brock9911 Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 well my mind hasnt wandered away from thinking about my ex, especially with her showing up at my house this past saturday hysterical and having an anxiety attack becasue she wanted to know what our status/future was going to hold. now this is all happening while another girl im hanging out with is inside. i calmly told her that i cant be with her now or ever for what she had done. she asked y i stopped caring for her and showing her attention and i told her because she cheated...she than goes to ask y i became cold and distant b4 that. i told her b4 i found out she cheated, my friends told me a year b4 they caught her making out with her ex b/f...and 3 years b4 she got caught, she tried hooking up with my friend in my own bed. i said what did i do for you to become so unloyal and decietful. long story short, i told her i couldnt do this, the conversation, a relationship...i couldnt live with myself knowing shes been soiled by another. she broke down crying and i felt like sh*t. i still do and cant stop thinking about it. now this other girl saw i was extremely pissed and wanted to know why. i explained what happened and she was annoyed, but what ever im over it, nothing i could do about it. now this girl is growing very attatched and likes me...ALOT. im not ready for anything. i was just looking to chill and what ever have you...nothing too serious. im not sure what to say or do, i feel bad to let her down... y the f*ck do i always car about everyone else but myself
Leveller Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 I think your doing the right thing in saying and doing what you did but as I'm sure you know this probably will not be the end of the matter.
GrayClouds Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Pardon me but I going to repeat myself... Quote: Originally Posted by brock9911 1- why do i feel bad abiout my ex... she dumped me for cheating when it was her who cheated. 2- now this new girl is upset cuz she thinks im not over my ex. i told the new girl im not ready for a relationship, but we can hang out and talk that's fine by me. shes moving in way to quickly. and so what if im not over her, i still cant get back with her...she ruined things a long time ago 1. Because you cared for her and despite your terrible roar and gnashing of teeth your a deep emotion guy. And part of your relationship with her was you taking care of her problems, you were her white knight, a habit that is difficult to stop. Just because you can now see she is a car accident in process it does not mean you like to see her bloody. 2. That is her problem. I suspect this girl is half into you because your a challenge, not to say your not a great catch with your brooding yet sensitive rock star demeanor. Right now she likes the chase of trying to win over the heartbroken guy. Being pissed is one of the tools. This girl may be Mother Theressa in a mini skirt, but I would be very careful of this one. I mean no disrespect of her but I suspect she the type who will bail once the challenge is over (follow by a new "She left for No Reason" thread) Happy healthy people do not want to get involve with the heartbroken and unavailable. Let alone be upset because they are still working through their heartbreak. She knew the score coming in and she already being this selfish now!!!! Protect yourself from this one, better yet, tell her you will call her when your ready. Just like the drugs, booze, bad drama producing friends friends,she's just another distraction. Not that they do not offer pleasure, it is just often their generally counter productive. "Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it."-Someone else who is smarter then me y the f*ck do i always car about everyone else but myself You know why. Because its a bad habit, no longer useful coping skill. Somewhere long ago you learn if you take care of everyone around you and make them happy then you will be ok. It is not working out that way any more, in fact the opposite is happening. Again, this talent of your of care for others is being wasted on those who don't desire it but has become a distraction from yourself and the real work you need to do. The difficult work starts when you focus on your own needs. It is very hard, takes great courage, the results are long term, incremental and not instantly rewarding.
Recommended Posts