tigressA Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 "What is he?" (in terms of race). I get this question more often than people would expect when I mention a guy I'm interested in or currently dating. And what's more, when I ask, "Why does it matter?" they say, "Oh, no, it totally doesn't, I don't care" or some other BS. Hello! If you really didn't care; if it really didn't matter, you wouldn't even have asked the question, so obviously in some measure it does matter to you! I am so sick of getting that question. I never am the one to mention race when I'm talking about a guy I'm crushing on or dating; it's always other people. At least I'm getting a bit of satisfaction in watching them put their foot in their mouth when I ask them why it matters. It still ticks me off though.
BookerT Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Huh? You live in an area that's very multi racial? I never hear anyone ask about race.
D-Lish Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 I have never asked a friend the race of the person they are dating. I can't for ther life of me figure out why anyone would think of asking such a question prior to meeting the person you are dating.
Author tigressA Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 No, not really. I go to college in an area that's majority (though not sure how much of a majority) white. The college population itself is overwhelmingly white, though there has been a pretty dramatic increase in the number of minorities attending due to local scholarship programs and whatnot. I myself am of mixed race--black and white. I get this question from white and black people alike.
Johnny M Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 I myself am of mixed race--black and white. That explains why you get the question so frequently.
aerogurl87 Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 No, not really. I go to college in an area that's majority (though not sure how much of a majority) white. The college population itself is overwhelmingly white, though there has been a pretty dramatic increase in the number of minorities attending due to local scholarship programs and whatnot. I myself am of mixed race--black and white. I get this question from white and black people alike. My sister always asks me that same question when I tell her I'm interested in or dating someone new. It's gotten so annoying that now I don't even want to tell her about my love life and I consider her to be one of my best friends. Anyway, don't let it get to you, some people are still living in the past and have yet to catch up with the present.
Author tigressA Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 That explains why you get the question so frequently. Not totally--it can for those who actually know my racial/ethnic background. But I also get the question from people who don't know what my background is and who even assume that it's completely different from what it is--I get so many people assuming I'm Indian it's, well, funny.
BookerT Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 That explains why you get the question so frequently. Agreed..... Don't worry, mixed is hot! There's just a downside to mixed kids. My half brother is mixed and hence I'm aware of the situation.
Author tigressA Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 Agreed..... Don't worry, mixed is hot! Haha, I do know that. This isn't about being found attractive/unattractive. I know I'm hot.
boldjack Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Sounds to me, Tigeress, like you have a fair sized, mixed race chip on your shoulder. I think that I speak for most posters, in saying, who gives a sh*t.
D-Lish Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Sounds to me, Tigeress, like you have a fair sized, mixed race chip on your shoulder. I think that I speak for most posters, in saying, who gives a sh*t. Exactly. Haha, I do know that. This isn't about being found attractive/unattractive. I know I'm hot. So, besides the need to brag ~ what's the point here?
Author tigressA Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 (edited) Exactly. So, besides the need to brag ~ what's the point here? The point? Did you not read the initial post? I'm just annoyed that I get that question so often when it shouldn't matter, and then those same people who ask me that question try to come off like it doesn't when I question them about it. You yourself said that you wouldn't ever even think to ask someone that question. Now that I think of it, this should probably be in the personal rants and confessions section. Edited October 15, 2009 by tigressA
boldjack Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Oh...OK... Now I get it. Tigeress is a really, really hot mixed-race woman, who is sick and tired of racial questions. First thing, this should be on the "rant", forum, second, if you don't like to talk about race, why did you open a racial thread?
boldjack Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 BTW, I' very glad you are so hot. Congatulations.:)
D-Lish Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 The point? Did you not read the initial post? I'm just annoyed that I get that question so often when it shouldn't matter, and then those same people who ask me that question try to come off like it doesn't when I question them about it. You yourself said that you wouldn't ever even think to ask someone that question. I wouldn't. Wouldn't occur to me. I also wouldn't feel the need to post " I am hot"!? What does that have to do with anything? I don't get why anyone would think to ask you about the race of the person you are dating. It seems very silly.
Johnny M Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 The point? Did you not read the initial post? I'm just annoyed that I get that question so often when it shouldn't matter, and then those same people who ask me that question try to come off like it doesn't when I question them about it. You yourself said that you wouldn't ever even think to ask someone that question. Now that I think of it, this should probably be in the personal rants and confessions section. Why do you get so bothered by this question? Is it the frequency with which it's being asked, or are you uncomfortable talking about race?
Author tigressA Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 if you don't like to talk about race, why did you open a racial thread? Good point...touche, boldjack. And the "hot" thing--did you not see after that sentence? I was just responding to what BookerT said in what I thought would be an amusing way is all.
boldjack Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Sokay, Tigeress, I happen to think that you are a hottie, too. If that's you in your avie.
Author tigressA Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 Why do you get so bothered by this question? Is it the frequency with which it's being asked, or are you uncomfortable talking about race? I'm not uncomfortable talking about race--okay, I realized that my "Good point...touche" post to boldjack isn't right, because I do like to have open, frank conversations about it. It just really annoys me when I bring up the valid point that obviously, since they're asking me that question, it must matter to them somehow, and they insist that it doesn't. I'd actually feel much better about it if people were upfront and said something like, "Well yes, it does matter to me. I do think about these things. I'm curious because of your own background" or whatever else. But of course, no one really does that. I guess I could be constructive with it and ask them why they want to know, and engage them in an open discussion about whatever curiosities they have. But then again I have tried to do that and I got things like this: a guy friend of mine asked me if black girls' pubic hair was exactly the same as the hair on their head (like nappy, etc). So it's just frustrating a lot of the time.
boldjack Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Since I've date/lived with a couple of black women, this is a non-issue for me, I guess that's why I'm being flippant about it.
Johnny M Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 I'm not uncomfortable talking about race--okay, I realized that my "Good point...touche" post to boldjack isn't right, because I do like to have open, frank conversations about it. It just really annoys me when I bring up the valid point that obviously, since they're asking me that question, it must matter to them somehow, and they insist that it doesn't. I'd actually feel much better about it if people were upfront and said something like, "Well yes, it does matter to me. I do think about these things. I'm curious because of your own background" or whatever else. But of course, no one really does that. I guess I could be constructive with it and ask them why they want to know, and engage them in an open discussion about whatever curiosities they have. But then again I have tried to do that and I got things like this: a guy friend of mine asked me if black girls' pubic hair was exactly the same as the hair on their head (like nappy, etc). So it's just frustrating a lot of the time. Oh I see. I think people these days have become so scared of being labeled "racist" that they would never admit that race matters, even though it does to most people.
Author tigressA Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 Oh I see. I think people these days have become so scared of being labeled "racist" that they would never admit that race matters, even though it does to most people. Yes. That's basically what I was getting at. Thanks for summing it up so well. I got a suggestion from a more enlightened friend to deal with it humorously--next time I get that "What is he?" question I could just say, "A man."
boldjack Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Well, if you said a "horse", that would really get them to thinking;)
Author tigressA Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 Well, if you said a "horse", that would really get them to thinking;) That's a great idea. I should try that one!
boldjack Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Funny story, when I was dating Kathy (black) her brother Dan was dating a white girl, Julie. We went to this really upscale restaurant in Dallas. When the host came to seat us , he seated Dan and Kathy together, and Julie and I together. When we switched seats, he informed us that there was a problem in the kitchen and the restaurant was closing, so we would have to leave.
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