Author Ilovecake Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 That's not true BCCA. Actually I find the way he acts kind of unattractive. If he was talkative like the other people I would be all over him a long time a go. I simply just find him aesthetically pleasing. I just got out of a long term relationship and my attraction radar is a bit rusty so I just wanted to know if that was a normal shy guy way to act.
justwantlove Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Nah, I don’t know the guy from Adam therefore I have no reason to ask him why he doesn’t like me, I really don’t care. If i confronted him it would only make the bus ride weirder. On the other hand if this is some sort of weird, shy courting ritual I want to know because he’s gorgeous. Maybe he's a vampire!?!? LMAO Thats the same thing that popped into my head!
stepka Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 Well you could try to catch his eye one day and just beam him one of your biggest and prettiest smiles. If he still responds poorly, give it up, but he might not. It's worth a try. Pick a day when you feel particularly attractive.
xpaperxcutx Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 He doesn't sound all that dateable. The only reason I ask you to confront him is to get things over with since the whole animosity is what's troubling you.
Johnny M Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 (edited) This guy's behavior doesn't sound like nervousness; nor is it what I'd consider "creepy" (although he might be a bit of an @sshole). It's clear that you rub him the wrong way. There are two likely possibilities here: 1) He finds some aspect of your appearance and/or demeanor to be highly unpleasant. I don't know how you look or carry yourself, so I'm not passing any judgment, but for whatever reason this guy finds you repulsive. 2) He suspects that you like him and the feeling is not mutual....in fact, he wouldn't date you if you were the last woman on earth. The very thought of you and him being together makes him recoil. From the information you provided, it's impossible to say what exactly is eliciting such a negative response, but I don't think you will accomplish anything by pressing the issue with this guy (except making your bus rides even more uncomfortable). The best thing to do would be to pretend that he doesn't exist. Edited October 16, 2009 by Johnny M
alclarkey Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 I used to be someone what mean (not a total ******* mind you) and maybe do a few other things to throw a woman off my trail that I wasn't interested in. I did that for her benefit because I thought leading someone on might be cruel. Later on I changed my mind and started acting friendly towards those women. In another case, there is a totally gorgeous girl at work that I have maybe uttered 5 total words to in the 2 years that I've known her. She just throws me off my game and makes me clam up for some reason. She has tried to talk to me a couple of times, but I never could hold a conversation with her. Maybe you're the second type of girl.
stepka Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 In another case, there is a totally gorgeous girl at work that I have maybe uttered 5 total words to in the 2 years that I've known her. She just throws me off my game and makes me clam up for some reason. She has tried to talk to me a couple of times, but I never could hold a conversation with her. Maybe you're the second type of girl. Yeah, so al, would you ever be able to open up to this girl? I mean, what would she have to do to get you to talk to her? This is the info that women can use.
Author Ilovecake Posted October 16, 2009 Author Posted October 16, 2009 This guy's behavior doesn't sound like nervousness; nor is it what I'd consider "creepy" (although he might be a bit of an @sshole). It's clear that you rub him the wrong way. There are two likely possibilities here: 1) He finds some aspect of your appearance and/or demeanor to be highly unpleasant. I don't know how you look or carry yourself, so I'm not passing any judgment, but for whatever reason this guy finds you repulsive. 2) He suspects that you like him and the feeling is not mutual....in fact, he wouldn't date you if you were the last woman on earth. The very thought of you and him being together makes him recoil. From the information you provided, it's impossible to say what exactly is eliciting such a negative response, but I don't think you will accomplish anything by pressing the issue with this guy (except making your bus rides even more uncomfortable). The best thing to do would be to pretend that he doesn't exist. Wow that's extremely harsh. I see absolutely no reason for you to put it that way unless you're a complete a*****e who's trying to make me feel like s**t by knocking me down.
Author Ilovecake Posted October 16, 2009 Author Posted October 16, 2009 Never mind Johnny M, I just checked out you're other posts on this site and I'm right you do come off as a completely jaded a**hole in every one of them.
