taylor13 Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I've been in about 3 medium to serious relationships yet I have never had the honeymoon stage. Part of it is because I'm only 23 and I'm still figuring myself out. I tend to be very guarded, and it takes awhile for me to trust someone and act myself. I'm 7 months into my current relationship and yet again, no crazy love-dovey stage. Although it is getting better and better with time. Minus a few bumps, I would say each month is getting better than the next. I guess it's kind of nice to not have the fallout of the honeymoon stage, but I wonder is this normal?
BookerT Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 No it's not necessary. The honeymoon stage is the product of over romantized thinking that's all too common these days. It's part of the reason why so many relationships don't work out, and even why so many divorces happen. People are esstentially chasing feelings that are intense but short term, not a long lasting reality. When people are used to these intense feelings then as soon as reality sets in and the feelings are not as strong then they no longer feel in love.
Author taylor13 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 That's kinda how I feel. I admit sometimes I want him to be head over heels and act crazy in love, but at the same time I feel comfort in knowing that everything he does say is true, and not just a show. 7 months and still waiting for the 'i love you', hopefully it will come in time
aerogurl87 Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I agree with BookerT, it's not necessary and if you ask me you're better off without it. All it does is build up this fluffy cloud of surreal happiness that is far, far, far from reality and once that cloud disappears and people start falling to earth (reality), they then want to give up on what could be a perfectly fine relationship. But with the butterflies gone, they think it's now flawed and not worth it. Sad really.
EricaH329 Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I, personally, think that everyone is different. I do admit, with all of my past serious relationships, I did go through a honeymoon stage. But it never lasted long. And once it was over, I no longer felt attracted to them, at all! My most recent ex though, him I truley loved. The honeymoon stage lasted all the way up until we broke up. Yeah, we had bad times towards the end... actually, the majority of it was bad times... but I still felt so incredibly in love with him. It wasn't 'romantisized' by any means. We both had our flaws, and we would argue and become upset with one another, but the intensity of the love that I felt for him never went away. I believe everyone has a different way of going about things. I know that I can't help going through that stage with people that I care about. I wish I could sometimes, maybe that would lessen the pain in the end. If not going through a honeymoon stage works for you, then more power to you!! I admire you for that.
aerogurl87 Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 My most recent ex though, him I truley loved. The honeymoon stage lasted all the way up until we broke up. Yeah, we had bad times towards the end... actually, the majority of it was bad times... but I still felt so incredibly in love with him. It wasn't 'romantisized' by any means. We both had our flaws, and we would argue and become upset with one another, but the intensity of the love that I felt for him never went away. That's how I felt about my ex for the almost 6 months we dated. I could see every flaw he had, even pointed them out to him, yet I loved him with an intensity I've never felt for anyone in my entire life. It was like in those love songs where people say that their SO is the air they breathe, that's how he was to me. Now as for my current relationship, I hit this grey area that was between reality and the honeymoon stage for like a week, but now it's pretty much over. I still care about him alot, but I feel like I'm just comfortable and secure with him. Not head over heels and about to fall in love (although I think I'm falling in love with him slowly), but I'll see what happens I guess lol.
Mei Mei Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I always regard my love with bf as romance with realitic base. We are in LDR love for ten months from two different countries in Altantic and Pacific. We will meet quarterly in a year. So most of the time, our communication is in sort of communicating our intensed missing and longing for each ohters We are so yearning for the coming reunioning again. I really enjoy this time and this keep our LDR love vivid and and stronger. The cultural and distance do help to upkeep the honeymoon feeling. Though it may be abated when we finally stay together, this part will forever be the most wonderful part in our lasting love:love:
BookerT Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Well if love is chemically based, then one could argue some people are more addicted to the chemicals in the brain, whilst other people can do without the same chemical mix.
EricaH329 Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Well if love is chemically based, then one could argue some people are more addicted to the chemicals in the brain, whilst other people can do without the same chemical mix. My thoughts exactly!
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