Metal_Muffin Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Please help....I have read a lot of you explaining how NC is the best and it gets easier. Should i still be aching without him after a week? Craving any kind of communication from him? Im so scared that ill txt him and he will only reply telling me hes fine, coping, happy even! Im so confused i really dont know what to do....Any adivce?!
EricaH329 Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 It's only been a week. You have a ways to go. Wanting to talk to him is totally normal, but if I were you, I wouldn't act on it. Especially when you are going through so many emotions right now. It's not your safest bet. You should automatically assume that he's doing great. That he's happy and he's moving on with his life. That way, you can start worrying about yourself (since he's obviously not worrying about you) and start to make yourself happy. Spending all your time wondering what he's up to and how he's doing will only make your pain progress. Don't do that to yourself. It's hard right now, and it'll be hard for a little while... but don't make it worse by pining over him. Live your life. Do what makes you happy. Before you know it, he won't be on your mind anymore, and you'll be out living your life the way you want to, on your terms.
ttriplett Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Stay away. I broke NC after 2 weeks and I am in hell all over again.
Author Metal_Muffin Posted October 12, 2009 Author Posted October 12, 2009 Thank you...I know deep down your right its just bloody hard!
EricaH329 Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Thank you...I know deep down your right its just bloody hard! I know it's hard. It always is. And I know right now more than anything you just want for it to all go away. The first step towards doing that is to try (with everything you have) to redirect your attention from him, onto yourself. Once you do that, it's all downhill from there. Sure, you'll think about him from time to time, and yeah you'll be tempted to contact him once in awhile... but it won't be half as bad as it is now. You'll be focused on yourself (which you should be). And you'll be holding yourself as number one priority (which, also, you should be). I know it's hard to even entertain the idea of your situation getting any better, but I promise you, it will. You have to put the effort in though. Don't hold yourself back from moving on. You only have yourself to count on right now, don't let yourself down.
lostmirthfulness Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 yeah its nearly impossible to keep NC up... I am almost to one week, had a tough time last night. Last night I typed out a text message and was seconds away from hitting send. I didn't. I felt like calling her parents to see how she is doing, I didn't. Wednesday will be one week,... in my mind, the fact that there is no contact from them and the ball is in their court, only goes to show, you would only be hurting yourself worse by contacting them. This keeps me going.
Author Metal_Muffin Posted October 12, 2009 Author Posted October 12, 2009 The only thing with the whole balls in their court...i txt him literally saying that if he felt anything for me he wouldnt txt me. I can prob be a little pig headed when i feel im being hurt or i think a situation could end up hurting me more. I think thats what makes this no contact thing even worse, the fact that its not like he will contact me if he wants because i literally begged him not too! Thank you though guys for taking the time to write back to me...i do appreciate it
JaggedRoad Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 The only thing with the whole balls in their court...i txt him literally saying that if he felt anything for me he wouldnt txt me. I can prob be a little pig headed when i feel im being hurt or i think a situation could end up hurting me more. I think thats what makes this no contact thing even worse, the fact that its not like he will contact me if he wants because i literally begged him not too! Thank you though guys for taking the time to write back to me...i do appreciate it I think you backed yourself into a corner with that one... If he cares, then he really can't text you. But if he does text you, then you'll both be under the impression that he doesn't care
Thornton Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 I hate to tell you this, but when I broke up with the first person I was in love with, it took me eleven years to get over it and stop thinking about him It's been a couple of years since the last guy I was madly in love with and I still think about him, despite being in a relationship with someone else. All you can do is think about yourself, your own desires and dreams, and forget about everyone else. You're still thinking about your relationship with him, and you need to forget about that and focus on your relationship with yourself. Make plans for yourself, get your hair done, take up a new hobby, whatever... focus on getting back to being yourself as an individual rather than being "his gf", and no matter how hard it is you have to try to look forwards instead of backwards.
NoneoftheAbove Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I hate to tell you this, but when I broke up with the first person I was in love with, it took me eleven years to get over it and stop thinking about him It's been a couple of years since the last guy I was madly in love with and I still think about him, despite being in a relationship with someone else. All you can do is think about yourself, your own desires and dreams, and forget about everyone else. You're still thinking about your relationship with him, and you need to forget about that and focus on your relationship with yourself. Make plans for yourself, get your hair done, take up a new hobby, whatever... focus on getting back to being yourself as an individual rather than being "his gf", and no matter how hard it is you have to try to look forwards instead of backwards. 11 years? i cant really imagine what you went through. We all need to hang in there, this will all pass one day.
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