Johnny M Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 (edited) Wow that's extremely harsh. I see absolutely no reason for you to put it that way unless you're a complete a*****e who's trying to make me feel like s**t by knocking me down. I may be a completely jaded @sshole, and I may not be very good at sugar coating my opinions, but you asked a question and I gave an honest, straightforward answer. Hey, sometimes the truth is not pleasant. Or did you come here looking for reassurance? In that case, forget what I said. He's acting the way he is because he thinks you are hottest woman on earth and the very sight of you gives him anxiety attacks I can tell you why the guy is acting this way because I've been in similar situations myself. Whenever I sense that a girl I'm not interested in likes me, I try to avoid her at all costs (although I try not to be overtly unfriendly). Why? Because it's easier that way. Like men, women often misjudge friendliness for attraction. If you start acting friendly, she would assume that you're interested and then you'd never be able to get rid of her. If that makes me an @sshole, so be it, but I think it's better than inadvertently leading someone on. EDIT: I thought I made it clear that I wasn't judging your appearance or demeanor (which I can't do anyway). You may be a very attractive and pleasant woman, yet there's something about you that drives him nuts. Different people react to things in different ways. So don't take it personally. I'm not saying that it's your fault or that there is something wrong with you. Edited October 16, 2009 by Johnny M
Curious-One Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Wow that's extremely harsh. I see absolutely no reason for you to put it that way unless you're a complete a*****e who's trying to make me feel like s**t by knocking me down. Wow no need to get on the guy just because he said something that didnt suite you. Face it, the guy doesnt like you! He took the only seat available next to you and than moved away as soon as another seat got open. IMO guys usually tend to WANT to sit next to girls they like. THATS just my opinion but i am sure you will get on me too and make me out to look like an ahole. If you really want to know how he feels about him, say hi and ask him a questions about work, weather , or anything...
TheLoneSock Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Does he find you attractive? Probably not. Men are hunters, they persue what they desire. Why not? Who knows, and who cares... you're intrigued because of his behavior and you find him attractive even though he's acting like a jerk. Maybe you like him because hes being a jerk. If you simply MUST know, talk to him- he's PROBABLY going to be a better source than any of us here on LS as to figuring out why he's avoiding you. Just a guess.
justforfun Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Wow that's extremely harsh. I see absolutely no reason for you to put it that way unless you're a complete a*****e who's trying to make me feel like s**t by knocking me down. I hate to state the 'forum obvious' you come on here for people to state their views and opinions and don't expect everyone to agree...blah de blah blah Honestly, you do come across as a bit 'off'. The amount of time and effort you have put into posting about a guy who gives you every indication that he would rather sit on a hot plate than be next to you. That comes across as a little obsessive. Just based on your few posts here I would react like he does too. You've got so much to say and have put so much thought and energy into a guy that has said two words to you. I bet he's picking up on the vibe and no matter what he does you just won't back off. Then you turn on someone because they point out that the facts don't fit your paradigm. This whole..'does he like me when he acts like he hates me' wreaks of playground mentality. Adults act like they don't like you because they don't like you. And if he's acting like this because he does like you then a sane woman would be running for the hills. IMHO, one of you is slightly 'off' but it's hard to tell which one.
justforfun Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 hmmmm have you in anyway shown that you are head over heels about him?
alclarkey Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Yeah, so al, would you ever be able to open up to this girl? I mean, what would she have to do to get you to talk to her? This is the info that women can use. Well for this particular girl, I think there isn't any hope, because I've pretty much put a block on her. So my advice to you is this, you see a nice guy that you would like to get to know better you have to immediately and continuously show interest, shyness will not work for you if he's shy and introverted. The longer a guy goes without talking to/asking a particular girl out, the harder it will be for him to open up. There is a solution however, you have to talk to him. Ask him if hes attracted to you. If he his stay there even through the awkward silences until he says something, or ask him out on a date. Just remember its going to awkward for a while until he warms up.
SadandConfusedWA Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Sorry to be harsh, but reality check is needed: the guy is clearly repelled by you. Repelled as in OPPOSITE of attracted. Firstly, the amount of thought you have put into this and analysis of his every single move makes it hard to believe that "you don't even look at him". He has probably caught you staring at him once or twice and doesn't want to encourage you to make the first move because he is 200% not interested. Secondly, it's kind of wacky that you would equate this situation to some kind of teenage vampire romance (yes even as a joke). Please listen to the guys on here. They speak the truth.
