juegosdeseduccion Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 My GF of 3 years broke up with me about a week and a half ago, I have very strong feelings for her, I mean to the world she was just a girl, but to me she was the world, I know I wasn't the best man, but I love her with all my heart, I thought we had broken up because she did not have time for me, I mean work and school take up all of her time, after we broke up we spent about a 5 days without talking, then I broke down and I had to talk to her, I called her and left her a message then she called me from work and she was kinda like "What do you want to talk to about? you will never understant" I begged her, told her the sweetest things, but she seemed so cold, I asked her if she loved me and she said "of course I love you" she started to get annoyed, she said "I'm at work, I gotta go" then she started getting all upset about it, then I got mad and said "Then why did you call me from work?" and she just kept arguing, I got very upset and she said "see thats what I'm talking about, you can be super sweet one sencond, and the next you can be angry "I said do you not want to talk to me?" she kept avoiding the question, and finally she said "I don't want to talk to you, is that what you want to hear?" Anyway, so I'm pretty sure this is it, I just want to know that my feelings are correct right now, I am incredibly depressed, I think about her all the time, I am trying to talk to the girls that I did not talk to because of her, I even contacted my ex from 4 years ago, I feel so lonely, I feel like trash, like if she made me who I am, I know thats not true, I mean I am very confident and I have alot of friends, and they all let me know that they care, but I just feel like miniscule in the world, I don't understand why, I used to love life, I feel like I forgot how to be happy, nothing feels the same, I want to leave town, just get out, me and one of friends are just thinking about leaving everything and going away, now is this ok? I mean does everyone feel like this and then just get over it? I really hope so because this hurts so bad, I can't think straight, or at least how i would like to, I am trying to keep up my 2 jobs and school, and its going alright, but its like the world is black and white now, she was all the color, I am trying to be cold, trying to think of her as just a girl, just someone who is passing through my life, but it is so difficult....Am I feeling like a normal broken hearted person? thank you.
bluestraps Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Go to You tube and type in "get back your ex". or "get your ex back" . there are some videos there. You may want to now do nothing for another week. Leave her alone. Let her miss you. You have a few questions to ask yourself. 1) Is she really worth it ,(personality, looks , things in common, can you see yourself being with this person for a long term commitment ?) 2) is it possible she found someonelse. 3) Did you get lazy when it came to making her feel special. 4)Did you remember all the special days. 5)Is sex or lack of it an issue. You still have a chance as long as no one else is involved .
singleithink Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I'm sorry your going through this pain i know how your feeling my husband walked out on me and our 2 kids a little over 4 weeks ago together 12 years. You are only apart such a short time it will hurt like mad for a while you'll be up and down for quite a while feeling hurt and heart broken then annoyed and then thinking well f**K her and then the same all over again.one day up the other down its so sad,but if you want to get her back you will need to give her space. Don't know much about your relationship you don't say a lot but if she is saying about being sweet one min and angry another then maybe this is something you need to talk about with her maybe see if she thinks you need anger management classes. Hope i'm not out of line but as i said you havn't given much away. I really don't mean to offend. Good luck i hope it works out for u both.
Author juegosdeseduccion Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 Go to You tube and type in "get back your ex". or "get your ex back" . there are some videos there. You may want to now do nothing for another week. Leave her alone. Let her miss you. You have a few questions to ask yourself. 1) Is she really worth it ,(personality, looks , things in common, can you see yourself being with this person for a long term commitment ?) 2) is it possible she found someonelse. 3) Did you get lazy when it came to making her feel special. 4)Did you remember all the special days. 5)Is sex or lack of it an issue. You still have a chance as long as no one else is involved . Well I pretty much have my mindset in leaving her alone, I do believe she is worth it, and sadly I know its my fault, I did get lazy when it came to make her feel special, our sex was amazing, always, which saddens me because the last time we had sex it was incredible...do you think she will miss me?
Author juegosdeseduccion Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 I'm sorry your going through this pain i know how your feeling my husband walked out on me and our 2 kids a little over 4 weeks ago together 12 years. You are only apart such a short time it will hurt like mad for a while you'll be up and down for quite a while feeling hurt and heart broken then annoyed and then thinking well f**K her and then the same all over again.one day up the other down its so sad,but if you want to get her back you will need to give her space. Don't know much about your relationship you don't say a lot but if she is saying about being sweet one min and angry another then maybe this is something you need to talk about with her maybe see if she thinks you need anger management classes. Hope i'm not out of line but as i said you havn't given much away. I really don't mean to offend. Good luck i hope it works out for u both. You are not offending me, thank you for responding, well I do believe I am passive aggressive, I am not violent or anything like that, but I do get over things alot faster than her, then I get annoyed because she is still upset, I know thats what she means with that...I do want her back, but I really don't she does, I mean...she has been so cold...like never before.
