mike19541 Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 hi all, so me and my current girlfriend have been going out for awhile now, and i'd say we are pretty serious. i had started going out with her before i had fully recovered from my last relationship (i got dumped), so there has been a lot of trust issues. i had lost my virginity to my ex-girlfriend so there was somewhat of an emotional attachment as you can imagine. i took my current girlfriends virginity (i'm her first serious relationship as well). current girlfriend hates that i'm her first, but she's not my first. it had been bugging her for a long time. so tonight she calls me and says that it will help her "get over it" if she has sex with a random person, so that she will be "neutral" with me, then it will just be me and her. (she is only the 2nd girl i have been with) i was in such shock because this is basically like cheating is it not? it makes me sick to think of another guy putting his hands on her. and sad at the same time. what should i do?
BookerT Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Are you really sure she's a virgin? Did she bleed, did you break her hymen? That sounds so extreme. No one in their right mind would ask something like that, especially if they just lost their virginity.......
TaraMaiden Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 jeesh! if her priorities stem from how many partners you've had, and totting up the totals, she has absolutely no right to be in a relationship at all! sex is a part of a relationship. A principal part, yes, but only a part. Why is this such an issue for her? I think she has some screwy ideas, or messed up notions of life in general. So if she ever meets a guy with 10 exes, she's going to want to sleep with another 8 guys, is she? Unbelievable..... Tell her she can sleep with whoever she likes - but she won't be coming back to you.
seoa Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 i had started going out with her before i had fully recovered from my last relationship (i got dumped), so there has been a lot of trust issues. i had lost my virginity to my ex-girlfriend so there was somewhat of an emotional attachment as you can imagine. ...so that she will be "neutral" with me, then it will just be me and her. Sounds like you & your girlfriend agree that you are still hung up on your ex... She is doing this to get the third person out of your relationship... I don't know if she really means it, or is trying to get through to you how unfair it is that you are dating her in what appears to be a serious way, while not really trying to get over the ex... Why does she feel the ex is still a third person in your relationship, and what can you realistically do to sort that out...?
Author mike19541 Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 Sounds like you & your girlfriend agree that you are still hung up on your ex... She is doing this to get the third person out of your relationship... I don't know if she really means it, or is trying to get through to you how unfair it is that you are dating her in what appears to be a serious way, while not really trying to get over the ex... Why does she feel the ex is still a third person in your relationship, and what can you realistically do to sort that out...? i've been over the ex for a while now, she is the one who keeps bringing her up. and she is stuck on the idea that sleeping with someone else will solve everything. are there any other solutions besides sex?
TaraMaiden Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 That, my friend, you will have to find out from her..... Why is she so hung up on this? Why does she believe that having sex with some random person will make it different? Of course, it will be different in that she will just be having sex, with said 'random person'... whereas, you had sex with someone you cared about..... so does this mean, you should also have sex with another random person, so that you have a similar experience to hers....? And so on, and so on, and so on... She has to sort herself out.... this is nuts....
TaraMaiden Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 (I was thinking the same thing......) If she can consider doing this, while you're supposed to be building a relationship, I'd drop her like a hot brick. She needs to explain herself...just how is she going to go about finding this 'random person'....? I think there's someone else she's interested in, and all this "you've had 2 lovers, so I want two as well" is just a front..... Yup. Yuk.
leap83 Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Listen to TaraMaiden. She knows what she's talking about. And I would break-up with her right away. Relationship is not a competition and she seems to view it like that. She needs to grow up.
GroupFitness Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 aaahh, youth!, let me guess, she is 18 right?
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