Ruthieo01 Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Hello Everyone, I would really like some help on a new relationship problem I have found in myself. Let me give you a little background first. I started dating a guy about 4 months ago and things were going really well. I have been living with him for about a month. At first things were great, sex all the time, all lovey dovey, but things have begun to slow down as I anticipated. The Honeymoon staged is beginning to fall away, but I think it is a little soon. I know that I have a problem with over thinking things, and I have never lived with a man before so every night I think "Why doesn't he want to have sex with me" and I am constantly thinking about all the stupid stuff, like why he didn't sit so close to me on the couch and why he doesn't want to be right next to me all the time. When in reality I know that it would drive me crazy if he was like that. --- I don't know how to enjoy everyday life with him. It is beginning to be a BIG problem and starting to tear us apart. I need advice on how to stop analyzing every move, or I know I am going to loose this man. Please give me some advice! Thanks
BCCA Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Youve only been dating 4 months, and youve already been living together a month? How old are you both?
Author Ruthieo01 Posted October 12, 2009 Author Posted October 12, 2009 We are in our 20's to 30's, We have an awesome relationship, I just don't know why I am being so insecure with him.
Kamille Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 You're insecure because it is early to be perceiving yourselves as falling out of the honeymoon stage. But since all this is fairly new, I would advise you to step back and give him so time to adjust to the new situation. I know that when I've moved in with my exes in the past, I caused them some anxiety because I needed a period of adjustment, and the worst thing they could do was ask me what was wrong. I think I just needed to be sure I wasn't losing myself in the relationship, and yes, that usually meant I was a bit more distant at times. Give him a bit of time, like say maybe a month. Keep busy with your own life, go out with your friends and see if things don't resolve themselves all on their own. If things keep going this way even when you've clearly stepped back, then maybe falling into a less loving routine is normal for him when he lives with someone. There you would have reasons to be concerned.
Author Ruthieo01 Posted October 12, 2009 Author Posted October 12, 2009 Yeah, I feel like I have brought this awkwardness on, because I am constantly tip toeing around him to make sure I don't say or do anything wrong, I want everything to continue to be perfect. Thanks for the advice. I think your right.
Kamille Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Yeah, I feel like I have brought this awkwardness on, because I am constantly tip toeing around him to make sure I don't say or do anything wrong, I want everything to continue to be perfect. Thanks for the advice. I think your right. Hu? Everything to be perfect? Impossible! Stop tip toeing and be yourself. I'm willing to bet he will appreciate it. And it'll be better for the both of you in the long run.
zilverenvlinder Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 The biggest mistake you made here was moving in with someone you just met three months ago. Sorry, but it's true. If you hit too many "milestones" too early in a relationship it's going to go sour very quickly.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 The biggest mistake you made here was moving in with someone you just met three months ago. Sorry, but it's true. If you hit too many "milestones" too early in a relationship it's going to go sour very quickly. That's what I was going to say. But since the damage has already been done, I'm going to have to agree with Kamille about quitting the tip-toeing. Not much else you can do. When the "honeymoon" feelings start wearing off is when you can start building something deeper. While I think 4 months is too soon for such a thing to happen, I suppose anything is possible. Maybe you need to spend a little more time AWAY from him so that when you two are together, you appreciate each other more and don't focus so much on the little rinky-dink things ("why isn't he doing this or that...").
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