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Is this grandparenting behaviour "normal"


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1. Using the restroom with the child, deficating or urining in the presence of the child.

2. calling themselves mommy on accident a million times.

3. insisting holding a grandson's peepee for him although he has been potty trained and can do it himself.

4. crossing parental boundaries and consistantly overstepping the parents, acting as if she is the birth mother.

5. teaching a toddler to watch slowly and say "drip, drip, drip." when he is done peeing.

6. getting dressed, nakid, showering in front of the child.

7. becoming very emotinal and depressed if they do not see the grandchild for 6 days.

8. insisting a 2yr old and a 5yr old attent a wake and funeral, then procceed to "teach" them about death.

 

 

I could go on... but is this behaviour normal for a grandmother?

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Nope. Not as you described.

As to the funeral and death info - thats clearly up to the parent.

 

This grand parent needs to NOT be a regular care giver.

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The grandmother in this case is overstepping on the parents' ground..

 

She's taking her role waaayy too seriously... in fact, she probably thinks she can do a better job than the mother.. :o

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OMG not for my family. and honestly at 5 years old they shouldnt be seeing anyone naked. That just sounds very bizarre and i am not sure that his is at all healthy. But here is the bottom line. if you as the parent are not comfortable with this then make it stop NOW.

 

I would post further but i am unsure. Are you the parent? are these your parents or your partners? How was the relationship prior to kids? ect?

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OMG not for my family. and honestly at 5 years old they shouldnt be seeing anyone naked. That just sounds very bizarre and i am not sure that his is at all healthy. But here is the bottom line. if you as the parent are not comfortable with this then make it stop NOW.

 

I would post further but i am unsure. Are you the parent? are these your parents or your partners? How was the relationship prior to kids? ect?

 

 

WHAT?????????????? are you serious?... come on.. I would have no problem getting undressed before my grand-daughter.. I see nothing wrong.. even for the dad or the mother to take a bath with their young ones.. :confused:

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GorillaTheater
WHAT?????????????? are you serious?... come on.. I would have no problem getting undressed before my grand-daughter.. I see nothing wrong.. even for the dad or the mother to take a bath with their young ones.. :confused:

 

I'm leaning towards Girlygal on this. But it's not a matter of "right" or "wrong", it's a matter of respecting the parents' boundaries and wishes on this. PResuming they've made their wishes known. So how about it, OP. Have you or your husband spoken to grandma about your concerns?

 

And, incidently, grandma sounds like a bit of a nut.

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sounds like granny has control/boundary issues, and you need to cut her off before your kid gets warped.

 

I get what you're saying, Lizzie, but I think after a certain age, kids need to be taught that their bodies are private matter. I also think it's easier for women to wrap their head around the idea that their young child saw her mom or her sisters nude than they would with an in-law being unclothed!

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Glad someone sees what i am saying by the naked thing. i would be mortified if i found out my mom was naked around my kids. Sure they have all taken showers with me, but by the time they are around 3.5 i start teaching them that their bodies are private and that they shouldnt be running around naked where other people can see them. But to have someone standing over my 5 year old and holding their peepee while they urinate???? Thats just wierd!

 

but then again i also dont post pics of myself with my tatas and nips showing through my shirt. call me a prude but i don't want my naked body out there for public display. So lets just say that we are on two opposite ends of the spectrum. Not that your pic is bad (cause honestly my H would love to see a pic of me like that) but i just don't have the head to be comfortable with that.

Edited by Girlygal
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If you aren't happy with any of this, then why are you letting it happen?

 

It's one thing to argue about nudity etc but if you have opinions on what should or shouldn't happen, then do something about it! If she won't listen, then consider not putting your child in a position where those things are going to happen.

 

It's sort of irrelevant whether or not she is a bit nuts...it's a bit passive to just stand by and let her do those things when you feel uncomfortable about them. Your child is going to pick up on this too pretty soon and start feeling awkward. You need to teach him that it's ok to stand up for yourself, and set boundaries for personal space / privacy.

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