EarthGirl Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 No, I wouldnt. Would people date drug dealers? Car thieves? stripping is not only not illegal in most places but it is not in my opinion of the same moral wrongness in any way as car thieves or DRUG DEALERS ....good god. that is totally different. I actually respect a woman who would do that to make money to feed her kids and put a roof over her head knowing that it may make THEM respect her less when they get older,....but doing it because that's what mother's do...anything they have to to take care of their kids within a moral limit... it's not something I'd ever do unless I absolutely had to...but you do what you gotta do...and more tame strip "dancing" probably is a sort of art form...as a dancer I can kind of appreciate that....more explicit and raunchy and naked stuff..well again, not something I'd ever do ..and maybe it is just a poison to both the strippers and the men watching for sexual gratification with no higher purpose attached like all good sex and/or sexy stuff should be...BUT most women that get into it most likely have fallen on hard luck and have been very unfortunate in their childhoods and adult lives...lots of times having a history of sexual abuse which may make this easier for them to turn to in a strange way or a compulsive way...and/or they do not come from very well to do circumstances and are living hand to mouth and they'll do whatever it takes to survive literally. In my opinion a man who would NOT date a woman simply because she was a stripper for a short time because it was the only way she could manage at the time (either before she had any education or skills or was in a bad circumstance financially or emotionally or whatever) to support her children in the best way she could..Especially if she DIDN'T ever cross that line of prostitution.... I really think any guy who would blacklist a wonderful smart caring woman simply for that fact for what she did once for a while in her life which will only end up being a small fraction of her lifetime...I really think what it really is is men discriminating against the very vulnerabilities that make women women and make them different from men and make them wonderful and ironically all the much stronger in the end...and that is sick and unfortunate and disappointing. Also unfortunate for other women to judge a woman for something like that having never walking in her shoes. I mean if the woman/former stripper does have serious issues which prevent her from being able to have a healthy relationshiip and be a caring stable individual...that's much different...of course i'm sure it happens somewhat often with women who have been in that profession beCAUSE of their often traumatic life histories...that's totally different ..
EarthGirl Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Never believe anything a stripper says. These hors are master manipulators. These are the same excuses all strippers use. There's no such thing as a sweet and innocent stripper. Get that fairy tale out of your head right now. I'll give you the secret to scoring strippers- TREAT HER LIKE GARBAGE. Strippers love guys that play mind games and trying to be captain save a ho to a stripper will only get you hurt. They are ***k and chuck material only. you're nothing but a sick disgusting monster. that's all I have to say.
CaliGuy Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 No, I wouldnt. I agree with most of CaliGuys points on it, the few I knew were dishonest, unrealiable, had quasi-drug problems, and were constantly walking the line between being a stripper and a hooker. The ones I knew were also constantly pretending to like guys to use them for money and places to stay, and also stole almost everything that wasnt nailed down. Completely disagree. Anyone can get pregnant, not everyone takes of their clothes (at the minimum) to get money. Would people date drug dealers? Car thieves? BCCA to put it in a nutshell, the few I dated were completely dishonest. They didn't like me for me, but what I provided for them. That's not a relationship -- that's a dependent. No thanks
You'reasian Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 I dated a woman whom I met while swimming who had a smoking hot body and who told me she was taking college classes - and she was. She was friendly, easy to talk to, straight forward and a genuinely positive person - I felt that I could easily get along with her. As we began to get accquainted, we bonded as two people or two souls would, mind you I hadn't had sex with her, we just kind of hung out and BS'd. Later, she told me that she was a stripper and it didn't change my perspective about her, because she was still that same person who I grew to know. We got along famously and parted amicably since she had to move across country. Another woman whom I met kind of randomly at a club told me that she was a stripper. I didn't have any pre-conceived ideas about her personality. She was a sweet, kind and considerate girl - but she was lost as a person. Found out that she was previously involved in a really, really bad relationship with some guy who got her pregnant and left her. She was such a good girl, with honest hopes of moving on and dreams who seemed dependent on stripping as her sole source of income. I couldn't help her any better than she could've helped herself. We lost contact. It really boils down to the person she is. Considering the rough nature of the stripping business, she'd have to be a dynamic and moraly righteous person for me to be interested.
Turista Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 BTW, JWL. I would trust an honest stripper more than I would MOST of the OW/OM's here on LS.:laugh: Damn right! Much as I *probably* wouldn't knowingly date a stripper, I would trust any sex-industry worker over a woman *pretending* she isn't one... But I'd rather date someone with a stable existence and mundane, everyday problems over the kind of drama this industry brings into one's life...
