prayingshecomesback Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I asked this girl that I have a serious crush on if she wanted to go to a destination wedding with me in Vegas, and I even asked her if she "would be my date". I have had a crush on this girl for a while and her friend said we definately have chemistry. We have known each other for a very long time and I think she flirts with me...however, my worries is that she just wants to be friends like we have been for so long. Do you think she has feelings for me? and Should I tell her I have feelings for her before the wedding? I am 30 she is 22. Thanks.
Star Gazer Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Do you think she has feelings for me? Given what little information you've provided, it's impossible to tell. Should I tell her I have feelings for her before the wedding? I think it's obvious, given the invitation. IMO, I wouldn't have asked her to a destination trip, let alone a wedding, as a first date. WAY too much pressure.
Author prayingshecomesback Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 "WAY to much pressure" You are right. I need to ask her on a date before we go to this wedding. Then I can see if she has some feelings for me...if not, at least I know and she will know that it will be strictly friends and we will have a good time at the wedding regardless. thanks.
Author prayingshecomesback Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 Did she say yes to going? She said Yes! Asking a girl to a wedding I think is pretty much telling them you are interested in her. I dont know. Im going to try to feel her out on her feelings for me and ask her on that date.
Star Gazer Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Asking a girl to a wedding I think is pretty much telling them you are interested in her. I think it means way more than that.
Author prayingshecomesback Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 I think it means way more than that. So if it means way more than that and she says that.... than she may like me?
Author prayingshecomesback Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 So if it means way more than that and she says that.... than she may like me? So if it means way more than that and she says YES.... than she may like me?[/ sorry for the typo
BCCA Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 So if it means way more than that and she says YES.... than she may like me?[/ sorry for the typo Is she getting a free trip to vegas out of the deal? If so, its hard to say.
Author prayingshecomesback Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 Yes, I am paying for her airfare...but I never mentioned that to her.
Double Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Yes, I am paying for her airfare...but I never mentioned that to her. So has she brought up this issue with you, i.e. asked you about flight info so she can buy her own ticket? I'll bet you anything since you invited her as your date she assumed you'd pay for that, in addition to the wedding gift and other wedding related expenses. That's pretty typical when you invite someone to a wedding.
Author prayingshecomesback Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 So has she brought up this issue with you, i.e. asked you about flight info so she can buy her own ticket? I'll bet you anything since you invited her as your date she assumed you'd pay for that, in addition to the wedding gift and other wedding related expenses. That's pretty typical when you invite someone to a wedding. She hasnt asked about the flight info... but I am assuming she thinks I will pay for it, because that is typical on a guy buying the wedding related expenses. Let me ask you this...if she asked to pay for this stuff, would that mean she was thinking "friends"? I think I am annalyzing this way too much. I just need to take her on a date and drop a few hints that I like her more than friends and see what she has to say.
Author prayingshecomesback Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 A little more history between us. I have known this girl since she was born. She had a big crush on me when she was going through her early teens but I thought nothing about it because I was touching 20 and figured it was just puppy love and she will grow out of it. And the fact I didnt want to go to jail. HAHA. Fast forward 10 years and I didnt see her as much through those years... I went on 2 trips with her and her brother to Hilton Head in the last month to see her mom. During those 2 trips, she was back to her flirty self with me... grabbing my hand in the car and holding it for about a minute and then releasing it... and pinching and slapping my butt...and constantly trying to grab me. She never had a father in her life and I think that is why I think I have a chance. I could win her over by showing her that father figure-like guy she never had. How would you play it?
Double Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 (edited) She hasnt asked about the flight info... but I am assuming she thinks I will pay for it, because that is typical on a guy buying the wedding related expenses. Let me ask you this...if she asked to pay for this stuff, would that mean she was thinking "friends"? I think I am annalyzing this way too much. I just need to take her on a date and drop a few hints that I like her more than friends and see what she has to say. Right, that's exactly what BCCA and I are getting at. She thinks she's getting a free trip to Vegas out of this. Therefore, the fact that she accepted does not definitively indicate her interest in you. If she offered to pay, all that would mean is that she recognizes this is probably going to cost a bit of money, and she has good manners. On the other hand, I'm assuming that you have more disposable income, being 8 years older. She probably assumes you know her financial situation and that you'd be paying. As far as asking her on a date and "dropping hints" I think that ship has sailed buddy. If she's not interested you're putting her (and yourself) in a very awkward situation since she already accepted the wedding invite. Edited October 13, 2009 by Double
Double Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 A little more history between us. I have known this girl since she was born. She had a big crush on me when she was going through her early teens but I thought nothing about it because I was touching 20 and figured it was just puppy love and she will grow out of it. And the fact I didnt want to go to jail. HAHA. Fast forward 10 years and I didnt see her as much through those years... I went on 2 trips with her and her brother to Hilton Head in the last month to see her mom. During those 2 trips, she was back to her flirty self with me... grabbing my hand in the car and holding it for about a minute and then releasing it... and pinching and slapping my butt...and constantly trying to grab me. She never had a father in her life and I think that is why I think I have a chance. I could win her over by showing her that father figure-like guy she never had. How would you play it? Well when you put it that way....you sound creepy dude.
