lovemunky Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Hey people… I have been noticing these little things about my GF of 11 months…. not too sure if these really are a matter of concern…but am looking for different perspectives… She had been dating this guy earlier..but since tht guy was too occupied with his work life it didn’t work out….and after few months we started dating, she told me about this guy she used to date[after 3 months since we started seeing each other…while I told her everything about my past as soon as we hooked up]……… and she told me that now they are still good friends and at times they do talk to each other……. I have no problems with them being friends…but lately I have noticed, She has been chatting online with that guy regularly [she dosent know that I have been noticing this] they have been calling each other with the names that they gave each other while they were dating….and most of the times its my gf who has been initiating the conversations…. Also last time when we were in a mall…and there was this good looking guy…she couldn’t get her eyes off him..…now this has happened twice…I don’t mind if it was a subtle notice or if she was generally checking him out…but drooling over a guy in my presence has ticked me off…. So am I just cranky or are these signs of something??? Pls help
cdt76 Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 You need to have a serious conversation with her about all this. You need to sit her down with a list of concerns and hash it out one by one. If you get the vibe that she is emotionally invested in other people or not invested enough in you, then you may need to think about getting out.
Bejita463 Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 [after 3 months since we started seeing each other…while I told her everything about my past as soon as we hooked up] That you told all at the start means nothing. She doesn't have to tell you anything at all about her past relationships. They aren't your business unless she wants them to be. The rest of the behavior you noticed may or may not be simple jealousy, but from your side of things alone I couldn't offer you any insight on it. The best advice I could give you there is to talk to her about your concerns. Talk. Not accuse. She did tell you about the guy, and she didn't have to do that. Perhaps she just doesn't see anything wrong with window shopping, so long as does not try anything on to see how it fits, as it were.
Author lovemunky Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 You need to have a serious conversation with her about all this. You need to sit her down with a list of concerns and hash it out one by one. If you get the vibe that she is emotionally invested in other people or not invested enough in you, then you may need to think about getting out. hey...thanks for the insight appreciate it...but do you think that she may be window shopping...and isnt completely into me!
Author lovemunky Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 That you told all at the start means nothing. She doesn't have to tell you anything at all about her past relationships. They aren't your business unless she wants them to be. The rest of the behavior you noticed may or may not be simple jealousy, but from your side of things alone I couldn't offer you any insight on it. The best advice I could give you there is to talk to her about your concerns. Talk. Not accuse. She did tell you about the guy, and she didn't have to do that. Perhaps she just doesn't see anything wrong with window shopping, so long as does not try anything on to see how it fits, as it were. hii...mayb you are right to a certain degree.....but dont you think in a relationship people shld start on a clean slate...n besides it was her who had been asking about my past on numerous occasions when we started....n i did tell her everything because i wanted be to transparent and hence expected the same from her... i would also like to tell you that there had been a girl who had been hitting on me...but there has been nothing from my side towards that girl...when we[me and my gf] happened to talk about that girl...she told me to distant myself from her and stop taking her calls etc etc....which i did respect and comply.....as i am very much in love with her and didn't find anything wrong with it....but this little thing has been bothering me a bit lately...can it be a case that she is trying to re-ignite the spark she shared with her ex? and isn't as much into me?
Bejita463 Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 hii...mayb you are right to a certain degree.....but dont you think in a relationship people shld start on a clean slate... Yes I do. Which is why your past is no business of hers unless you allow it to be. Your having done so does not obligate her to do the same. It would have been wise to voice this. i would also like to tell you that there had been a girl who had been hitting on me...but there has been nothing from my side towards that girl...when we[me and my gf] happened to talk about that girl...she told me to distant myself from her and stop taking her calls etc etc....which i did respect and comply.....as i am very much in love with her and didn't find anything wrong with it....but this little thing has been bothering me a bit lately...can it be a case that she is trying to re-ignite the spark she shared with her ex? and isn't as much into me? I don't really see what the former has to do with the latter, so I can't offer an opinion there.
Author lovemunky Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 @ Bejita463 - But when she had been digging about my past and me telling her everything dosent that mean she reciprocates in the same manner and should have told me then instead of waiting for 3 months to tell me this part….but anyway what you said makes sense…point taken…thanks a ton i would also like to tell you that there had been a girl who had been hitting on me...but there has been nothing from my side towards that girl...when we[me and my gf] happened to talk about that girl...she told me to distant myself from her and stop taking her calls etc etc....which i did respect and comply.....as i am very much in love with her and didn't find anything wrong with it....but this little thing has been bothering me a bit lately...can it be a case that she is trying to re-ignite the spark she shared with her ex? and isn't as much into me? The reason I had mentioned this is when she expects me to restrict such advances of this other girl, shouldn’t she be restricting what she is trying to do with the ex..which whom she was romantically involved at some point of time…..as their calling each other by their lovey dovey names and she initiating the conversations has been bothering me the most
Bejita463 Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I see. Well I am a fan of fair being fair. If it is okay for you to do, it is okay for her. Similarly, if something is not okay for you to do in her eyes, it is pure hypocrisy for her to then turn around and do something similar.
Recommended Posts