gordon_gc Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Hi, for those who don't know the situation. My gf and I broke up. I love her, she loves me but we are from 2 different backgrounds and the parents don't approve. She had to choose between her love for me and her love for the parents. Anyway, this was last thursday. Since then, I've been away trying to keep busy. We stopped all contacts (phone, text, msn, facebook). Yesterday, I broke NC with the usual "wish you were here..." to which she replied that she misses me and that we gotta be strong. I'm so in love with her. I know she is sad and upset...probably more than me. I get anxiety attack at the idea of not being with her. Any tips on what i should do ? How do i keep strong and stick to NC ??? This is just soooooooo hard.
NSW768 Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 (edited) definitely is tough. keep you head up. im not familiar with your situation, but have you 2 tried explaining to your parents? Edited October 14, 2009 by NSW768
Author gordon_gc Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 definitely is tough. keep you head up. im not familiar with your situation, but have you 2 tried explaining to your parents? It's just so hard. I feel like It's all a bad dream and I'll wake to realise all is ok...but yet, i don't wake up ! :-( She talked about me to her parents and they don't approve whatsoever. I've tried explaining her I could sit with them and reassure about my commitment to her but still. I'm really struggling with the situation because I have nothing to hold against her except maybe for the parents' lack of tolerance.
cheeze Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 It's just so hard. I feel like It's all a bad dream and I'll wake to realise all is ok...but yet, i don't wake up ! :-( She talked about me to her parents and they don't approve whatsoever. I've tried explaining her I could sit with them and reassure about my commitment to her but still. I'm really struggling with the situation because I have nothing to hold against her except maybe for the parents' lack of tolerance. I absolutely understand how badly you want it to be a dream! i think you should try talking to her parents once before you two decide to break up. And once all efforts fail you must stick to no contact. I know exactly how helpless it feels when both love each other and parents dont approve...I cant really advice anything better than meeting and trying to convince her parents once again.... my bf jst got married due to parental presures...i know he loves me...and am constantly worrying about him....but have decided nt to contact him nemore
Author gordon_gc Posted October 16, 2009 Author Posted October 16, 2009 I absolutely understand how badly you want it to be a dream! i think you should try talking to her parents once before you two decide to break up. And once all efforts fail you must stick to no contact. I know exactly how helpless it feels when both love each other and parents dont approve...I cant really advice anything better than meeting and trying to convince her parents once again.... my bf jst got married due to parental presures...i know he loves me...and am constantly worrying about him....but have decided nt to contact him nemore To be honest, I have offered time and time again to meet with the parents but i think the bottom line is that she wants something more simple. She doesn't want to confront the parents, she doesn't want to go through all of the trouble. She comes from a really different culture and I know that concept is hard to understand but that's the way it is. It's weird but I seriously thought it would be easier for me to get over her but it seems like it gets harder by the day ! :-(
Pizzaman81 Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 To be honest, I have offered time and time again to meet with the parents but i think the bottom line is that she wants something more simple. She doesn't want to confront the parents, she doesn't want to go through all of the trouble. She comes from a really different culture and I know that concept is hard to understand but that's the way it is. It's weird but I seriously thought it would be easier for me to get over her but it seems like it gets harder by the day ! :-( It's usually always like that. The different cultural background would always cause some sort of issue. Sometimes subtle differences in the ways we were brought up culturally would affect a relationship, in the things the couple choose to do, or act a certain way. I've experienced this on my side too, and for me we're from the same country! just different parts! It is still hard.
cheeze Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 It's usually always like that. The different cultural background would always cause some sort of issue. Sometimes subtle differences in the ways we were brought up culturally would affect a relationship, in the things the couple choose to do, or act a certain way. I've experienced this on my side too, and for me we're from the same country! just different parts! It is still hard. yes Iv learnt that in the end love does not conquer everything!...parents, society, culture and a whole lot of issues creep up from somewhere and spoil the almost perfect story and those who should take a stand leave us alone. If the girl is not letting you talk to her parents, maybe she fears theyl marry her to some1 else instead of you. In the end you both have to break up...its always bettr to explore all possible ways before you choose to seperate your ways, coz once any one of you is committed to someone else (willingly or otherwise) then it will be tougher. Otherwise you'll face the same situation like me..not knowing whether to hate him or not, whether to talk to him or not...just depressed that he is gone.
Author gordon_gc Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 I know the religion is the primary factor keeping us apart. She is really scared her parents might disown her and she is even more scared her family as a whole would reject her. I respect her, I love her and unfortunately, I have to let her go for now. I can't make her go through all this with her family. I still believe we'll have a chance but later maybe. She needs to emancipate herself from the family first. All I can hope is that she won't be forced to marry someone she doesn't like/love...that would truly shatter me apart !
NoneoftheAbove Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 I know the religion is the primary factor keeping us apart. She is really scared her parents might disown her and she is even more scared her family as a whole would reject her. I respect her, I love her and unfortunately, I have to let her go for now. I can't make her go through all this with her family. I still believe we'll have a chance but later maybe. She needs to emancipate herself from the family first. All I can hope is that she won't be forced to marry someone she doesn't like/love...that would truly shatter me apart ! If i were you, I would stop living with the hope that she might come back one day. What if she moves on and finds someone else, and all this time you were waiting for her, what is going to happen than? You will be 6 feet underground don't do that, live like you ll never see her again. It is hard but there is more to come, this is just the beginning. Good Luck
Author gordon_gc Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 If i were you, I would stop living with the hope that she might come back one day. What if she moves on and finds someone else, and all this time you were waiting for her, what is going to happen than? You will be 6 feet underground don't do that, live like you ll never see her again. It is hard but there is more to come, this is just the beginning. Good Luck Thanks. I know the best I can do for now is focus on myself. I've been a mess for a few weeks now and I need to snap out of it. Lost 7kgs, ect.... Looking at myself today, I would never date me !!!
Author gordon_gc Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 oh btw, last night, she broke NC and sent me a text saying she misses me. It is not helping either ! :-(
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