justforfun Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Sorry to be harsh, but reality check is needed: the guy is clearly repelled by you. Repelled as in OPPOSITE of attracted. Firstly, the amount of thought you have put into this and analysis of his every single move makes it hard to believe that "you don't even look at him". He has probably caught you staring at him once or twice and doesn't want to encourage you to make the first move because he is 200% not interested. Secondly, it's kind of wacky that you would equate this situation to some kind of teenage vampire romance (yes even as a joke). Please listen to the guys on here. They speak the truth. And the rest! :laugh: He's probably scared to death she's going to sink her fangs into his neck!
justforfun Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Just to add that the title of thread is rather apt. I can't believe it either. Piece of advice: A restraining order that arrives on February 14th is not the same as a Valentine's Card :laugh:
Brady_to_Moss Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Why do you have a crush on him? Is it only based on looks?
Ariadne Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 What do you guys think? Why does he act like he hates me? I feel like I’m back in high school. This is ridiculous. Because he is terrified of you because he doesn't like you. Men have the highest standards of beauty, so unless you are a 9 or a 10 forget it. You can be a 7 maybe, but you have to be really cute and he has to like your personality (he saw you at work etc).
stepka Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Well for this particular girl, I think there isn't any hope, because I've pretty much put a block on her. So my advice to you is this, you see a nice guy that you would like to get to know better you have to immediately and continuously show interest, shyness will not work for you if he's shy and introverted. The longer a guy goes without talking to/asking a particular girl out, the harder it will be for him to open up. There is a solution however, you have to talk to him. Ask him if hes attracted to you. If he his stay there even through the awkward silences until he says something, or ask him out on a date. Just remember its going to awkward for a while until he warms up. Wow, that's a tough one. How in the world do you determine which one he is? If he doesn't like you and you hang around to talk to him, you'll make a complete pest out of yourself, and if he does like you, you have to be totally persistent. I guess you could try the friendly but not flirtatious approach. I asked b/c I have a sort of similar situation at work, and the man does act like he likes me sometimes--has even reached out and touched me on the arm a couple of times while he was talking to me, but most days he doesn't even look up when I come in. He is a different race though and may not date outside his race.
alclarkey Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Because he is terrified of you because he doesn't like you. Men have the highest standards of beauty, so unless you are a 9 or a 10 forget it. You can be a 7 maybe, but you have to be really cute and he has to like your personality (he saw you at work etc). This shows a complete lack of understanding of the male mind. I find it way easier to talk to women I have romantic interest in. In fact the closest I have gotten to a woman was when her husband was standing right there! We shy guys are the most terrified by beautiful women. And I'll give you a little hint as to why, in a lot of movies gorgeous girls are portrayed as picky, mean and stuck up. Who wouldn't be scared to talk to them?
alclarkey Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Wow, that's a tough one. How in the world do you determine which one he is? If he doesn't like you and you hang around to talk to him, you'll make a complete pest out of yourself, and if he does like you, you have to be totally persistent. I guess you could try the friendly but not flirtatious approach. I asked b/c I have a sort of similar situation at work, and the man does act like he likes me sometimes--has even reached out and touched me on the arm a couple of times while he was talking to me, but most days he doesn't even look up when I come in. He is a different race though and may not date outside his race. What race is he and what race are you? (this does matter, some races feel differently about dating outside their race.) Also, do like I said and throw yourself out there a little bit and ask him if he interested in you that way. You have to be prepared to hear the answer you don't want to hear.
stepka Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 What race is he and what race are you? (this does matter, some races feel differently about dating outside their race.) Also, do like I said and throw yourself out there a little bit and ask him if he interested in you that way. You have to be prepared to hear the answer you don't want to hear. I"m white and he's black, and I don't know that it would be a barrier in many cases, but this man has an enormous sense of pride, and who knows, he may have a mother who can't stand white people for all I know. As for your suggestion about throwing myself out there and asking--it sounds like good advice, but I can't imagine myself doing that--and I work with this man. I'm pretty sure I'm not gorgeous so that's probably not the problem. He is though, so that may be the problem.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 (edited) Piece of advice: A restraining order that arrives on February 14th is not the same as a Valentine's Card :laugh: Dammit. Doesn't the date mean ANYTHING to you people? SURELY, he sent it that day to send me a message that he TRULY does care and wants me to get closer. :love: Rrrrreeeooowwwrrr Edited October 19, 2009 by SoulSearch_CO
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