RedDevil66 Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 Keylogger on the computer ... $ 59.95 Polygraph to catch the lies ... $ 400.00 Divorce to finalize things ... $ 7000.00 Peace of Mind? ... Pricele$$ (for everything else there's Mastercard) You can get keylogger as a free download for 2 weeks on many sites. I did it :-)
bentnotbroken Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 Originally Posted by bentnotbroken You know he is emotionally abusing her by lying to her face and you have continued with him for 5 years. You aid him in his abuse. WOW! Originally Posted by skylarblue I wouldn’t consider that emotional abuse. That’ll be like me saying she’s emotionally abusing him because she gained 60lbs and is forcing him to either have sex when he’s not physically attracted or abstain. Originally Posted by dexter morgan no, it wouldn't be like you saying that because that analogy above is ridiculous Exactly my point, dexter. I was making a ridiculous (not personal) analogy to what I thought was a ridiculous statement in equating lying to a spouse as emotional abuse. I consider emotional abuse when you demean someone into losing their self-worth or –esteem. Not when a H lies to cover his ass, which is what the majority of them do. And speaking of ridiculous....what the hell do you think happens to BS who cheating partners cheat and lie to them? Have you not read the post of BS and the feeling of low self esteem and the thoughts of spouse with ap, not knowing if what is being said at the moment is true. Or how about wondering if they are really where they say they would be. How about the sleepless nights or loss of appetite, and the numbing depression. If they have a secret email account or cell. Have you never heard of the infidelity diet, where someone can drop a significant amount of weight in a short period of time. Ask any doctor or counselor that constitutes emotional trauma. That's emotional abuse! Your post make you seem silly at best and truly cold hearted at it's worst. Complete lunacy. Even the post of former MM men like Boldjack will show you what they did to keep A going.
freestyle Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 Lyingto a loved one is emotional abuse. Absolutely. To deliberately mislead someone's heart, either by presenting false information, or withholding information, is the ultimate disrespect. It sends a message saying,"I don't want you to be able to make an accurate assessment about my behavior. So I will deny you that right........................." "You don't deserve the truth...." "and I will recreate your sense of reality to suit my agenda.............." It demonstrates nothing but contempt, and scorn. It's a covert control game. and the consequences???????????????................................... for the liar: after getting caught, they lose credibilty. for the one lied to: they can potentially lose the abilty to trust, and feel safely , securely loved.Which can carry forward into future relationships. Innocence lost can never be regained. Being lied to by a stranger, or an aquaintance, is a slap in the face. Being lied to by someone who promised to love you, is a slap in the heart.
RedDevil66 Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 And speaking of ridiculous....what the hell do you think happens to BS who cheating partners cheat and lie to them? Have you not read the post of BS and the feeling of low self esteem and the thoughts of spouse with ap, not knowing if what is being said at the moment is true. Or how about wondering if they are really where they say they would be. How about the sleepless nights or loss of appetite, and the numbing depression. If they have a secret email account or cell. Have you never heard of the infidelity diet, where someone can drop a significant amount of weight in a short period of time. Ask any doctor or counselor that constitutes emotional trauma. That's emotional abuse! Your post make you seem silly at best and truly cold hearted at it's worst. Complete lunacy. Even the post of former MM men like Boldjack will show you what they did to keep A going. well said and I totally agree, but this will fall on the deaf ears of those living in such deep denial about their lives.
2sure Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 Whats worse? The sex with OW? No. I can get past that. Have. That was easy. Having his romantic/ego/emotional needs filled elsewhere? That hurts. All the lies he told me so he could cheat? Makes me angry, but I chalk it up to defensiveness. All of those things are simply infidelity. It happens. It can be dealt with. But when he denies there is any problem at all. When he expends such great effort and emotion to convince you everything is wonderful, he loves you, he cant lose you AND that you are crazy/paranoid for thinking anything remotely different. Thats something different. This is not infidelity. This is his not being happy with simply staying married AND having an affair. He is also insisting you accept it while at the same time never acknowledge its existence. They are "friends." To OW, he insists he is a martyr. Its insanity. It is malicious. If you have access to his phone records (from the itemized bill) then he has a secret cell phone. Get a voice recorder $50-100 and put it in his car. This will solve nothing, but maybe with the proof you can at least both have a conversation based on reality. Look up the term GASLIGHTING. You are being driven out of your mind. The infidelity, in comparison, was a bump in the road.
mybrowneyedgirl Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 2 sure - when i first came here i looked up gaslighting. that description fits my A to a T. he did it the entire time. still is, probably.
2sure Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 I'll tell you. No OW should want to be with a man capable of this. It is way beyond infidelity.
65tr6 Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 I'll tell you. No OW should want to be with a man capable of this. It is way beyond infidelity. there are two things where I would draw the line...where I would cut my losses 1) if there is an OC involved in an affair 2) if the wayward continues to gaslight/has no remorse about the affair. I agree this is way beyond normal infidelity abuse. I could never understand why a wayward would do that.
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