pandagirl Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Who here has dated a musician before? Was out for drinks with a couple of my girlfriends last night. We're all single and started talking about dating and we have all had the experience of dating a musician. We're not talking super famous musicians, but guys who are in bands, put out an album or two and go on tour once in a while. Conclusion? DON'T DATE DUDES IN BANDS. Of course, there will always be the exception, but being in a band seems to stunt your maturity levels tenfold.
Soul Bear Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I'm a solo musician, amongst many other things, and I have to say that I agree with your statement for the most part. I'm an exception to that rule tho! Also, it really depends WHAT kind of band they were in. If it's some punk or rock band then I would agree with you...but what about someone who does soul,folk, jazz and blues...Obviously this type of person is going to have a Soul and be awares... Just some food for thought
sb129 Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 BTDT, got the T-shirt. It was fun while I was in my 20s, I found I moved on and needed alot more out of the Rs as I got older, while the musicians were happy to stay where they were for as long as they could.
Ilovecake Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 You know what. I'm 39 and have dated only one non musician in my entire life. They're all the same and they’re all different; when it comes down to it it's just another job/hobby. I don’t think the fact that they play music has anything to do with how they are in relationships. It’s like saying don’t date postal workers or poets or guys who jog.
sb129 Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Yeah I guess so, its just I moved out of the "scene" so to speak, therefore I met less people involved in it. It was nice to branch out in the end! I miss that life sometimes, but its not a life that I personally could have maintained long term.
Kamille Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Ooh boy have I dates musicians. Of course, like Ilovecake points out, we shouldn't generalize, but at the same time, I think the music scene attracts perticular personnalities. The music scene is linked to the party scene, so a lot of musicians are really big into parting. Plus, very few actually make a good living with their music, which makes them even more afraid of settling down and raising a family. And when they finally decide to do it, the lack of steady income is a constant source of stress. A musician I know once joked: what's the difference between a musician and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family.
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Who here has dated a musician before? Was out for drinks with a couple of my girlfriends last night. We're all single and started talking about dating and we have all had the experience of dating a musician. We're not talking super famous musicians, but guys who are in bands, put out an album or two and go on tour once in a while. Conclusion? DON'T DATE DUDES IN BANDS. Of course, there will always be the exception, but being in a band seems to stunt your maturity levels tenfold. As a guy... I 100% concur. Men in bands are major douchbags... even the fat ugly ones. All my friends agree. Band guys are worthless pricks. They are usually massive pussys too.
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Ooh boy have I dates musicians. Of course, like Ilovecake points out, we shouldn't generalize, but at the same time, I think the music scene attracts perticular personnalities. The music scene is linked to the party scene, so a lot of musicians are really big into parting. Plus, very few actually make a good living with their music, which makes them even more afraid of settling down and raising a family. And when they finally decide to do it, the lack of steady income is a constant source of stress. A musician I know once joked: what's the difference between a musician and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family. Oh no! This is one you can safely generalize on.
Author pandagirl Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 Plus, very few actually make a good living with their music, which makes them even more afraid of settling down and raising a family. And when they finally decide to do it, the lack of steady income is a constant source of stress. Yeah, this is what I'm finding as I'm broke into my 30s. In your 20s musicians are fun, hot and sexy. In your 30s, they're kind of sad, because they have no idea how to operate in the real world and lost when it comes to figuring out what to do with their life.
Thornton Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 The problem with musicians is that they seem to have too many opportunities to cheat. Girls see them on stage, and that somehow makes them seem desirable and charismatic, so they throw themselves at them. I've dated a few musicians in the past, and without exception they partied hard and cheated. My current bf is interested in music, he writes songs but doesn't perform, and he seems faithful. So I think the problem in terms of infidelity is the performing on stage, not the actual interest in music.
sumdude Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 So what about a 40 year old man with a good career day job, money in savings who also happens to still play in a band professionally a few nights a month?
sumdude Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 So I think the problem in terms of infidelity is the performing on stage, not the actual interest in music. It's the individual performing on stage, not the performing itself.
