Ready4Change Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 My exboyfriend is 12 years older then me & when we first met he was seperated but legally married in the "process of getting a divorce." He finally got the divorce & ironically she ended up dying so we officially started dating. Throughout our relationship I constantly dealt with him being inconsistent & unreliable meaning he sometimes didn't answer his phone & wasn't there for me when mom mom passed. Yet, he always talked talkedabout how much he loved me and wanted me in his life. Anyway, because he didn't call, come by to check on me, no card/flowers or nothing when my mom passed I faded him out, but 8 months later his dad ended up passing so we started back communicating. Now he says again I am all that he wants in a woman, loves me & wants to marry me. The other day via text I said lets just go to the justice of peace & get married. He instantly replied yes and how that is all he has ever wanted & how he is going to treat me like a queen. We texted until around 3am. Yet the very next day I did not hear anything via phone nor text the entire day. He waited until the following day after that to send a one line text to tell me he was about to go bowling. Many of my friend's feel he is crazy because of other ways he has responded. Yet a little part of me does love him. He doesn't live near me anymore because he moved to help his mom at his hometown when his dad passed. His words are everything I want, but his actions fall short. I've told him over the years several times that actions speak louder then words. He usually sends me a card, gift or flowers to get me back communicating with him & I usually do so we start the relationship cycle. One more thing is in the past he lied about having a blackplanet page but I saw that he did & had all these female friends, but when I confronted him he said he was only there for ministry purposes. Then he said he would delete it, but I just recently asked him if he still had a page and he does(but he has it set so I can not search for him). Also, I found a love card at his house one time from a girl I suspected he was messing around with. He took the card and Slammed Dunked it in the garbage & did a big show on how nothing has ever happened between them and if anything she wanted him. I later spoke with the girl & she told me she has spent the night over his house several times, seen his naked body, gotten full body massages & been on his bed on the floor, etc. He of course denied everything & said she was just jealous of our relationship. She has now died so I can never asks her side again, but to this day he always denies anything between them. Most of the time I try to talk about issues he gets defenseful & says I am trying to let the enemy mess up our relationship. Yet he still keeps pressing about how much he loves me, wants to marry me, & realizes it more now that his dad passed. Should I just completely cut all ties? We faded in & out so much over the years, but I miss him when we don't communicate.
mushmush Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 ummm no no no no.. How can you even consider marrying with so many doubts?? you deserve better. You will meet someone better and wonder why you were with this douch at all.
Author Ready4Change Posted October 18, 2009 Author Posted October 18, 2009 lol...thanks...I just broke it off officially today & now I really realize he was not worth it because he was so quick to change his status back to single on his facebook page & in search of women. Yet, he was the one who just said recently how much he loved me& wasn't going to ever let me go...indeed it was & is TIME for CHANGE!!! Thanks again! I just blocked him on facebook & about to delete him out of my phone...yet I feel like I am the one who got dumped...why does making the decision to move on hurt so bad when you know it's the right thing to do?
muse08 Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 just read your thread and will say that he really does sound like a weirdo...ughhh.i agree with MUSHMUSH also, when you have so much DOUBT, it's best to do WITHOUT... he wasn't there for you when you needed him...he wasn't returning your phone calls and he played these little childish games...and all he can say is "you're letting THE ENEMY come btwn us". first of all, who is the enemy, his split personality??? for goodness sake...you deserve way better than this crazio. you've done the right thing by letting him go. NC(no contact) with him will be a challenge but it's worth it.remember though, NC isn't meant for people to get back together though he may try. so many men go chasing as soon as you ignore them...don't know what that's about but i see a lot of that here in L.S. or in LIFE in general. you will be fine as soon as you realize how much of a better man you DESERVE!
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