Yashy Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 (edited) My girlfriend and I had a beautiful relationship for 3years, we loved one another dearly. To the point where she would look and sigh everytime her eyes locked with mine. Now, I got made redundant 2months ago but I was also at a point where I didn't want to rush into another job, as I had savings and wanted to think hard about the next career move. She felt a little 'unsettled' about this. After her birthday, she had to go for work on a convention for 4 days. She didn't really want to go, because she wanted to enjoy the weekend with me instead. Anyways, after she got back she had changed. She kept going through this hot/cold phase. Until literally 2weeks later, she said 'i think we should break up'. She literally left me 2 days after the last day at my job. Then literally 3 weeks after the breakup, I found out that she's started seeing someone else who works for the same company but in France (she's French who lives in London). When I asked her if she misses 'us', her response was 'in a different way than before..' etc. Unbelievable! My relationship with her was very loving, it wasn't some boring thing that 'pushed us apart'. I always made sure we did things regularly and had fun together. It's so confusing for me, I wake up every day and miss everything we had so much. My question is: How does someone just have a change of heart so quickly?! How do you do that? Is it possible that as a career oriented girl, she felt like she wanted someone to provide greater security and direction? And that it affected her vision of the 'future'? Edited October 13, 2009 by Yashy
NoneoftheAbove Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Im sorry for your loss. There is nothing you can do but let go, you seem like a good person and you deserve better than a girl leaving you for another man. People change, some for good, some for bad in this case she changed for the bad. You need to NC right away, you deserve better. In time everything will get better, dont lose your hope, also dont have hope that she will return to you. Live your life she ll never return. You are not alone my friend. Best wishes.
TaraMaiden Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Bottom line? She fell out of love with you, and into love with someone else. It happens. It can happen very quickly, even in a way she propbably could not explain, to any great degree. Simply put, it's possible she was bored, loved you out of habit, and felt a frisson when she met this other guy, it seemed to put your relationship into a different perspective, and she's looking for something fresh. It's possible she gets 'bored' easily, and that it has nothing to do with outside activities and doing stuff together. Yucky as it definitely is, you just didn't 'do' it for her any more. She thinks she's found someone else who does. we shall see..... But unfortunately, you're unlikely to re-kindle anything with her, so I wouldn't even think of going down that route....
Author Yashy Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 I appreciate it, thanks peeps. I'm upset, but I do know that I'll get on with my life and enjoy myself. It's just very confusing at times. I'm not going to try to get her back, that's not my intention at all. Yes, people can fall out of love, sure. But I knew that there were times when I had certain doubts when someone very sexy at the office was flirting away at me, but I would ask myself the question 'when was the last time I felt happy when I was with my girlfriend?'...and my answer would be 'just the other day', therefore my thoughts regarding the person opposite me would diminish and I would walk away from it without hestitation. It sometimes takes 'emotional training'. We know where a country on the map is, or how much the dollar conversion is, but not many people have had emotional training on themselves, i.e. 'why they feel the way they do'. My personal belief is that although love isn't something one can explain (i.e. it's not logical), but one can also work on their emotions some more and get a bit more insight into it. Many people have no idea what their emotions mean, why they feel a certain way. There's sometimes not anything 'missing'. It's just the feelings they have with someone new rekindles a fire. With a bit of work on oneself, one can do the same thing with their current relationship...it just takes a bit more work sometimes, than the relative easiness of walking into something new.
JaggedRoad Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 I appreciate it, thanks peeps. I'm upset, but I do know that I'll get on with my life and enjoy myself. It's just very confusing at times. I'm not going to try to get her back, that's not my intention at all. Yes, people can fall out of love, sure. But I knew that there were times when I had certain doubts when someone very sexy at the office was flirting away at me, but I would ask myself the question 'when was the last time I felt happy when I was with my girlfriend?'...and my answer would be 'just the other day', therefore my thoughts regarding the person opposite me would diminish and I would walk away from it without hestitation. It sometimes takes 'emotional training'. We know where a country on the map is, or how much the dollar conversion is, but not many people have had emotional training on themselves, i.e. 'why they feel the way they do'. My personal belief is that although love isn't something one can explain (i.e. it's not logical), but one can also work on their emotions some more and get a bit more insight into it. Many people have no idea what their emotions mean, why they feel a certain way. There's sometimes not anything 'missing'. It's just the feelings they have with someone new rekindles a fire. With a bit of work on oneself, one can do the same thing with their current relationship...it just takes a bit more work sometimes, than the relative easiness of walking into something new. I'm glad you're not going after her. You sound like a good person, so I hope you find someone who shares your views on love. Best of luck to you =)
Author Yashy Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 Thanks man. If you're kind enough to make comments like that, you're just as good a person:)
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