readyforhappiness Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Hello, everyone! I am new here, I have been on this website for a while and just decided to join yesterday. I have some issues in my marriage and I am open and willing to listen and take critism on what should I do. Here is my story. I met my husband two years ago, through his sister. His sister worked at the Government building, where I was taking some small business classes. At the time, I had just my daughter and her father was from this city. He brought me here and then he ended up leaving me for another woman. Me and her started talking and she introduce me to her brother. I don't have any family here or friends, so meeting her I gave her a benefit of doubt that she will be a decent person and so is her family. When my husband and I started talking and begining the dating process, that when I saw their true colors. I came from a very disfuctionial family, so It is really hard for me to understand how a true and loving family suppose to act, just bascially how and what love is with anybody. I moved him in with me and my daughter, he pays bills, he will work, and he and my daughter ended up having this amazing daddy and daughter relationship. With him living with me, also came a **** load of problems, I found out he is very insercure, His family was talking about me and he was believing it, the brother said that we slept together, to make things worst when we had arugements, he would run to these people and talk so bad about me. When we make up and work things out, I could not understand why these people treated me so bad? When I found out I was pregnant by him, I just let it all go and was really to try again. When I found out I was pregnant, I had to stop working b/c of the severe morning sickness, I really did not want the baby, I really was not on my feet to care for the one in a half year old I had a the time. During that time, we aruged about the baby, I ended up going through the pregancy, and he ran back and forth to mama house the whole time. Through more aruging and tears, I still stayed, during this time his family, really just did not give a **** about me, I really need some support during the pregnacy, we had no car, he was the only one working, they did not offer to give you rides, they would just ride past you (and they are still like this). The bottom line is that he is weak, his family has totaly disrepects me, he blames me for why we are struggle fincially, when I can't work b/c lack of a babysitter. We stay in a very small city and none of the daycares have weekend childcare. Both of us work in industries that require us to work on weekends. I have asked his mother to keep the kids, instead of just saying no, or whatever the real reason why she can't keep them, she tells me to aks her 14 year old granddaughter she is rasing. the granddaughter is always babysitter his sister baby and her brother, so she says, she can't babysit a lot kids at one time. His mother will keep the sliblings children. I really had it with him, living with him is so complicating, he freaks out and panics all the time about bills, When I try to go out to meet and find potenial babysitters, he is always fussing about strangers keeping the kids. His mother and silblings won't watch them while we work. He is not a problem solver, I have to figure everything out. He continues to run to his family and want me to be around them, when I know in heart that they don't mean me no good and no don't really want to see us together. He is okay with life, he is okay that we don't go out and that we have no support. He is so brainwashed. When I used to go over there, we both would see her having her other grandkids, but he make excuses for her. Everytime I try to talk to him about how much further we would be if we actually had people who want to see us stay a family and help both us realized our faults we could make it, but he fussing and blame me for everything. We tried one couseling session, b/c of money we could not go back. Now, it is to the point, where when I look at him, I just can't stand him. I ignore him alot and I been stop doing things like washing his clothes, cooking for him, I just make sure me and kids eat. He will come to be and ask me what is wrong, I don't say nothing b/c he won't even know what to do, b/c he doesn't know how. So gets mad and accusing me of having another man. Everybody keeps telling me it could me worst, like cheating, or him not want to work, but I just keep feeling like it is. I actually feel like trying to love him is weighing me down. I don't know what to do. Please help!!!
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