ooopnut4 Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Would it be wrong to tell my friend I have strong feelings for her while she has a boyfriend.. I get signs sometimes she wants me too but im not sure..Should I keep it to myself and if they end it one day tell her? Or will I regret it if i dont say anything now and they end up getting married? f@*@&
Soul Bear Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 whaaaaaaat.... his is such a typical guy thing to say/think. Just because she is nice to you, does not mean she likes you romantically. If she liked you she wouldn't have a boyfriend. I Urge you strongly to not take this ANY further. You'll lose a friend and could end up getting bashed.
Soul Bear Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I can't be the only one here who has something to say on this......
BookerT Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I agree with Soul Bear. Are you reallly sure she wants you? Or you think she wants you because you want her?
Soul Bear Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 It's such a typical male thing to think like that. I'm not dissing guys here, as I am one myself, but still, WHY DO MOST GUYS THINK LIKE THIS?! If a girl is in a relationship and has a good guy friend, usually they are oblivious to the fact that the friend likes them, and is sure that he is just being a friend. That's why they feel so comfortable around you is because they TRUST YOU and don't see you as a threat (most instances) this is what gives you the wrong impression.
Soul Bear Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Can any women relate to this? I'm interested to here your views please.
trueblue72ny Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 don't do it dude. thats my two cents. unless you dont give a cr*p about your friend. you should forget you are even thinking this about HIS girl. besides she's just playing with you;) dont take it too serious.
xpaperxcutx Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I hate when guys do that. Just because we're being nice does not automatically mean we want you to " profess". This is why I am so against having too many guy friends unless they're gay.
Author ooopnut4 Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 its really more than that. I actually dated this girl when i was 19 for like a month but it was just bad timing..5 years later Ive become pretty good friends with her and like best friends with her sister. the sisters boyfriend told me one time that i should say something because she knows I like her and that she likes me too but he was drunk soo i dunno. For some reason its the four of us a lot and we always have a great time together I dont really know the boyfriend too well. If I never say anything Ill never know but it could also ruin the friendship I have with everyone and make things awkward.. Its hard cuz we hang out a lot
Soul Bear Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND. END OF. Would you like it if someone did that to your hypothetical girlfriend?
Author ooopnut4 Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 you're right I knew it was stupid. That would piss me off if I was the boyfriend. I wouldnt even know how to say it without coming off like a bad friend. I always said I hate guys who do that. pretend to be someones friend when all they wanna do is **** them or they are like obsessed with them or somehting
xpaperxcutx Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 its really more than that. I actually dated this girl when i was 19 for like a month but it was just bad timing..5 years later Ive become pretty good friends with her and like best friends with her sister. the sisters boyfriend told me one time that i should say something because she knows I like her and that she likes me too but he was drunk soo i dunno. For some reason its the four of us a lot and we always have a great time together I dont really know the boyfriend too well. If I never say anything Ill never know but it could also ruin the friendship I have with everyone and make things awkward.. Its hard cuz we hang out a lot What I don't understand is why all of a sudden you want to confess to her when she's in a relationship. You had more than enough time to actually find out how you felt or still feel about her. What you're planning to do is one of the most underhanded things a man can do. You should start questioning yourself about why you want to do such things aside from what your emotions are telling you to do. Could it be because seeing her in a relationship makes you jealous? If she's your best friend then there's some problem with you seeing your friends happy.
Author ooopnut4 Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 it has nothing to do with seeing her in a relationship because the boyfriend is usually never around when we all hang out Ive just gotten to know her a lot better and see her in a different light. Jeez everyone bashing me sometimes its hard to control your feeling whether someone is in a relationship or not thats why i came here for advice. How the hell do I know if she thinks about it sometimes maybe she doesnt know I like her and wants me to say something.. i mean you never know what the hells really going on but I can see saying anything is the wrong thing to do in many more ways than it would be right.
Soul Bear Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 (edited) Bro, I'm not bashing you, I'm a guy, I've done it before too. I just don't want to see you get yourself into trouble. If she was waiting for you to say something I'm sure she would let you know....but then you have to ask yourself...would YOU be willing to have a girlfriend who would possibly confess something like that to another guy while you were together with her? You're not being stupid. We can't control who we like. I feel for you, I really do. I know it must suck, but you gotta suck it up Edited October 14, 2009 by Soul Bear
xpaperxcutx Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 it has nothing to do with seeing her in a relationship because the boyfriend is usually never around when we all hang out Ive just gotten to know her a lot better and see her in a different light. Jeez everyone bashing me sometimes its hard to control your feeling whether someone is in a relationship or not thats why i came here for advice. How the hell do I know if she thinks about it sometimes maybe she doesnt know I like her and wants me to say something.. i mean you never know what the hells really going on but I can see saying anything is the wrong thing to do in many more ways than it would be right. Not bashing, but being austere about your plan of action. I agree with Soul_B that if she had wanted you to know, she would tell you. She wouldn't even have to tell you about her relationship, in fact she wouldn't even have gotten into one. If it's really hard for you to practice self control then it's safe to say you're better off not being friends. Being friends means being plationic and anything more is actually unfair to you. Be considerate about her relationship, and consider finding someone else. As well as be considerate to yourself on not losing a good friend.
memorygospel Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Well this is a reeeaaallly tought situation but I think the thing you need to ask yourself is whether you reckon she will be with her boyfriend for a long time or are they having problems? So basicly I would wait things out for now to see how things turn out but at the same very subtly make your interest more evident without actually saying it.
Soul Bear Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Well this is a reeeaaallly tought situation but I think the thing you need to ask yourself is whether you reckon she will be with her boyfriend for a long time or are they having problems? So basicly I would wait things out for now to see how things turn out but at the same very subtly make your interest more evident without actually saying it. Why the hell would you want to screw with someone elses relationship? She has a boyfriend. Stop being such an animal! Tell me, what is it you like most about her?
dreamergrl Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Tell me, what is it you like most about her? A lot of people want what they can't have. This probably come across as a challenge. A chase. A game. Someone who has real interest in a taken person wouldn't attempt to steal them away.
Odyssey Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Would it be wrong to tell my friend I have strong feelings for her while she has a boyfriend.. I get signs sometimes she wants me too but im not sure..Should I keep it to myself and if they end it one day tell her? Or will I regret it if i dont say anything now and they end up getting married? f@*@& You'll be risking your friendship if you profess your feelings to her. Look, she has a bf! Move on... And if she really wants you, she would of broke it with her bf now, right? Think about it man. So what if they decide to get married? It's their life and it's really none of your business what they do. Your only choice is to move on and find someone else.
tigressA Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Seriously, just don't bother with this girl. She's taken. Find someone else to like who's actually single. Like dreamergrl said, it could very well be the fact that she's involved with someone else that has you pining for her. I was in a situation recently with a former friend--I had always had feelings for him, and while he was technically single when I told him I liked him, things were "complicated" with his ex. Can you guess what happened? Going through with something like this will only bring trouble to you. Don't.
Soul Bear Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 The only thing that tells other guys to stay away from a girl is - A RING ON HER FINGER. that didn't stop my ex! Really really good post by the way.
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