jackson87 Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 My GF of 3 years broke up with me about a week and a half ago, I have very strong feelings for her, I mean to the world she was just a girl, but to me she was the world, I know I wasn't the best man, but I love her with all my heart, I thought we had broken up because she did not have time for me, I mean work and school take up all of her time, after we broke up we spent about a 5 days without talking, then I broke down and I had to talk to her, I called her and left her a message then she called me from work and she was kinda like "What do you want to talk to about? you will never understant" I begged her, told her the sweetest things, but she seemed so cold, I asked her if she loved me and she said "of course I love you" she started to get annoyed, she said "I'm at work, I gotta go" then she started getting all upset about it, then I got mad and said "Then why did you call me from work?" and she just kept arguing, I got very upset and she said "see thats what I'm talking about, you can be super sweet one sencond, and the next you can be angry "I said do you not want to talk to me?" she kept avoiding the question, and finally she said "I don't want to talk to you, is that what you want to hear?" Anyway, so I'm pretty sure this is it, I just want to know that my feelings are correct right now, I am incredibly depressed, I think about her all the time, I am trying to talk to the girls that I did not talk to because of her, I even contacted my ex from 4 years ago, I feel so lonely, I feel like trash, like if she made me who I am, I know thats not true, I mean I am very confident and I have alot of friends, and they all let me know that they care, but I just feel like miniscule in the world, I don't understand why, I used to love life, I feel like I forgot how to be happy, nothing feels the same, I want to leave town, just get out, me and one of friends are just thinking about leaving everything and going away, now is this ok? I mean does everyone feel like this and then just get over it? I really hope so because this hurts so bad, I can't think straight, or at least how i would like to, I am trying to keep up my 2 jobs and school, and its going alright, but its like the world is black and white now, she was all the color, I am trying to be cold, trying to think of her as just a girl, just someone who is passing through my life, but it is so difficult....Am I feeling like a normal broken hearted person? thank you. My girlfriend of 4 years left me while I was in college. It broke me in every possible way. I just felt numb, hopeless, and sad. I couldn't sleep, eat, or associate with anyone unless they were willing to listen to me. It got worse everyday for the first few weeks. I missed her, we talked every single day for 4 years, and just like that she was gone. One day she said she loved me, the next day she left. I couldnt comprehend it, I didnt want to. I openly broke down a few times, but for the most part I kept it inside. I only slept an hour or two a night for a month because I would dream about her only to wake up and realize she wasnt there anymore. So, my advice to you. You are only going to feel worse and worse for a short time. You have to go through the stages of grief. Your heart was broken man, its the worst thing that can happen to someone in love, but you cant change her mind. Talk to people, talk to friends, family, etc. Get out in public. The only thing that made me feel better for the first two months was talking about it. Get rid of anything that reminds you of her and avoid any places you two used to freqeuent. Disappear. Don't call her, don't writer her, just let her be. This is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO. Back off, let her breathe. DO NOT contact her no matter what. I made this mistake many times. Just disappear, its your only way to 1) heal 2) make her realize what she lost. Focus on you. Its going to be the roughest ride, but if you can wait it out it will be worth it. Ask someone new out on a date in a few weeks, go to the bar with friends...But avoid drinking alone. This almost killed me and I dont wish that on anyone. You can bounce back from this, just stay in school, keep going to work, and it will all be okay man. But NO CONTACT! I got dumped 2 years ago, and literally just spoke to my ex for the first time earlier this week. She initiated it and said this "If you would have given me space, I would have come back to you." So, if there is hope for you and your ex, you gotta let go and back of COMPLETELY. Block her number, facebook, etc. Heal yourself. She might come back she might not, but if you have any chance then you need to avoid contact at any and all costs. Even if you loose your best friend, don't call her. If nothing else it will give you time to heal. Good Luck
jackson87 Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 And everything you are feeling is normal. You are going to be sad for a long time. I'm still sad, but time will heal you. This is life, and a break up is one of the most important lessons you will learn from it. Take this experience for what its worth. Nothing, will change her mind. Don't bother trying to change her mind. I really feel what you are going through and will keep monitoring this thread to help you out. I was in your EXACT position not too long ago and now I am living a very happy life. It just takes time.
