sumdude Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Hmm.. strange week for me. It's getting close to three years since she left me and over two since the divorce was final. Haven't seen nor spoken with her in close to a year. For some damn reason this week she was on my mind like I was suddenly wrapped back up in it all. Then I realized in a way why. Saturday would have been my Dad's birthday, he passed away last Thanksgiving. My parents passing and my divorce all happened pretty close together. So thinking of one brings the others up too. There's this beautiful photo collage my XW made for me years ago, really a work of art. It had been buried in storage under the stairs for years and I caught a glimpse of it a few days back. A couple nights later I had to pull it out and look at it. At first my plan was to finally trash it.. but I looked at it. There were pix of her, my parents, my grandparents an entire period of my life that is now over. God it's like some weird memorial to a previous life. I couldn't throw it away I just looked at it, cried a bit and tried to make peace with it all. I'm just having a hard week and this gloomy fall weather isn't helping.
floridapad Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 Yeah I guess we all have triggers that bring up the past. You seem like your pretty in touch wih whats going on with you. That is an amazing thing. Cry away and then move forward. Knowing WHY we feel the way we do and accepting It and then letting it go in the moment is something that very few people have the ability to do. Now go out and do something fun. Something different. Every time you feel that way do a 180. Take care
floridapad Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 Yeah I guess we all have triggers that bring up the past. You seem like your pretty in touch wih whats going on with you. That is an amazing thing. Cry away and then move forward. Knowing WHY we feel the way we do and accepting It and then letting it go in the moment is something that very few people have the ability to do. Now go out and do something fun. Something different. Every time you feel that way do a 180. Take care
Gunny376 Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 Its Post Traumatic Shock Syndrome ~ it gets better as the years go by. You don't get over it ~ you just learn how to live with it! Be it the lost of a wife, a father, a mother or a child? You just learn how to live with it Bro! Its a damn shame! There's no rhyme nor reason to it nor for it! It just is! Its just the way it is!
Gunny376 Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 Yeah I guess we all have triggers that bring up the past. You seem like your pretty in touch wih whats going on with you. That is an amazing thing. Cry away and then move forward. Knowing WHY we feel the way we do and accepting It and then letting it go in the moment is something that very few people have the ability to do. Now go out and do something fun. Something different. Every time you feel that way do a 180. Take care Prayers for you! I know your suffering! As I once was! Semper Fi!
Author sumdude Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 Its Post Traumatic Shock Syndrome ~ it gets better as the years go by. You don't get over it ~ you just learn how to live with it! Be it the lost of a wife, a father, a mother or a child? You just learn how to live with it Bro! Its a damn shame! There's no rhyme nor reason to it nor for it! It just is! Its just the way it is! Yeah, that's just the way it is. Thanks for the response, been a while since I posted here.
Gunny376 Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 I didn't mean to come off as callous and if I did my apologies. It wasn't my intent. But having plugged in a number of years on this third rock from the sun, and having gone through many of the same things that you've gone through? That really is what it comes down to? That's just the way it is. Your never going to get her out of your mind. Hopefully as time goes by? You'll think less and less about her, your Dad, your Uncle. And the others that come and go in your life. But once a part of your life? Always a part of your life. Its been eighteen going and going on nineteen years since my divorce, and there's not been a day since that her name and thoughts of her haven't crossed my mind. Don't get me wrong here? Its not that I still 'pine' for her. But she is the Mother of my children, and I was married to her for twelve years. The pain does get easier to bear. At first its like dragging a dead horse and saddle around with you everywhere you go? But eventually the load gets lighter and lighter until your just dragging around the skeleton of a dead horse and saddle, and eventually the saddle and bridle begin to rot and break away. You had a lot of what I call the "Storms of Life" roll over you one after the other in a short fashion. You had a lot to deal with in a short time. The passing of your beloved Father, (For personal reasons I'm glad you and he were able to re-connect in the end ~ Damned allergies making my eyes water and hard to type). You can bet that brought him a lot of comfort I'm here to tell you. That collage and other such things? Put them away out of sight and out of mind. Don't go digging up bones of a love long gone and over. But take a fools advice? Don't get rid of those bones either ~ no matter how strong the temptation. Just lay them to rest for now.
Author sumdude Posted October 18, 2009 Author Posted October 18, 2009 I didn't mean to come off as callous and if I did my apologies. It wasn't my intent. Its been eighteen going and going on nineteen years since my divorce, and there's not been a day since that her name and thoughts of her haven't crossed my mind. Don't get me wrong here? Its not that I still 'pine' for her. But she is the Mother of my children, and I was married to her for twelve years. The pain does get easier to bear. At first its like dragging a dead horse and saddle around with you everywhere you go? But eventually the load gets lighter and lighter until your just dragging around the skeleton of a dead horse and saddle, and eventually the saddle and bridle begin to rot and break away. You had a lot of what I call the "Storms of Life" roll over you one after the other in a short fashion. You had a lot to deal with in a short time. The passing of your beloved Father, (For personal reasons I'm glad you and he were able to re-connect in the end ~ Damned allergies making my eyes water and hard to type). You can bet that brought him a lot of comfort I'm here to tell you. That collage and other such things? Put them away out of sight and out of mind. Don't go digging up bones of a love long gone and over. But take a fools advice? Don't get rid of those bones either ~ no matter how strong the temptation. Just lay them to rest for now. No Gunny, I didn't take it as callous at all. Just the truth, sometimes I know wisdom when I see it. Those things are back where they belong, out of sight and mind. Had a conversation with my housemate the other night. Asked the question "What would you do today if you knew you would be gone tomorrow?" He said something about going to see his ex GF. My answer "I'm not totally sure but I wouldn't be anywhere near my ex wife."
dazedandconfused2008 Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Wow...this one really made me sad...because i can totally relate.... Touching responses...*sniff*....take care
2.50 a gallon Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 For me it has been 30 years since we broke up. I truthfully hadn't thought of her in years. I am now very happily in a relationship with the love of my life, and have been for 14 years. I had to keep some photos of her as they include some of the last of my grandparents, these don't bother me in the slightest. Five years ago I accidently ran into my XMIL, that caught me off guard, and threw me into a two day funk of what if's, and should have been's etc. She was apart of my life and it is just something I have to live with
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