lsb Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I messed up. I really really messed up. It is so stupid. So immature. I seriously have issues. I need to drop this. Just get over it and done with it. I need some help with this.
Author lsb Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 Wow. Is it okay I just ramble here. Looking back on my life. I can't let things go. Especially guys. I feel sick to my stomach right now. Because the last relationship was intense. Okay. And I dumped him but still I do not know why is still hard for me to let go. He kept pursing me and kept doing it and after a while you start to seriously, seriously question your decision. I literally blocked almost everything. And yet, I do not know why I faltered alot this month with thinking of him, feeling very depressed and basically obsessively looking at his online information and talking about him to my family. I NEED to stop. This is no longer optional. It isn't funny, it isn't cute, it's not good. I have been hurting myself. Only myself. This whole time. I haven't been trying. I need to just do this for myself. I need to remember. I need to just stop.
Author lsb Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 Yes Sorta Kinda. Not directly. It was an away message. Nothing too direct, but I think obvious enough that I knew he would see it. And more importantly I did do it for him to see it. And it is pathetic. I fully admit to this. And do see I have a problem. so yeah. All indirect stuff needs to stop. Like I have been talking about him and looking at his stuff online. Most of it is nothing he would know about but I KNOW and it is doing me no good.
JaggedRoad Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Is talking to him an option for you right now?
Author lsb Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 honestly anyone else feel like they get total OCD after a relationship. like what the hell is wrong with me?
Author lsb Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 NO! I cannot talk to him. Not at all. He has a girlfriend. And besides. It is over. He was bad for me. He has issues too. This needs to be done and over with. I was mainly just talking about the mental crap that is all left over. I know I don't really want to get back with him. I need to chill.
JaggedRoad Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I was OCD for the first 2 weeks, but I stopped when I realized that looking at her blogs, social networks, and pictures weren't going to make her come back to me. I still pursued her though. I think your conscience is starting to eat at you. I'm sorry, but that's what it looks like after reading through a couple of your threads.
ladymistique Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 The OCD thing is totally normal. I think everyone goes through it, I know I did . What eventually happens is that you realize that giving into those compulsions (looking at an ex's profile online, talking about him or her, seeking out mutual acquaintances for a nugget of information) will always set you back. Even if you hear something that you think is good (like he or she is single or whatever), if does not help because deep down, you know you eventually will hear or see something you don't want to hear or see. Even it that doesn't happen, you realize that giving in those urges do not change anything and keeps you in bad mental state. At first, resisting those urges take alot of willpower and discipline....after awhile, those urges simply fade away.
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