Clep Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 I was a lap dancer when I was younger for about a month. I had strong values but lacked the self worth to go with that. I was not able to handle the type of people in the club. Bikers, druggies, cheaters and liars. I had to quit and find something else to do. I am glad I did it, as it provided me life experience, however I would never do it again, nor would I recommend it to anyone. I have never had a guy have a problem with it that I have dated.
caramel c Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 I couldn't take a guy seriously if he used to be a stripper.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Would you ever be able to date someone that was formerly a stripper. I have a friend who is at the end of her rope and feels she has no where to turn. She has about 9 months left of school, but needs a way to support her kids until she graduates. Shell be in the medical profession so she wont have a problem getting a job. She the sweetest person and very innocent, so shes having trouble making the decision. She's worried that no respectable man would be willing to date her after finding out she stripped for less then a year of her life. Would that make you look at her and run? Being a "stripper" is merely a symptom, it isn't the problem. And all of these clowns applying their own standards to other people in the area of whether they would or couldn't ever be a stripper aren't even considering what matters. The troubles and victimization in the past which are usually a precursor to stripping for a living are the unmentioned variables. If anyone wishes to answer hypothetically: "IF my father, my uncle, my brother, the gym teacher, and a couple of guys from my first year of college had successively raped me, could I then perform the duties of a stripper?" ... they should go ahead and do so, but until they have first-hand experience with many of those, or many tangents to those, their answers here don't really mean much. With that said, there are lots and lots of personalities out there in male society which mesh reasonably well, to quite well, with the current and former strippers of the world. Of course a good number of them are A-holes, but you get a lot of that anywhere. Let your friend make the decision for herself, as only she knows whether she could stand the daily routine and its psychological effects. The money will probably pay the needed bills, at least there is that positive consideration.
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Being a "stripper" is merely a symptom, it isn't the problem. And all of these clowns applying their own standards to other people in the area of whether they would or couldn't ever be a stripper aren't even considering what matters. The troubles and victimization in the past which are usually a precursor to stripping for a living are the unmentioned variables. I would not willingly date someone that damaged either. It's my life, and I can date anyone I want... Who are you to bash my standards... or that of any other guy?
EarthGirl Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 I would not willingly date someone that damaged either. It's my life, and I can date anyone I want... Who are you to bash my standards... or that of any other guy? it's only that it's pretty despicable to have a "standard" of wanting to only date people who have not been too horribly damaged by life...even by things that were completely out of their control. it's pretty despicable to deny someone love , even if you feel it for them...or to deny the possibility of feeling the love (i.e. not even going on a first date with a woman if you have reason to believe she is "damaged" in some way too much for your liking)...When their whole life they have been denied love....not because they are not worthy but just because they got dealt a bad hand...and it is that very reason that they are so "damaged". It IS your life and it IS your decision alone of who you date and who you don't. It would just be nice if you could express like a grown up that you are not willing to date someone like that for the sake of your own wellbeing...but not because they are "damaged"...and it is completely inaccurate not to mention very distasteful to use the word "standards" as applies to this discussion.
Woggle Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 If she were otherwise a good person I would never judge a woman for having been a stripper or even a prostitute. It's a cold world and people need to do what they have to to survive. I know women who are in corporate professions and have so called respectable jobs that are just rotten to the core. They cheat on their men left and right and generally treat men like crap and they have never set foot inside a club.
deux ex machina Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Never believe anything a stripper says. These hors are master manipulators. These are the same excuses all strippers use. There's no such thing as a sweet and innocent stripper. Get that fairy tale out of your head right now. I'll give you the secret to scoring strippers- TREAT HER LIKE GARBAGE. Strippers love guys that play mind games and trying to be captain save a ho to a stripper will only get you hurt. They are ***k and chuck material only. She turned you down, didn't she?
lino Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 If she were otherwise a good person I would never judge a woman for having been a stripper or even a prostitute. It's a cold world and people need to do what they have to to survive. I know women who are in corporate professions and have so called respectable jobs that are just rotten to the core. They cheat on their men left and right and generally treat men like crap and they have never set foot inside a club. I second this. I don't judge a woman by what she does for work.
