Sbrizio Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Lately i'm really struggling with NC. I think i'm realizing, with time, that she will not come back. That NC is not a tool to get her back. Of course i knew before. But inside me there always was a little hope that she would think again about the break-up. Now, that things aren't turning that way, i feel the urge to contact her. I discover arguments to support the decision of breaking NC, and it takes a lot of effort, counterarguments - and some external aid - not to do it. The point is, beside the general rule on this forum - don't break it - Some did it...and in some case this turned to be good. But i'm digressing. I should focus on myself. On making myself a better person. On cutting up my dependency of her for my happines. I'm just wasting my time debating, in my mind, pros and cons of a false argument. Just wished to share this. I'm still in a roller coaster of feelings, and i don't see it going up at the moment.
on edge Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 NC is tough. I used to play out the hypothetical conversation in my head, and that was enough for me to put down the phone and not make the call. NC is not a tool to win her back. NC is a tool for you to move on. It didn't work and you and your ex were not right for each other. You need to distance yourself from her so that you can realize this on your own.
JaggedRoad Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Lately i'm really struggling with NC. I think i'm realizing, with time, that she will not come back. That NC is not a tool to get her back. Of course i knew before. But inside me there always was a little hope that she would think again about the break-up. Now, that things aren't turning that way, i feel the urge to contact her. I discover arguments to support the decision of breaking NC, and it takes a lot of effort, counterarguments - and some external aid - not to do it. The point is, beside the general rule on this forum - don't break it - Some did it...and in some case this turned to be good. But i'm digressing. I should focus on myself. On making myself a better person. On cutting up my dependency of her for my happines. I'm just wasting my time debating, in my mind, pros and cons of a false argument. Just wished to share this. I'm still in a roller coaster of feelings, and i don't see it going up at the moment. I remember feeling like breaking NC a few weeks back and came across a post about someone breaking NC and had things work out. Psyched (and thoughtless), I broke NC and spoke to my ex. I'll just say this: it didn't resemble anything like the thread that I read.
DustySaltus Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I remember feeling like breaking NC a few weeks back and came across a post about someone breaking NC and had things work out. Psyched (and thoughtless), I broke NC and spoke to my ex. I'll just say this: it didn't resemble anything like the thread that I read. what thread was that?
JaggedRoad Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I don't remember, and I don't want to read it again.
DustySaltus Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I don't remember, and I don't want to read it again. sorry for bringing it up
GrayClouds Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Lately i'm really struggling with NC. I think i'm realizing, with time, that she will not come back. That NC is not a tool to get her back. Of course i knew before. But inside me there always was a little hope that she would think again about the break-up. Now, that things aren't turning that way, i feel the urge to contact her. I discover arguments to support the decision of breaking NC, and it takes a lot of effort, counterarguments - and some external aid - not to do it. The point is, beside the general rule on this forum - don't break it - Some did it...and in some case this turned to be good. But i'm digressing. I should focus on myself. On making myself a better person. On cutting up my dependency of her for my happines. I'm just wasting my time debating, in my mind, pros and cons of a false argument. Just wished to share this. I'm still in a roller coaster of feelings, and i don't see it going up at the moment. Breaking NC usually goes bad and sets you back. Unless the dumper is wanting desperately to come back, and you will have already know that is the case, it will be a kick in the balls or ovaries if your so inclined. If they say the are happy, your left with "wonderful, I am sorry I interfered with your happiness for so long, now I go back to my pain and suffering, I guess I am a idiot" If they say they are oh so said, ove you but not in love, who you were great but its about them, but does not want to come back, what goes through your mind..."wow how worthless of a person must I have been that they pick sadness over being in a relationship with me?" Enything else they say will fall into either one of those two categories one way or the other. No matter what they say they can't win and more importantly neither will you.
deadboy666 Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 i know what you mean. im having a really hard time maintaining NC. im doing really well otherwise. ive lost alot of weight, my spark in school is coming back, ive rekindled relationships with my friends and family. but im still struggling HARD with this whole NC thing. i keep having dreams that we get back together and its making me have insomnia and waking up depressed. i guess, at first i was doing NC to try and get her back, but now that she has someone new in her picture im starting to realize that i need to do NC for myself. trust me, it's fu.cking hard
GrayClouds Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 breaking NC is looking for confirmation of you pain, the EX will not give you it, contact will just contribute to it more, making you even more desperate for some confirmation that you wont get.
JaggedRoad Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 sorry for bringing it up Haha, that's perfectly fine
Author Sbrizio Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 Thanks guys. I need to remind that i have to win this struggle. And find peace.
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