stuckinoz Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 I may get screamed out of the thread for this....But My affair partner & myself - both live in an affluant community (yes I know, HIV is not discriminatory) We were in our early 40's at the time - neither of us had been (since high school) with anyone but our spouses. We had spoken about protection - but in the heat of the moment (so to speak) we did not use it. So, after the first time together there really was no reason to discuss it again & we didn't. The affair was on & off for the course of 3 years. Hind site - Yeah, probably not the brightest thing either of us did - BUT for those of you that are so FURIOUS with those of us that don't use protection - look at from our perspective. There really wasn't a need.
JamesM Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Hind site - Yeah, probably not the brightest thing either of us did - BUT for those of you that are so FURIOUS with those of us that don't use protection - look at from our perspective. There really wasn't a need. And honestly, for the most part, this is correct. I doubt that many individuals in affairs DO catch an STD. Yet IMO one needs to look at the attitude behind not using protection. Having an affair is a breach of the marriage contract and while this affair may be justifiable in some cases based on the state of the marriage, does it then justify putting the betrayed partner's health at risk, too? Isn't this taking it a step too far?
TheLoneSock Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Just like most things, it's not what your intetions are, it's what you actually do. It's about principal. The mere fact that you're WILLING to cheat, is wrong, but to not even care about protection (of yourself, your SO), is taking it an entire step further. Not only are you OK with hurting your SO, your OK with taking the risk to both you and your SO's health as well- just so you can what, get off with another person? Complete trash.
2sure Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 My H is an endorsed CONSERVATIVE. 40ish. All american looking white guy in a suit. No one would know he was a player. I am June Cleaver 90% of the time. Demure cocktail dresses, small talk, and cookies ..at least when I'm not working. No one would believe Ive had more sex with both men and women than some pros. We live in a gated community, belong to quite a few non-prof organizations. My point is that no would think either one of us would have multiple partners or an STD. Yet we both have.
sally4sara Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 My H is an endorsed CONSERVATIVE. 40ish. All american looking white guy in a suit. No one would know he was a player. I am June Cleaver 90% of the time. Demure cocktail dresses, small talk, and cookies ..at least when I'm not working. No one would believe Ive had more sex with both men and women than some pros. We live in a gated community, belong to quite a few non-prof organizations. My point is that no would think either one of us would have multiple partners or an STD. Yet we both have. This sounds like most of the people in NW DC and general surrounding area. Conservative and Liberals alike. I was shocked to realize this for like, 10 seconds. I now wonder why anyone pretends when they have so much in common. The parties would certainly be more fun with the facade removed.
Fallen Angel Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 UGH.. this thread made me start reading.. the statistics on the increase in the number of cases of Syphilis and Chlamydia are frightening! I called and made an appointment with my doctor. *sigh*
NoIDidn't Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 This thread is certainly disturbing, yet, I can understand why the APs make the decision that they do. I just know that I wouldn't. I am not getting sterilized, but I don't want to have more children. If I were to have an A, I would have no choice in the condom department to NOT use one. I am horribly allergic to the plastic that they use in them - same with the gloves used in the hospital. And I am allergic to the spermicide used in them too. This provides me with a huge incentive to not getting sexually involved with someone else unless I have *permission*. And like the others have already said, its not the not using condoms that's disturbing, its the attitude behind it. That kind of blind trust and carelessness and disrespect is almost shocking.
RedDevil66 Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Herpes can be spread even with a use of a condom. The virus is skin to skin contact. Anything in the boxer/panty region is fair game. Incorrect!
NoIDidn't Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Incorrect! No, I don't think they are incorrect. I could give cold sores to my kids if I kissed them when I had one -- so it IS skin to skin contact. But skin to skin contact with the open blisters. And you don't have to have sex to come in contact with the open blisters.
RedDevil66 Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 No' date=' I don't think they are incorrect. I could give cold sores to my kids if I kissed them when I had one -- so it IS skin to skin contact. But skin to skin contact with the open blisters. And you don't have to have sex to come in contact with the open blisters.[/quote'] We are talking about gential sores, not cold sores. If someone has a cold sore, then yes, oral sex can give you herpes, I was ref. only to the comment that genital herpes can be spread with a condom, and it cannot
NoIDidn't Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 (edited) We are talking about gential sores, not cold sores. If someone has a cold sore, then yes, oral sex can give you herpes, I was ref. only to the comment that genital herpes can be spread with a condom, and it cannot And, yet, I still disagree with you. Herpes and the genital warts are related viruses, and you can get both with or without a condom. They can be skin to skin in their transmission. Herpes blisters do not only occur on the genitals themselves. The blisters can be on the outer labia for a woman, or even on the inner thighs. A condom is not going to cover these areas, which is why during an outbreak, it is still possible to spread herpes even with a condom. It might not happen all the time, but it does happen. And because it can happen, I am a HUGE advocate of *erotic* inspections. LOL Edited October 15, 2009 by NoIDidn't
Fallen Angel Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 How is genital herpes spread? Genital herpes is spread easily. The virus from contact with an infected person can enter your body through a break in your skin or through the skin of your mouth, penis or vagina, urinary tract opening, cervix or anus. Herpes is most easily spread when blisters or sores can be seen on the infected person. But it can be spread at any time, even when there aren't any symptoms. Genital herpes is usually spread from one person to another by having sex, including oral sex. Herpes can also be spread from one place on your body to another, such as from your genitals to your fingers, then to your eyes or to other parts of your body. Herpes can also be spread from a mother to her baby when she gives birth
OWoman Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 If I were to have an A' date=' I would have no choice in the condom department to NOT use one. I am horribly allergic to the plastic that they use in them[/quote'] I just don't like the taste And like the others have already said' date=' its not the not using condoms that's disturbing, its the attitude behind it. That kind of blind trust and carelessness and disrespect is almost shocking.[/quote'] I trust no one and nothing. To me it was a very carefully considered thoughtfully weighed up decision after a thorough assessment of the risks. I'm all for passion, but I'm ever aware of consequence.
Dexter Morgan Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 Hind site - Yeah, probably not the brightest thing either of us did - BUT for those of you that are so FURIOUS with those of us that don't use protection - look at from our perspective. There really wasn't a need. there really wasn't a need for protection? Are you saying this because of the "affluent community" thing? so tell me, lets say you give your H HIV, do you think there should be a law charging you with manslaughter? I do.
LexiB Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 I think anyone that has unprotected sex with an AP, then comes back and has sex with their spouse should be tried for attempted murder. Totally agree. COMPLETELY disgusting. Just when I though the concept of an affair couldn't get any worse :sick:
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