sally4sara Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Being a "stripper" is merely a symptom, it isn't the problem. And all of these clowns applying their own standards to other people in the area of whether they would or couldn't ever be a stripper aren't even considering what matters. The troubles and victimization in the past which are usually a precursor to stripping for a living are the unmentioned variables. If anyone wishes to answer hypothetically: "IF my father, my uncle, my brother, the gym teacher, and a couple of guys from my first year of college had successively raped me, could I then perform the duties of a stripper?" ... they should go ahead and do so, but until they have first-hand experience with many of those, or many tangents to those, their answers here don't really mean much. With that said, there are lots and lots of personalities out there in male society which mesh reasonably well, to quite well, with the current and former strippers of the world. Of course a good number of them are A-holes, but you get a lot of that anywhere. Let your friend make the decision for herself, as only she knows whether she could stand the daily routine and its psychological effects. The money will probably pay the needed bills, at least there is that positive consideration. As a former stripper, I have absolutely no idea what point is being made here. Never been raped and seriously don't consider the experiences I had to be akin to rape. I would not claim the job made me understand what it would be like to be raped; I feel it would be an insult to real rape victims. Rape victims were not raped because of the work they chose to do. Nor does one need to work any particular job to become the victim of rape. One wouldn't even need to work to be raped by their father/brother/uncle/gym teacher/guys from classes. While you can find rape victims in many walks of life, they don't immediately go and get jobs as strippers. Nor is stripping the only job that can make someone feel as though their dignity is being infringed. I've had office jobs that accomplished that. Talk about stereotypes! I think the commonality of women being "victimized" in some way at some point in their life is a fact and a point missed on men. When you're a sex object simply for being born, one's dignity is bound to take some knocks no matter what path you take. I'm sure there is some unavoidable right of passage for men that I do not comprehend for lack of experience too. That said, women are amazingly resilient to the common theme of men's leering and reducing them to little more than flesh. It happens the moment we walk out our doors for the day even if we're not headed for the nearest pole stage. Are we then ALL damaged for the actions of the men who watch us?
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 ... LOL - I think your nickname says it all!!! We don't need anymore intro.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I would not willingly date someone that damaged either. It's my life, and I can date anyone I want... Who are you to bash my standards... or that of any other guy? Are you on drugs? I never wrote a word of disapproval about yours, or anybody else's standards. I wasn't even in the equation. It was between the OP and the others who responded.
ashtar Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I'm a dancer, believe me we're nothing but trouble
bluegreen12 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I've dated strippers and adult performers before, with mixed results. In girl #1, the situation was much like the OP's. The girl was in school, single parent, and could make a lot of money. She was a very good, moral woman, and we got along famously. She had a calender, and she would mark the days off, until she didn't have to do it anymore. Her last night stripping, I threw her a big party!! Girl# , became used to the lifestyle, having lots of money, and as her greed took over, began to do more and kinkier things to get more money (the kinkier you are, the more money you can make) She turned into a druggee, and wasn't able to have anything like a stable relationship. So I guess it depends on the woman's moral character, and whether the man wants a relationship or just a sex partner. Girl #1 is married, has a wonderful career, and never looked back. Girl #2 died of Aids, in 1992. I planted a tree for her on my farm, I think of her, every time I pass it. Aren't you glad you didn't get aids from girl number 2?
Sam Spade Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 (edited) I'd date a stripper, because there are *no* fat strippers, and that's worth all the trouble . Edited October 20, 2009 by Sam Spade
tami-chan Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I'd date a stripper, because there are *no* fat strippers, and that's worth all the trouble . (I wish I was joking. The obesity epidemic is so widespread and disgusting that sacrificing some personality traits for aesthetics sound like an increasingly good idea). I see....does that mean you couldn't get a highly educated, very well paid- professional, slender, beautiful woman? then strippers make sense
tinktronik Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I see....does that mean you couldn't get a highly educated, very well paid- professional, slender, beautiful woman? then strippers make sense There are actually quite a few strippers that fit into all of those categories. Just saying.
Sam Spade Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I see....does that mean you couldn't get a highly educated, very well paid- professional, slender, beautiful woman? then strippers make sense Kinda . I've got a moderately educated, and moderately slender girl :love:. That said, strippers still make sense ==> 100% of strippers are slender, while only 10%-20% (if that) of the general population of women are slender .
Jersey Shortie Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Sam, I feel the same way about money. There are only 15-20% of men out there that can take care of a woman the way she wants. I think if I had ever been a stripper, I would have been very saddended and even more distrustful of men seeing how they act in a strip club. I think strip clubs bring out the absolute worst qualties in men. Many guys are complete hypocrites on these kind of issues. They don't mind going to see strippers, getting lap dances and who knows what else, and will even defend strip clubs and strippers to their real life parnter and yet they consider themselves worthy dating partners for "good" women and critize the life of strippers at teh same time. It's really about a power control thing if you ask me. It's not based on any real truth of the matter. Some women are strippers because they are damanged. And some aren't . Although I suspect being a stripper opens your eyes to the worst in men and that's really men's own fault.
fabulous_chk Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I don't think she'll have a problem. I have a friend who us now married for 6 years and everybody knew she stripped in the past. It's all about your attitude. My friend is very upbeat, jokes about herself, and never walked like she was a victim of the society. Very outspoken, very intelligent, awesome fun personality! Everybody adores her, especially her husband! She lives in Canada though. She might have a little problem if she lived here in the US, where people can be quite...close-minded? I don't know what the right word is.
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