Ilovecake Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Does he find me attractive? There is a guy “Chris” who works at my company that I have a mad crush on. We don't actually work together. The only time I see him is around the office building and he rides the bus with me almost every day. Because we have scheduled buses to and from work it's always the same few people on the same bus so even if we don't know each other we tend to make small talk or at least acknowledge each other. Not this guy however. He talks to everyone on the bus but me. Mind you I’ve probably been riding this bus for a shooter time than the rest of the people but they have all had at least a bit of a conversation with me, it’s a long bus ride. This guy Chris however avoids me like the plague. Now I’m not hideous, I shower every morning and brush my teeth. If I get on and make eye contact with him he looks petrified and always looks away very quickly. He spoke to me once and that was when I was going to sit in a wet seat, all he said was “wet seat”. He will go out of his way not to sit next to me. Last week there was only one open seat available on the way to work and it was next to me. He sat there fidgeting for a half an hour and looked like he was going to jump out of his skin. As soon as another seat became available he moved. I’ve never seen him do that before. There is no reason for this guy not to like me so I’m assuming his behavior is some sort of nervousness. I don’t stare at him, I’ve never tried to talk to him, as a matter of fact I started avoiding being close to him to make him more comfortable. Yesterday I was running really late for the bus and got on a second before it took off. He looked up and I swear I saw a tiny smirk on his lips. I think he might be a bit younger than me but not much and I don’t look my age. The only other difference is that he’s what you would consider very preppy and I’m a bit more “alternative” looking so I can see him not being attracted to me. I did see him checking out a girl once, she was blonde and beautiful and young but had a bit of a rock and roll edge to her. I’m about 15 years older than this girl and a red head. What do you guys think? Why does he act like he hates me? I feel like I’m back in high school. This is ridiculous.
Agoraphobianebula Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 m'eh, who the hell knows why he avoids you? Have you tried intiating conversation with him? A mere "hello, I don't think we've been formally introduced" will suffice.
Yukikazi Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 If he hated you or didn't care either way he would probably act more aloof.. if he is avoiding eye contact or any interaction.. he is either really shy with you.. knows what you want but thinks this way is safer to avoid entanglements. Force the issue and ask him if he has a problem with you since he seems to act differently with you compared to everyone else.. brutal honesty is sometimes the best way.. just like the way to a persons heart is between the 5th and 6th ribs...
Author Ilovecake Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 The way he acts I feel like if I try to talk to him he'll kick me or pull my hair or something. We had a problem with one of the busses one morning and it kept breaking down, everyone was grumbling. Something was going on with the breaks. That day he was sitting behind me and right before we get to work the bust started filling up with smoke and I turned around and said “I guess we’re on fire”. He just grunted back at me and then we got off the bus and walked the rest of the way to work. He actually walked on the other side of the street from me.
xpaperxcutx Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Wow, clear aversion right here. Yes this guy hates you, the question is, why? I honestly can say I've never seen such a behaviour had I not experienced it myself back in the 5th grade. This guy apparently finds something wrong with you, and with all this negativity in the morning, I can understand why you're emotionally affected. Like the posters above me, I would suggest you find a good time and place to confront him face to face. At least get things in the open so you don't always have to run and hide everytime you get on the bus.
BCCA Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Sounds like hes not interested. Who knows why, but if he avoids you - hes not interested.
Lizzie60 Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 You got nothing to lose to ask him straight up : Why do you hate me? what have I done to you?
BCCA Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Like the posters above me, I would suggest you find a good time and place to confront him face to face. At least get things in the open so you don't always have to run and hide everytime you get on the bus. Whats the point of that? He doesnt owe you an explination, hes just not interested. Leave well enough alone. Women complain that guys dont take a hint...
BCCA Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 You got nothing to lose to ask him straight up : Why do you hate me? what have I done to you? And what is his answer going to tell you? Its pointless.
Lizzie60 Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 And what is his answer going to tell you? Its pointless. I know.. but she has nothing to lose in asking .. at least she'll know... but you have a good point..
ecm Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Sounds creepy to me. Did you tell someone else that you had a crush on him? Maybe he knows.
BCCA Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 I know.. but she has nothing to lose in asking .. at least she'll know... but you have a good point.. I agree with the 'nothing to lose' part of it, its just that I cant think of an answer to 'why do you hate me?' that I would want to hear lol
Author Ilovecake Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 Nah, I don’t know the guy from Adam therefore I have no reason to ask him why he doesn’t like me, I really don’t care. If i confronted him it would only make the bus ride weirder. On the other hand if this is some sort of weird, shy courting ritual I want to know because he’s gorgeous. Maybe he's a vampire!?!?