Soul Bear Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 ugh...this thread is pissing me off big time. Some of these replys are COMPLETELY irrational. I'm a musician, I play acoustic 6 string & 12 string, and I sing, and I do it alone. I'm also a business Entrepreneur and am about to start a course to become a qualified Personal Trainer/Fitness Instructor. It's a huge sweeping genralisation to make about musicians. In fact, my mums brother used to be In Battlefield Band, and he is a complete gentleman, has lots of money and runs a farm, on top of controlling his 8 kids and his wife. Grrrrrr....some of you sound like real douchebags...very small minded of you.
Soul Bear Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Not every musician is dirt poor and acts like a kid, living the rock n' roll lifestyle.
AlektraClementine Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I dated musicians my entire dating life for the most part. I'm marrying a sound guy. The end.
GorillaTheater Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 on top of controlling his 8 kids and his wife. And a harder job there never was.
Author pandagirl Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 Some musicians makes great husbands and dads, of course. And don't even get me started on dating FAILED musicians. Those are even worse!
tkgirl Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 ugh...this thread is pissing me off big time. Some of these replys are COMPLETELY irrational. I'm a musician, I play acoustic 6 string & 12 string, and I sing, and I do it alone. I'm also a business Entrepreneur and am about to start a course to become a qualified Personal Trainer/Fitness Instructor. It's a huge sweeping genralisation to make about musicians. In fact, my mums brother used to be In Battlefield Band, and he is a complete gentleman, has lots of money and runs a farm, on top of controlling his 8 kids and his wife. Grrrrrr....some of you sound like real douchebags...very small minded of you. I MUSICIANS!!! although, I think I'm officially done with dating them after the last guy. He was very cute, sweet, soulful etc. etc. but did not know how to be in a "real" relationshipe to save his life... I mean, IMHO! me thinks that "back in the day" he used to get a lot of tail.. you know, groupies and all that.. and never had to work hard to get a girl. Well, that was then and I'm nobody's groupie... and he couldn't handle it that I wouldn't just throw myself at him whenever he bothered to show me a little attention... but like, that's my perception and could be a little bitter still!
sumdude Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I dated musicians my entire dating life for the most part. I'm marrying a sound guy. The end. LOL I'm both a musician and an audio engineer. The sound man always gets paid!
sb129 Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Hey, SoulBear, no offense. Maybe I should have said the musicians I know. And of course there were other things contributing to the R breakdowns, I wouldn't not date someone on occupation alone. I just don't meet that many musicians anymore, and I am married etc, and that is not my scene so much now. Life changes, you know?
tryagaintoday Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 I with Soulbear on this. Stop generalising musicians! I'm nothing like all of you are saying. Well, maybe for sb129's "happy to stay where they are for as long as they could". This one is spot on. But I'm trying and changing....
Author pandagirl Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 Some common qualities of guys in bands that i have witnessed: -used to lots of attention -used to traveling a lot, can't stay in one place -rarely has had a real, steady 9-5 job -not used to a lot of responsibility -after music career ends, they are lost and bitter -thinks cheating is not a big deal, because it is around them so much
AlektraClementine Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 LOL I'm both a musician and an audio engineer. The sound man always gets paid! And they behave on the road (IMO). Gotta have that.
AlektraClementine Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Some of us aren't generalizing due to the simple fact that we have experience. So we're not necessarily speculating. My father was a drummer, grampa a guitarist, grandmother/mother/aunt are singers, and I've dated a whole host of musicians. Good ones. The problem if you're a "good" musician, it will take over much of your life and so will the lifestyle, IME. There truly is nothing like being around that kind of genius but it can be a frustrating and tedious existence when in a relationship with one. And you get cheated on, a lot.
sb129 Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 There used to be a poster on here, Sedgwick. She had some interesting things to say about musicians, took her over a year to get over her exBF who was so immersed in his music he couldn't focus on her.
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