Author Ilovecake Posted October 19, 2009 Author Posted October 19, 2009 I hate to state the 'forum obvious' you come on here for people to state their views and opinions and don't expect everyone to agree...blah de blah blah Honestly, you do come across as a bit 'off'. The amount of time and effort you have put into posting about a guy who gives you every indication that he would rather sit on a hot plate than be next to you. That comes across as a little obsessive. Just based on your few posts here I would react like he does too. You've got so much to say and have put so much thought and energy into a guy that has said two words to you. I bet he's picking up on the vibe and no matter what he does you just won't back off. Then you turn on someone because they point out that the facts don't fit your paradigm. This whole..'does he like me when he acts like he hates me' wreaks of playground mentality. Adults act like they don't like you because they don't like you. And if he's acting like this because he does like you then a sane woman would be running for the hills. IMHO, one of you is slightly 'off' but it's hard to tell which one. It's not what you said it's how you said it. That was just plain mean. How am I putting so much energy to this guy? I simply asked a question about a stranger who is acting weird towards me. Believe me I'm not that worried about it.
memorygospel Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Hmm from the info you've given this guy is either not interested in you or is extremely shy around girls which he finds attractive. This is pretty common among guys seeing that some have no problems at all speaking to a girl which they have no romantic interest in but as soon as they are in the presence of someone they have feelings for they get really nervous.
alclarkey Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I"m white and he's black, and I don't know that it would be a barrier in many cases, but this man has an enormous sense of pride, and who knows, he may have a mother who can't stand white people for all I know. As for your suggestion about throwing myself out there and asking--it sounds like good advice, but I can't imagine myself doing that--and I work with this man. I'm pretty sure I'm not gorgeous so that's probably not the problem. He is though, so that may be the problem. I have known very few black men who were afraid to talk to women, unless he was raised in a white neighborhood, and lived around, worked with, and hung out with white people his whole life. In which case he has the typical white-boy shyness.
justforfun Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 It's not what you said it's how you said it. That was just plain mean. Erm..it wasn't me you flew off the handle at. But this response just makes me think even more that you are a bit 'off'.
justforfun Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I"m white and he's black, and I don't know that it would be a barrier in many cases, but this man has an enormous sense of pride, and who knows, he may have a mother who can't stand white people for all I know. I have known very few black men who were afraid to talk to women, unless he was raised in a white neighborhood, and lived around, worked with, and hung out with white people his whole life. In which case he has the typical white-boy shyness. Didn't take long for the racial stereotypes and over inflated sense of black culture and making assumptions about a race based on limited experience reared it's ugly head. EDIT to add: My bad it took a whole 4 pages.
stepka Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Didn't take long for the racial stereotypes and over inflated sense of black culture and making assumptions about a race based on limited experience reared it's ugly head. EDIT to add: My bad it took a whole 4 pages. How is what I said a racial stereotype? I just got through reading Makes Me Wanna Holler by Nathan McCall, about a black man's experience in America, and from the sound of what he wrote, he probably wouldn't date a white woman either. Nathan is about 54, the age of the man I'm interested in, and while this man is extremely intelligent and professional, it's possible that he may have a past that he doesn't want to talk about--I say that because he has the scar of an old knife wound above his eye, and when I've asked him questions about himself, he's shut down on me. Little does he know that I have a past I'm not so proud of myself (I look terribly sheltered!), though I'm not sure how to communicate that to him. But enough about me--why are you so quick to take offense? If I were a racist, would I be interested in dating a black man? I was simply speculating about why he sometimes acts interested in me, but most of the time tries very hard to not talk to me. And my experience here may help the OP, the point of this whole exercise. Either that or I was just piggybacking off of her question.
Author Ilovecake Posted October 19, 2009 Author Posted October 19, 2009 Erm..it wasn't me you flew off the handle at. But this response just makes me think even more that you are a bit 'off'. Sorry I mistakenly quoted you, but because of the personal way you responded to my post to Johnny M I naturally assumed it was you I was originally speaking to you; my mistake. It gets a little tough differentiating between all the jaded people on this site. After a while it's all the same. If you think that me getting upset that a stranger who’s never met me called me repulsive and highly unpleasant makes me “off” than I can’t imagine what you consider being “on”.
