deadboy666 Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 or have bi polar tendencies? i was diagnosed with it when i was in my late teens and it has been problematic for me for a long time. i am against medication, because when i was a teenager i was a human guinea pig for medication and eventaully got tired of it. i support going to a therpist, but i have to wait until my 25th birthday when i switch insurance and what not... but, being bi polar has been a living hell for me during this breakup. it's also been making NC nearly impossible for me. please spare me the lecture about having to keep NC, because i know. i am making strides to better myself and i am much better than 3 weeks ago(have lost almost 20 pounds in the last 3 weeks, among other things), but NC is still really, really, REALLY hard! i keep getting really angry and start accosting her of things and we get in these fights and i start crashing and getting really sad and upset. we pseudo make up and then we dont talk for anywhere from 24-48 hours. then it happens again. after we got into a fight today, she told me while that she isnt in love with me anymore, she still loves me and cares about me. i pretty much lost it again, but pushed the feelings aside and now that my day is over with, it's hitting me somewhat. what's tough is that she is the only person who can still calm me down when i have these episodes. i feel embarassed when i crash like that around my friends and family so i cant really lean on anyone else, and if i keep the emotions to myself then it will just get worse. anyone have any alternative coping mechanisms? because im out of ideas
JaggedRoad Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Meditation helps sometimes. But if that doesn't work, I always found sleep to be a nice way of getting away from things.
alphamale Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 anyone have any alternative coping mechanisms? because im out of ideas you need a good psychiatrist who can prescribe you any combo of lithium, benzodiazepines, olanzapine, SSRIs, lamictal, topamax, et al...
Author deadboy666 Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 you need a good psychiatrist who can prescribe you any combo of lithium, benzodiazepines, olanzapine, SSRIs, lamictal, topamax, et al... im anti medication. have tried all of those, and it didnt work for me. medication turned me into a zombie and i didnt feel like myself when i was on it
scipio Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 My mom is bipolar so I understand what you're going through. You need to take your meds man. I know it makes you feel like crap but at least you'll be under control. My mom looks for any excuse to get off her meds but eventually she starts slipping back and my brothers and I have to force her to take them again.
carhill Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 (edited) OP, how has the disease been for you in between relationships during periods where you're not emotionally engaged? TBH, if you're clinical, you have a brain chemistry issue and, to my knowledge, there is no non-pharmacological method of mitigating that. Psychotherapy can help, in conjunction with properly managed medication. Homeopathy and alternative medicine, along with meditation, are worth a try. A loved one is medicated bi-polar and, trust me, she tests my love, not to mention her husband's, when her meds are off or she's off her meds. Don't forget that your actions affect those around you and that's your responsibility. If you're not willing to make consistent and pro-active efforts to combat this condition, you will likely find yourself alone. People can only deal with so much. i didnt feel like myself when i was on it A better barometer would be how your loved ones felt around you when you were 'on it'. I made a mistake in this regard, telling a friend to try stopping her meds when she felt like you did. After, she felt 'like herself' again, with no headaches or zombie feeling, but her emotional state became, over time, more and more erratic and unstable, especially when stressed emotionally, that I finally had to cut contact. Doing that still makes me very sad but I had to save my own sanity. Edited October 14, 2009 by carhill
Author deadboy666 Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 just an fyi... it's been very tame in the last few years and ive grown to not let myself get too out of control. honestly, when i was on medication it would be much worse if i skipped a day from not taking it and would go ballistic because i used them too much as a crutch. after i stopped taking medication i started developing my own ways to deal with things and only ever had really bad episodes every now and then. i dont want to say ive grown out of it, but it is not nearly as bad as it used to be. if this breakup had happened when i was a teenager then it would have been much worse, but i am just talking about getting angry and sullen, becoming a keyboard warrior and then crashing after i realize what happened will be trying mediation tho, thanks
dashing daisy Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 From my experience, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy tends to be very effective at teaching skills for general emotion regulation so you will be more stable and also distress tolerence, interpersonal effectiveness and mindfulness training--which all seem to be coping strategies that would be helpful for you. It's actually proven effective so most insurance companies will completely cover it (either completely or with your copay, depending on how your insurance coverage works). I'm not sure what you meant by switching insurance before you can go to therapy, but if you are covered by any insurance at the moment I would contact them about finding a therapist who does DBT. Not everyone needs medication. I'm not completely anti-medication or anything, but I don't necessarily think it needs to be the first line of treatment, and I don't think it should ever be the only treatment. However I will say that the combination of therapy and medication (where indicated) seems to work the best, but it's not an exact science. Hope things get better--
contax Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Good for you for staying off the meds! I believe many people are misdiagnosed..doc tells them something and they find the evidence to believe it....exercise, walk etc...forget pills...even weed is better and healthier than pills....again I'm not a doctor..still I believe there is a natural way out.... I overcame severe anxiety and panic attacks with no pills...I'm talking going to the hosipital several times dizzy heart ripping out of chest for no reason panic attacks - and I controlled them naturally... stay away from alchohol though. You'll be okay.
