of the week for dinner after work on wednesdays.

 

I have been really depressed with my home life... my work is so so because we have been slow and not really selling much and cutting back on hours.

 

with all the depression and issues i have in my head we have had a few talks about it... i tried to explain to the best of my ability what is going on.

 

he always wants my time. i feel like i need personal time to get my head on straight. he doesnt understand this and assumes im dating another man or just plain blowing him off. he doesnt realize how much alone time i need (i relax by doing my nails, mud masks, bubble baths- girl stuff). the whole thing with me taking a shower in the morning and one at night was big problem with ihm too because he thought i was just blowing him off. what?????

 

 

anyways... ffwd to this morning. last night ended alright we said goodnight on the phone and all that. this morning i get 5 texts of hate towards me. How he is going to do what HE WANTS because I was always getting my way and not doing anything to comfort him.

 

I know its goign to sound selfish but if i am the one thats having so many issues in my head and problems i might need a little extra support. i dont see him struggling to get out of bed or to move it the mornings or wanting to sleep ALL OF the time. i used to come home early from work adn take a nap til he got off work so we could talk on the cellphone on his drive home but he assumed i was just blowing him off.

 

Nothing has changed in my house. yes im older than most living at home but i had problems and HAD to come back home or be homeless. i feel like a kid again listening to my parents fight while locked up in my room with the radio on.

 

he told me in those texts and voicemails that we are going to do what HE wants and not anything that i want. that i have become too greedy and abused HIS LOVE.

 

sorry but all i wanted was someone to understand me and tell me it will be ok not criticise me for things over and over. I lost interest in sex because im mentally screwed up- i hate how i look too and cant seem to loose these last 10lbs... i started to become MORE to myself lately because in a way i got to a point where i didnt wnat to be too close to him because i feel he will start something with me. one of my old coworkers caught up with me via text the other week for 4 days on his lunch break and my man didnt like that one bit. he now thinks im dating this guy.

 

ive ended friendships to make him feel more secure. he thinks im gonna leave him but i see a pattern here- he holds on too tight and chicks dont want to stick around. especially if they already have depression going on. (my depression came back full swing when i had gotten sued by 2 credit card companies for a debt my ex ran up adn never paid a cent towards-- 10 grand)

 

 

we have been fighting every single day now for the past few weeks... almost anyways.

 

my depression is worse. he left. now i weep. i just thought he was going to be around for me.

 

 

not to mention i have a hard enough time growing up in a house that shows no emotion... i tried to tell him how i felt but he thinks i was just using him to get out of the house.

 

someone please write me back. i need some comfort. im in a really bad place..... im gonna try to work a half day later just to get something else on my mind.

[JaggedRoad]

Hey, you'll be ok. You don't need someone who leaves when things get hard. Maybe he'll turn around, maybe he won't. Don't blame yourself.

[whichwayisup]

He doesn't get it and he never will.

 

Sorry you're hurting, but I say, let him go..You suffer from depression and he isn't being supportive, nor does he want to try to understand..He's immature, assuming you're really doing something else (dating others) and that's not true.