Johnny M Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 If you think that me getting upset that a stranger who’s never met me called me repulsive and highly unpleasant makes me “off” than I can’t imagine what you consider being “on”. I think I understand what your problem is now....you're just incredibly dense, which explains why you're having such a hard time reading signals. Go back and re-read what I wrote.
justforfun Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I think I understand what your problem is now....you're just incredibly dense, which explains why you're having such a hard time reading signals. Go back and re-read what I wrote. It's gone from a question thread to a bitch at posters and get all confused over who said what and losing the plot thread. Makes the OP seem rather...erm...complicated?
justforfun Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Sorry I mistakenly quoted you, but because of the personal way you responded to my post to Johnny M I naturally assumed it was you I was originally speaking to you; my mistake. It gets a little tough differentiating between all the jaded people on this site. After a while it's all the same. If you think that me getting upset that a stranger who’s never met me called me repulsive and highly unpleasant makes me “off” than I can’t imagine what you consider being “on”. Oh boy. The more you post the more evident it becomes as to why he climbs the walls and scratches at the windows every time he finds himself in a confined space with you. You're bat$h!t mad.
alclarkey Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Didn't take long for the racial stereotypes and over inflated sense of black culture and making assumptions about a race based on limited experience reared it's ugly head. EDIT to add: My bad it took a whole 4 pages. Did I insult black people somehow? I only said black men have no problems talking to women. There's nothing wrong with that. And also how do you know what my experience with the black culture is? You've never met me. Hell I never even said what I color I am, I could be a black man sitting here typing this, and you go and pull the "racist" card. You're the one making assumptions here.
stepka Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Did I insult black people somehow? I only said black men have no problems talking to women. There's nothing wrong with that. And also how do you know what my experience with the black culture is? You've never met me. Hell I never even said what I color I am, I could be a black man sitting here typing this, and you go and pull the "racist" card. You're the one making assumptions here. Don't worry al, I think justforfun is having a field day with attacking several of us--I certainly didn't take offense at what you said. I didn't have any kind of problem with anything the OP said either, but maybe I'm not as sensitive as some.
justforfun Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Did I insult black people somehow? I only said black men have no problems talking to women. It's offensive to make generalizations about any race or culture whether those assumptions are deemed negative or positive. It's offensive to have judgments made about a whole race or culture whether those assumptions are deemed to be negative or positive. Question: do white men have problems talking to women? Can you give me a general answer to that question? Of course not. Because white men are all individuals with different responses. Now do you see? Black men are individuals too.
alclarkey Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 It's offensive to make generalizations about any race or culture whether those assumptions are deemed negative or positive. It's offensive to have judgments made about a whole race or culture whether those assumptions are deemed to be negative or positive. Question: do white men have problems talking to women? Can you give me a general answer to that question? Of course not. Because white men are all individuals with different responses. Now do you see? Black men are individuals too. Maybe you should quit putting words in my mouth eh? I said, "I have never known" meaning, of all the black men I have met, and believe me there has been more than a few, none of them have been woman-shy. I personally find trigger-happy offended people to be offensive, and lazy-brained. And yes there are a lot of white men who aren't shy, but then are a lot who are. The guys who are shy that I have known have typically been white.
justforfun Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 Did I insult black people somehow? I only said black men have no problems talking to women. There's nothing wrong with that. And also how do you know what my experience with the black culture is? You've never met me. Hell I never even said what I color I am, I could be a black man sitting here typing this, and you go and pull the "racist" card. You're the one making assumptions here. I believe that is what you said.
justforfun Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 I personally find trigger-happy offended people to be offensive, and lazy-brained. As do I find with people who are easily offended and unwilling to to question themselves. I won't post any more responses to you since there is no point trying to even make rationale reasonable points. You won't hear what you don't want to hear. And you'll only hear what you want to. So, lets just leave it and not hijack what was such an enjoyable inane thread.
alclarkey Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 As do I find with people who are easily offended and unwilling to to question themselves. I won't post any more responses to you since there is no point trying to even make rationale reasonable points. You won't hear what you don't want to hear. And you'll only hear what you want to. So, lets just leave it and not hijack what was such an enjoyable inane thread. You hijacked it so you could tell someone off.
alclarkey Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 I believe that is what you said. This is the link to my original post. You should reread it. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=2442454&postcount=53
UbiJW Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 Sounds like a CREEPER that shy stuff makes sense in fifth grade but come on. Avoid this fool like the plague. He's not into you or he is and he's a creep so either way leave it.
alclarkey Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 Sounds like a CREEPER that shy stuff makes sense in fifth grade but come on. Avoid this fool like the plague. He's not into you or he is and he's a creep so either way leave it. And that is a piss poor assumption. What do you think a shy guy is going to do? Some sort of satanic ritual? Come on. This type of stupid thinking is what makes shy guys retreat further into their holes. They are shy, they aren't anything else, unless they would have been those things had they not been shy.
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