contax Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Also you sound just like I did in the beggining weeks. I talked to family friends and counselling lines...I have been almost 6 months n/c...then thoughts come in my head ....she doesn't help you calm down....who does the helping? YOU DO! It's not like some magic vapor comes out of her and calms you - YOU do it...you heal and feel better...get to the point where you are responsible for your emotions....cause if you arn't your a victim to the outside world....it may sound harsh and you can take it or leave it...you deserve better though.
scipio Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 (edited) Good for you for staying off the meds! I believe many people are misdiagnosed..doc tells them something and they find the evidence to believe it....exercise, walk etc...forget pills...even weed is better and healthier than pills....again I'm not a doctor..still I believe there is a natural way out.... I overcame severe anxiety and panic attacks with no pills...I'm talking going to the hosipital several times dizzy heart ripping out of chest for no reason panic attacks - and I controlled them naturally... stay away from alchohol though. You'll be okay. Thats not advice. Its incredibly irresponsible hackery. Bipolar disorder is a medical problem with scientific explanations. Panic attacks can have a million reasons which could be psychological so its a useless comparison. Unless you can medically explain to deadboy how "walking" and "smoking weed" will give him the proper chemical balance you should keep that drivel to yourself. And i'm taking this personally because my mom is bipolar and I've seen first hand what it does and what medicine can do to help it. The proper mix of medication is something that can be adjusted,..but to completely go off them with such a condition is wrong. You might feel good in the short term but eventually you'll crash. Edited October 14, 2009 by scipio
contax Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Thats not advice. Its incredibly irresponsible hackery. Bipolar disorder is a medical problem with scientific explanations. Panic attacks can have a million reasons which could be psychological so its a useless comparison. Unless you can medically explain to deadboy how "walking" and "smoking weed" will give him the proper chemical balance you should keep that drivel to yourself. And i'm taking this personally because my mom is bipolar and I've seen first hand what it does and what medicine can do to help it. I see what you're saying. I know people with bi polar too, and I know alot of people were always looking for a reason for why they felt down then hyper. I feel if people use transformation vocab like down/overwhelemed instead of the d word...and think in different ways it can help. I know pills can be crazy addictive, cause loss in sex drive and can even kill. That's what the panic meds' warning said. Marijuana - I don't even touch it. I;'m just saying...doctors used to prescribe that in the 20's...now they create these chemical exlirs and hand them out to the world....people get off them then go buck, because they're addcitive.... That is a rant. I appologize I don't want to take away from anyone...If meds are the way fine..I'm just suggesting it be a last resort. I wish both your Mom and the poster well.
scipio Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I see what you're saying. I know people with bi polar too, and I know alot of people were always looking for a reason for why they felt down then hyper. I feel if people use transformation vocab like down/overwhelemed instead of the d word...and think in different ways it can help. I know pills can be crazy addictive, cause loss in sex drive and can even kill. That's what the panic meds' warning said. Marijuana - I don't even touch it. I;'m just saying...doctors used to prescribe that in the 20's...now they create these chemical exlirs and hand them out to the world....people get off them then go buck, because they're addcitive.... That is a rant. I appologize I don't want to take away from anyone...If meds are the way fine..I'm just suggesting it be a last resort. I wish both your Mom and the poster well. No need to apologize. I understand you're just trying to help. Infact i should apologize for being a little harsh. But there are a lot of sick people in this world that are being distracted by pseudo science. But I agree that other things may help in addition to medicine,...not instead of.
delajoonal Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 deadboy... my son is bi polar, sounds like you are about the same age, 22 23..? anyway, we had a time of it a few years back..i had him admitted 51/50...it was one of the bad cases..but to this day, he is grateful and on meds...not all work, at times he has to try dif drugs/meds...but you gotta try. i just want you to know i sooo understand...it is a horrific pain that you go thru..i see my son..it breaks my heart...and the battles he faces even on meds...just daily stuff job, gf, etc... please think about meds...if one doesn't work, try another... therapy is VERY good, you have a great attitude..but please think about the quality of your life..with the meds...you can fight those demons that make you wanna go NO NC, or feel like accosting someone, etc... good luck guy...really, my thoughts are with you...its tough... also, my hats off to you for posting and reaching out!!! that is HUGE for a person with bi polar..HUGE.. so be proud of yourself..K;)
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