Author Ilovecake Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 Sounds creepy to me. Did you tell someone else that you had a crush on him? Maybe he knows. Nope, nobody knows and I really don't pay that much attention to him as I'm usually reading a book. Maybe he's offended by the books I read. Who knows, it's just weird I've never had a stranger act that way around me, well not a grown up one.
BCCA Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Nah, I don’t know the guy from Adam therefore I have no reason to ask him why he doesn’t like me, I really don’t care. If i confronted him it would only make the bus ride weirder. On the other hand if this is some sort of weird, shy courting ritual I want to know because he’s gorgeous. Maybe he's a vampire!?!? I would bet everything I own that this is in no way any sort of courting ritual. I realize he is attractive, but he doesnt seem interested in you. You just have to chalk it up, and move on with life.
Author Ilovecake Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 So you don't think it's the vampire theory either?
lonelyandfrustrated Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 I've dealt with this in my adult life, and the guy was totally insecure. He HATED me, was wrathful toward me, and ended up getting fired. I'm a girl, he's a guy...I don't get the hatred. He never hit on me or anything, he was just a total a$$ toward me until the customers (and then the boss) had enough and got rid of him. Some people are like that. They get their chance at bat like anyone else. They swing, they suck, they're out. Leave it to karma, or chance, or whatever you believe. It WILL resolve, without any doing of your own.
BCCA Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 So you don't think it's the vampire theory either? I dont get the joke lol
Yukikazi Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Not that many vamps live in the windy city I doubt.. though I have met a few wannabe's myself... if you like the type.. try Exit on North Ave But remember its the CTA.. just riding it will make a person irritable (our weather dosen't help much).. but you never mentioned the return trip.. is it just as bad or is he only a surly prick in the mornings? Though if the guy is as you describe him... mahaps you should just leave well enough alone and let him be... But think about it this way.. if you have the impression that he could just turn around and clock you for asking a question.. is that really the sort of guy you wanna get involved with? By this point the only thing attracting you to him is his attitude and looks... typical bad boy.. maybe this is all a well thought out and sneaky plot to get in your pants.. *shrug* Or can go scientific.. there are just some ppl that put off chemical pheromones that are incompatible with others.. maybe he smells something in you that really turns him off...
ecm Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 It's just weird. If I don't care about someone at all, I just don't pay them any attention. He is definitely acting weird...which just scares me a little. You could just go up to him and say hi (I think someone else said that, too) and see what happens. THEN, if he's rude, you could ask why. But introducing yourself asking why he's weird toward you is weirdER since you don't know him..yet. Or just go up to him and start making out with him?
Agoraphobianebula Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Seriously, go and introduce yourself. You are probably just misreading his actions/inactions/reactions. YOU take the initiative, I know...novel idea huh? but think of how he feels.
Author Ilovecake Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 But remember its the CTA.. just riding it will make a person irritable (our weather dosen't help much).. but you never mentioned the return trip.. is it just as bad or is he only a surly prick in the mornings? In the afternoon as well, but it's not surly he acts like I scare the living crap out of him. That's what's so confusing. If it was just surly I would chock it up to him being some random jerk on the bus. We actually take the Pace Bus together to the blue line and he will not get in the same car as me if he can help it. I have never had any interaction with the guy besides "wet seat". We work for the same company but do not work together (we have thousands of employees). He doesn't come off as dangerous just really uncomfortable when I'm around. That’s why I made the stupid Vampire joke because it reminds me of that character in the Twilight movie and it's so high school.
Author Ilovecake Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 Seriously, go and introduce yourself. You are probably just misreading his actions/inactions/reactions. YOU take the initiative, I know...novel idea huh? but think of how he feels. Normally I would say that's a great idea but I don't know how to approach the guy. I’m not freaked out by the way he acts I just wish he was more approachable. Maybe there was a time where he caught me staring at him and was like “I hope this strange woman doesn’t try to talk to me” so he started acting uncomfortable. When it comes down to it it’s not really a big deal I was just wondering if guys in their 30s act that way when they’re interested in a woman. When I have the opportunity I guess I'll try and make small talk again. I usually approach people I don't know with some silly joke, I'm not much for just coming out and introducing myself out of the blue.
Yukikazi Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 You could always try sweets... Bring a bag of something and share a few with your fellow passangers.. offer him some and see how he reacts.. He will either accept it with a smile and maybe open up or act the way you describe... if he continues to act like that.. you may as well write him off as a waste of time.
BCCA Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 I think from now on, Im going to act just like him lol I mean honestly, there are like 4 women here trying to decipher his motives, and everyone seems to be leaning toward you making a move. Chances are, if he was normal and interested, you wouldnt be lol Us normal guys cant win...
Recommended Posts