Author juegosdeseduccion Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 And everything you are feeling is normal. You are going to be sad for a long time. I'm still sad, but time will heal you. This is life, and a break up is one of the most important lessons you will learn from it. Take this experience for what its worth. Nothing, will change her mind. Don't bother trying to change her mind. I really feel what you are going through and will keep monitoring this thread to help you out. I was in your EXACT position not too long ago and now I am living a very happy life. It just takes time. Today I feel a lot worse than ever...I don't know, last night I drank with a couple of friends I had a great time, I did not think about her for the most part...but right now...this is really killing me...I want to talk to her so bad...I feel like I am just holding my tears...my chest burns...I miss her so bad...guys...this is awful, I know I shouldn't talk to her...but I want to so bad...I can't do this much longer...
Metal_Muffin Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 My boyfriend left me a week today and I'm not even sure why. I've been feeling what you have. Went out to a club felt fine then it seems to come back and slap you in the face. You will find though that those moments of you being you and just having a nice time will slowly get longer. I still hurt and I miss him but I know I have to give him space, I love him and if that's what he needs that's what he shall get. That helps me not to txt him but let yourself grieve. It's all just a process. I do really hope you feel better, even for 5 mins soon. Hugs. Xx
jackson87 Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Today I feel a lot worse than ever...I don't know, last night I drank with a couple of friends I had a great time, I did not think about her for the most part...but right now...this is really killing me...I want to talk to her so bad...I feel like I am just holding my tears...my chest burns...I miss her so bad...guys...this is awful, I know I shouldn't talk to her...but I want to so bad...I can't do this much longer... It gets worse before it gets better. Just remember that IT WILL get better. Wait it out man, its going to be the hardest thing you've probably had to do in your entire life, but you have to focus on you now. Don't dwell on what you can't change. Its impossible not to think of her and not to hurt, but just know she is going to continue living her life and you have to do the same. I know the feelings you have. I still feel empty and my stomach still tightens up everytime I am reminded of my ex. Take some time off of your daily routine and leave town for a few days. By the second week of my break up, I couldn't take it anymore so I went to the mountains with some friends and just put myself as far away from the situation as possible. It really helped clear my head. Nothing anyone says will make you feel better, but if you can find a solid support group to talk to (family, friends, this forum), you can evaluate yourself and set some goals that help you get through it. It just takes time man. For me, the days moved by so slowly and the nights even slower. For months I was in a daze and was just barely getting by. After 5 or 6 months I was able to seperate myself from the feelings if I really tried. You are never going to forget her or what you had, but just remember the good, fix the bad (within yourself), and maybe one day down the road, if you can just disappear from her, she will come looking.
Author juegosdeseduccion Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 Thank you so much, I do feel that way and today was hard, but I have quite a busy day tomorrow so I am looking forward to it.
Author juegosdeseduccion Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 It gets worse before it gets better. Just remember that IT WILL get better. Wait it out man, its going to be the hardest thing you've probably had to do in your entire life, but you have to focus on you now. Don't dwell on what you can't change. Its impossible not to think of her and not to hurt, but just know she is going to continue living her life and you have to do the same. I know the feelings you have. I still feel empty and my stomach still tightens up everytime I am reminded of my ex. Take some time off of your daily routine and leave town for a few days. By the second week of my break up, I couldn't take it anymore so I went to the mountains with some friends and just put myself as far away from the situation as possible. It really helped clear my head. Nothing anyone says will make you feel better, but if you can find a solid support group to talk to (family, friends, this forum), you can evaluate yourself and set some goals that help you get through it. It just takes time man. For me, the days moved by so slowly and the nights even slower. For months I was in a daze and was just barely getting by. After 5 or 6 months I was able to seperate myself from the feelings if I really tried. You are never going to forget her or what you had, but just remember the good, fix the bad (within yourself), and maybe one day down the road, if you can just disappear from her, she will come looking. I have a plan man, my birthday is on november 5th, I am going to wait untill then, if she doesn't contact me then, than ill know that it is over for good, today was awful, but I talked to 2 friends that made me feel alot better, although I do still feel like crap...I am looking forward to tomorrow, thank you so much for your support...I want her to comeback, and I am going to do all the logic things that everyone is telling me to do, don't talk to her and just keep going with my life...it hurts, more than anything, but I can do it. just as a side discussion though...what do you guys think she is thinking right now? I looked at her myspace and although she did change somethings, it says "My life is falling apart right now" and her relationship status still says she is in a relationship and all of our pictures are still there, that made me feel kinda better, is that stupid? I don't know what to think.
Eisenhower Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Man, you gotta stop looking at her Facebook. I'm going through the same thing and the first thing I did was delete her FB and all her friends ... I can't afford the potential pain of seeing her on FB and what she's up to. It can only hurt you. I feel for you man, I know what pain you're going through. My girl changed too and it's been the most painful experience of my life. Hang in there. Rationally, I know in time it has to get better. It's just hard to convince our hearts of that right now.
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