lofi_tokyo Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I've known a guy for a while now, though we've never really been "friends". Recently however, we've been hanging out in group settings (maybe twice a month?), and I've developed a crush on the guy. His friends have all told me he is incredibly awkward around girls. I had a feeling he liked me back, so I was waiting for him to ask me out - and he did, though it seemed kind of like a backhanded invite because all the days he suggested we go out were days he was busy - so his suggestions kind of sounded like "well we COULD hang out Wednesday, but I have practice", I just got the sense he was half asking me out in hopes on me declining. I told him I wasn't really sure what his intentions were, because although he was asking me out, he also was making himself sound too busy to hang out. I suggested that maybe he wasn't really interested. He told me he felt sort of awkward, and yeah, maybe we should just keep hanging out in a group setting, and if things naturally lead to us going on a date afterwards,that would be cool. I then said something along the lines of: Listen, I have a crush on you, either we go out on a date, or we don't do this. He replied saying something along the lines of: I'm going out of town for a week. I don't know how I feel, but when I'd like to figure that out by us spending time together. I will call you when I get back with a solid date and time where I am not busy. That week has passed and he has not called! (hes been home two days now) Am I being too demanding? Was confessing I have a crush on him a bad idea? I know that its typically the guy's job to pursue girls... and I like that. I guess I kind of reversed it by putting an ultimatum on him, then saying I like him. Ughh. Thoughts anyone?
Double Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I wouldn't say you ruined your chances, but it doesn't sound as though you had much of a chance to begin with...
Bejita463 Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I think he was putting feelers out with the suggestion he'd like to see you if he were less busy. The reaction I think he was looking for was something like "That would be awesome, too bad you aren't free" and what you gave him he didn't know how to respond to. The rest of it make him seem flaky at best, and wimpy at worst.
Author lofi_tokyo Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 The rest of it make him seem flaky at best, and wimpy at worst. I loved that - it made me laugh a bit, and it made me feel a lot better about him not calling. Flakey or Whimpy... hmm I've found myself a good one eh?
BCCA Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I wouldn't say you ruined your chances, but it doesn't sound as though you had much of a chance to begin with... I agree, I dont think he was really interested to start with.
Author lofi_tokyo Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 I wouldn't say you ruined your chances, but it doesn't sound as though you had much of a chance to begin with... I KIND OF thought I had a chance since he asked me out? I never prompted him to do that... it kind of came out of no where. But like I said, his "asking me out" was kind of lame anyways. Maybe you're right. ;p
Author lofi_tokyo Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 I agree, I dont think he was really interested to start with. Hahaha okay okay, the harsh truth comes out then. Why did he even make the effort he did then?
Bejita463 Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I loved that - it made me laugh a bit, and it made me feel a lot better about him not calling. I am glad I was able to offer some small level of comfort.
BCCA Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Hahaha okay okay, the harsh truth comes out then. Why did he even make the effort he did then? Someone could have pressured him, he could have felt like giving it a shot, or he could think youre cute. The only thing for sure is that his effort sucks, and it doesnt strike me as something an interested guy would do.
boogieboy Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Hahaha okay okay, the harsh truth comes out then. Why did he even make the effort he did then? He didnt make the effort, he was hemmin and hawwin like you blocked the girl he really wanted to talk to. Leave this wimp alone.
Double Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Nope. If he was actually interested in you to begin with, he would have been relieved when you clarified your interest in him, and you two would have gone out.
Author lofi_tokyo Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 Nope. If he was actually interested in you to begin with, he would have been relieved when you clarified your interest in him, and you two would have gone out. that's what I was hoping to hear! If I like a guy, me telling him should be a good thing if he's interested, right? My big concern was that I ruined things by admitting my crush. If he wasn't interested to begin with, which is what I'm getting from your guys' responses, then who cares. Not everyone has to like me
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