TeacupMovinON Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 My break up was more than 9 months ago. I am doing pretty well, but do my have set backs occasionally. I am just curious about the amount of time that has lapsed for you other love shaker's. For those of you 8+ months along, how do you feel?
JaggedRoad Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 A little over 2 months since the actual break-up. I'd say that things actually ended 4 months ago.
Taucher Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 4 months and 3 weeks for me. Still on the old roller coaster.
Soul Bear Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 March things officially ended. I'm the best I have EVER been. No setbacks, No regrets. Nothing. I feel absolutely nothing. I find it strange how it takes different people different amounts of time. Some together for years,, and it takes 5 months or so, others dated for a month and a year later they are still on a roller coaster. I wish I could share the 'trick'...but I myself don't know exactly what it is. It just happened with NC, self improvement, self discipline, knowing my worth and knowing my own potential. I guess moving twice in 3 months helped too. Good luck everyone. It does get better, I promise you that.
Ilovecake Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 He ruined my birthday by dumping me September 21st but Halloween was ruined by the official moving out. So I guess Halloween will be a year. Happy anniversary to me! I'm 75% over it. This was the first time I was the dumpee and not the dumper so it's taking my ego a little longer to mend.
adamt Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Its been about 4.5 months now. Strict NC since and been working on myself. last week took the plunge and joined a dating website. had about 35 women adding me as a favourate. Got one that sent me a message who looks hot, just waiting for a response to my reply. Fingers crossed. Its helping me to move on for sure. just going to go with the flow. all i can advice is focus on yourself and dont rush into dating again until you feel ready.
contax Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Teacup. 10 months since break up. Alsmot 6 no contact. From a 5 year +. This has been a great year - europe trip, New York city, promotion at work etc...I took what happened into a positive. However I almost broke down again last night..I did actually..not so bad..just a couple tears. I'm talking to this new girl and it's so exciting..I feel that love feeling, but then this morning deep deep anger towards what happened. I came to grips, took my part...and focused on my vision of healing. It's just hard because I feel it's challenging to find pure people in this world. I know they are out there though. Also I deserve to be loved. Thank you for your question. And congrats to you as well!
deadboy666 Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 about 3 and a half weeks after almost 5 years of being together. yeah, im a mess haha
Author TeacupMovinON Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 Thank you all for sharing your experiences! As one poster mentioned, it is funny how it takes people different amounts of time to heal. I agree. Nine months seems like a very long time to heal, regardless, here I am- still in the process, I guess. Most days are great. Other days, it feels like the seperation just happened. I hope that is normal... I vividly recall, when the break-up first occurred, thinking that I would surely feel all better in a month! Boy, was I wrong. It has been a tuff road. Working with the ex has been less than desirable. But here I am, alive and well, dipping my toes back in the dating waters...
on edge Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 It has been almost a year. First two months, were fine. (I was the one that ended it). Next four to five months were tough. Started therapy in month 8, and have made considerable gains. Don't miss her, and I think that my life is much better off now than it ever was with her. I also met someone new (not a rebound, had plenty of those) that I really like. We have been dating for almost two months. Thinks really started to change in month 9 for me. I was with my ex for 3 years, and we use to spend almost everyday together.
Excellent Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Thank you all for sharing your experiences! As one poster mentioned, it is funny how it takes people different amounts of time to heal. I agree. Nine months seems like a very long time to heal, regardless, here I am- still in the process, I guess. Most days are great. Other days, it feels like the seperation just happened. I hope that is normal... I vividly recall, when the break-up first occurred, thinking that I would surely feel all better in a month! Boy, was I wrong. It has been a tuff road. Working with the ex has been less than desirable. But here I am, alive and well, dipping my toes back in the dating waters... My relationship only lasted 2-3 months, but i still have my moments after almost a year. I think it's more of missing someone in my life now, rather than my ex. I too work with her, so it has been hard with very slow progress, mostly because i kept getting fooled by her, and giving myself false hope. A lot of other bad stuff has happened this year too, wich hasn't made it better either. But i gotta say, after the last stunt she pulled by getting involved with my neighbor, i feel i'm losing whatever respect i had left for her. I'm pretty sure that relationship has ended now too, so atleast i don't have to be afraid of running into them outside my own door. I've tried to flirt a bit with other women, but i see that i'm not ready yet, although the desire of having someone in my life in that way is there. But i have yet to experience a day where i don't think about her at all, sadly. Oh well..thats just how it is.
contax Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 People who say they healed and jump into a relationship 3 days later, or do drugs or alchohol, or other things to numb themseleves do not heal - they are deluding themselves... I do believe different people take time...5 year plus relationships people may need alot of time to heal...everyone heals different and its not right to bash people who take longer they very well may truely be healing..,not saying others dont heal quicker....it is a process...look up grieving....its no joke.....time alone does not heal..its what you do in that time people can be broken up for 3 years if they are still in contact their healing didnt even start yet..in contact hoping to get back etc....its tricky.
Leveller Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 (edited) For me it's been eight months too. I still see her regularly and we have had conversations about 'us' but the guy she effectively left me for is still around and they are now 'in love'. She wants me as a 'friend' whilst she carries on seeing him. I have been in NC for about a month again now. I will always think we would have worked but this was down to her and not me. Incidentally, even though she is seeing someone else, she still gets jealous of what I might be up to. The night she told me she loved this guy I said via text that I was back in touch with another ex of mine (one she knew about). She sent me about seven texts the following day one of which said 'Ask what's her name, can I come to the wedding'. I kinda knew this was the sort of reaction I would get and I found it all a bit pathetic. She also wished me luck and to be happy together as I did her. Sadly, I know neither of us meant it. I still find the whole situation strange to say the least but I think my ex's head is more than a little messed up. Edited October 15, 2009 by Leveller
symbol Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 4 years. I wouldn't have been back here 4 years after the breakup if my ex was not googling my name and visiting my web page. I believe he's been on my web page several times in the last year. I was not able to confirm it was him. But now I can see his name appear in the server name, so I'm sure it's him and he visited my web page 3 times in the past 5 weeks. And I'm confused about his motivations... I'm confused about my feelings... And I should mention that we've been on strict NC ever since we broke up...
dianna Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 symbol - my ex checks my blog every day ..like 5-6 times a day ..im starting to feel that he is obsessed. He broke up with me 3 and a half months ..after 2 and a half years of relationship. Time to heal..hm....Im ok now..im like 60% percent healed ..but I also have my bad days like last week when I started to cry all of the sudden while walking on the street . So yeah..Im not over it ( i see him everyday ..same class in college ) Long road ahead...*uck
symbol Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Dianna, I'm sorry to say you're right, you have a long road ahead. But you will learn so much about yourself and the kind of life you want to live while you're healing. We were together for more than 7 years and we were each other's first love. I tried to deny the fact that the breakup kind of devastated me and I tried to look strong (not only to other people but to myself too...) I think this prolonged the healing process. I guess one just has to accept the pain and learn to deal with it... I don't know why he's on my website after so long... Funny, I still have hopes for reconciliation and I don't even know if that's what I want...
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