Author prayingshecomesback Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 Yeah that did sound creepy. haha. Im just trying to say that she might want someone in her life that is mature and can take care of her.
Author prayingshecomesback Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 As far as asking her on a date and "dropping hints" I think that ship has sailed buddy. If she's not interested you're putting her (and yourself) in a very awkward situation since she already accepted the wedding invite. Crap. Well... so she knows how I feel and she said yes. If she wanted nothing to do with me, I think she would never had said yes. She would have given me the line..." I dont know I have a lot of things going on" or "I will let you know later"...but she responded right away with a yes.
Star Gazer Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Well when you put it that way....you sound creepy dude. And MANIPULATIVE.
Double Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 (edited) Crap. Well... so she knows how I feel and she said yes. If she wanted nothing to do with me, I think she would never had said yes. She would have given me the line..." I dont know I have a lot of things going on" or "I will let you know later"...but she responded right away with a yes. Not necessarily...since she's getting a free trip to Vegas out of this. Of course she might be interested, but as I stated earlier, I think it would be erroneous of you to assume that acceptance of your invitation definitively means she's interested in you. I also don't recall seeing anywhere in this thread where you stated that you specifically told her you're interested in her...in fact I thought that this was the reason you started this thread; you wanted to know how you should go about making it clear to her that you're interested, since you didn't think she did know, despite accepting your invitation. Given your relationship with her, I would think she could safely assume that you asked her as a friend. Not to say that that is how she took it. Edited October 13, 2009 by Double
BCCA Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I really think you might want to get a little clarity before dropping cash to take this girl to vegas with you. She might be thinking 100% platonic, and youre going to be kinda irked if shes flirting with other guys or doesnt show up back at your room one night. Besides, life is too short to wonder. There has to be someone you can ask to find out, or youre going to have to suck it up and find out yourself. Trust me though, dont go on a vacation youre paying for without knowing for sure. Nothing like paying good money so a chick you like can party with other dudes...
terra Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I have been plenty of dates to weddings that were platonic! And if I have invited platonic dates to weddings as well. Weddings are a fun - hell I'd go to vegas with you. But I would be careful about how you go about telling her. If some guy told me he was interested in me and the next date was flying to Vegas I would be scared even if I reciprocated interest. It is way too much pressure. If she said that you are like a brother to her, would you still take her?
Author prayingshecomesback Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 You are so right man. That's what I don't want... To have her hang out with other guys... Or just play me as a friend the whole time. I would rather go by myself and meet hot women there. One of her friends did tell me that "she definatley sees the chemisty between us". But Who knows. I was thinking if I show this girl the rime of her life at this wedding, I could tell her "wow I had a really good time with you. I want you to know I am having feelings for you, would you want to go on a date when we get back?" thanks for your help BCCA, you have helped me before on another thread to just let go of my ex... I am moving on and trying to find this painful thing called love.
Author prayingshecomesback Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 I have been plenty of dates to weddings that were platonic! And if I have invited platonic dates to weddings as well. Weddings are a fun - hell I'd go to vegas with you. But I would be careful about you go about telling her. If some guy told me he was interested in me and the next date was flying to Vegas I would be scared even if I reciprocated interest. It is way too much pressure. If she said that you are like a brother to her, would you still take her? yeah. You are right. I have seen people take friends to weddings but not destination weddings. She is probably thinking "free trip to Vegas, why not!" My gut tells me she thinks as friends, but I am hoping in the back of her mind she may be wanting to let me know she likes me more than a friend. I will probably know in the first hour of me picking her up for the airport if this is going to be on the friendship tip or not... If she pulls away quick and does things to make sure I know this is strictly platonic, than I am screwed. But we would have a good time... She is a super cool chick.
Double Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 OP, know how you're coming across to me in this thread? As someone who is completely wishy-washy - it seems that every time someone posts something, in your next post you are parroting them, and suddenly what they said is truth; not only a truth, but your truth, and the truth. The reason I'm pointing this out is that I'm wondering if this is how you are in real life also. Because it kind of sounds like you need to grow a backbone and start having a personality, convictions, and opinions of your own.
Author prayingshecomesback Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 OP, know how you're coming across to me in this thread? As someone who is completely wishy-washy - it seems that every time someone posts something, in your next post you are parroting them, and suddenly what they said is truth; not only a truth, but your truth, and the truth. The reason I'm pointing this out is that I'm wondering if this is how you are in real life also. Because it kind of sounds like you need to grow a backbone and start having a personality, convictions, and opinions of your own. Well, to tell you the truth...my self esteem is low right now. My first true love that I dated for nearly 3 years broke up with me in July and I am finally coming back out to the dating scene after out of it for a long time. I guess I come across as "parroting", because I came here to figure out if accepting a date to a wedding is a sign she may like me...Everyone makes a good point and I have to agree with what alot is said. My self confidence is low right now though, I am trying to get over that after my heartbreak.
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